Didn't know they had a blog site...
Well it's all about me then... LOL
What could I write....
I just started wearing my Niqab fulltime.. Mashallah
i don't think is Farded but after this past Eid I fell in love with my niqab... I work full time but i don't where it when i am at work just when I leave I put it on... An Imam said that was ok since I have to work... Al humdulilah.
besides if I ever do get married i would like my futre husband to see me as a Niqabi and respect my choice to wear it.
Ok that's it for now..
OK so yes its been 3 years since my ex fiance and I broke up... 1 year to heal and the next 2 jsut been in limbo.
I have met a lot of men but none I have clicked with... i met the eagers brother that would marry a pulse... and I met the ones that wants to PLAY even met the green card hunters... Only 1 I have met in person and that was this past winter...
I am just so sick and tired of fake muslims and those that want the haraam and the halaal mixed in...
One brother told me that should be gentle and sexy when I speak to him... ARE YOU CRAZY?
My sister said that it will be harder for me because there are so many women out here that will do anything to get a Husband and I'm not amongst them...
Nor do I care to be...
I might just be single for the rest of my human life...
Because in truth... Honestly No Muslim Brother today really and truly wants a sister that follows the Rules 110%
They may say that online or amongst their friends but in truth they want a Boyfriend girlfriend relationship before the wedding...
And I CAN"T DO IT... I can't I can't I can't.
Allah and his Prophet (SAW) has made marriage so easy that I just dont get why it's so hard for muslims today to abide by the rules...
i told my friend that other day (Of course i was just venting) I am not going to be good anymore... I am not going to abide by the rules no longer... It seems like if I mess up really really bad... ask for mercy and kept a little haraam then some one serious will come along and marry me... Because that's what I've seen... 2 sister I know did some shady things in order to have a husband and guess what? They got their spouse... and then there's me... who keeps to herself and always trying to remember her Deen and control her Nafs... on the side line...
Where is the Justice in that?
I am just venting but it does boil my skin... I want to shout out WHAT ABOUT ME!!!
Doesn't any muslim brother want a muslimah for wife?
I pray everyone has had a good eid and New Year...
yup 2007 is gone and I swear my hope in a spouse has gone with it... LOL
Picking is becoming small... like miroscopic.
And now I am going to be 30 in 10 days... might as well take me out to the pasture... LOL
I'm joking... I am pleased to reach the big 30, Never thought I would be single at 30 but Allahu Alim...
Currently there is one brother I have been talking to since Ramadan but I dont know where exactly is his standing... like he seems ideal the only issue I have is that he job hopes... We communicate via email but that's like once in a blue moon.
the more I think about the more feel like he's just not the one anymore... in the beginning I thaught YES... But when I look at the whole picture...
For example - I call but he never calls me...so like once a month we'll chat on the phone.
He's talking to another sister (I asked) so I dont know where or what his train in thinking...
Yes there are brothers that presents themselves in regard to marriage BUT I'm TIRED Of the GAME PLAY and WORDS and really the internet seem like the only place but it's like a small community pool....
two of my muslim friends are married and both want out because their husbands aren't nice...
Is the my Future?
Just the other day I was chatting with one brother and he was praising Non-muslim woman because they don't require a dowry.
BUT THE MEHR FOR A BRIDE IN IN THE QURAN... IT'S ALLAH's COMMAND the the Groom gives the Bride a Dowry.
What's the world of muslim men coming to... have they all been sucked into the dunya life that their only muslim by name?
I know I'm repeating myself but it's just depressing...
How can I practice and complete half my deen when it's like finding a needle in a hay stack when it comes to finding a mate?
I swear all I want is another Hybrid Cat, yes I am prepared to be a single mom through adoption or some other way...
Ideally I would love to have a husband that's really practicing the Sunnah of the Prophet. but I doubt that it will ever happen...
Fi Amin Allah
As Salaamu Alaikum my dear brothers and sisters...
I'll give you all a brief... For sometime now this brother and I have
been talking in regards to marriage- we both agree that we want to
marry each other... MashAllah...
He's from Egypt but lived most of his Adult hood here in the US. So
you can say he's a mixed of middle eastern/ american culture. How
american is he? He's a contract soldier in the US army stationed in
Anywho- When we talk by email he comes across very arrogant (example:
Last night we where discussing us and the next step. He said that I
should come first in you life at all times and that he should be
respected all around."
Granted that's the rules in Islam... Your husband is first because now
he's your Imam.
I was like and in the same manner I would like to be respected at all
times too... He went on "Why do you do that? it's always a 1 to 1 with
you." then he went on to say that I have a strong peronality and I am
Which is true... aka I am a woman... and I get the feeling that he
feels that I am in competing with me- as to who will wear the pants...
Which I am not...(I don't feel like I am).
So my question is- how if your american wife or african american wife
where you able to make your spouse see that you're with him and not
What I get from him- is that he already as it set in his mind that
we're married or close to be- therefore he wants me to follow suit and
have a wife mentality...
But we're not married and I am thinking as a singleton. But inshAllah
once I am married I would follow suit and be an obedient wife. Am I
wrong in thinking in this manner?
Next month would make it a whole year that my mom past away... I pray Allah grants her Jennah...
So now I along with my sister is taking acare of my dad...
With that in mind- I already have it set up that I'll never ever ever get married.
I was going to get married this past winter but called it off... Because I felt that he was more into coming to the States then into me. Also I was just trying to get away from my sorrow and thought getting married would earse losing my mom...That was in Jan.
Feb-to present I have spoken to various muslim men... some were ok- other duds... and they all promised me the samething " I'll take care of you, you don't have work... blah blah blah... Your father can stay with us"
Some where or some how they just haven't added up to nothing but talk...
Some are just looking for a friend online and others want to just play around... and aren't to serious...
Then I cam to a period in March i would say... that I just STOPPED... I took my profile off of sites and pulled back because I wasn't getting anywhere... All the men claim to be practicing but in truth they're like wolves.
I don't care for looks and anything superficial... just that he's a practicing muslim and trying to do his best to follow Islam... Why is that so hard...
i'm jsut so fustrated with the whole search and find...
Tell me why do people like to assume something about a person when not even knowing them?
Tell me why are most men soooooooooo one sided that they really can't think straight or put 2 and 2 together...
Like I placed a profile on one site... Mostly are Desi... didn't really think nothing of it since I saw several other nationalities up there... Not that many but a few.
Now automatically some men assume because I am african-american that I know nothing... At first it bugged me but now I'm like bump it... Never judge a book by it's color or a person in my case.
Yes I am african-american/West indian.
Yes I didn't grow up rich... But I know 3 languages other then English....
BUT when a person judge then they miss out on all the beauty inside.
Arabic French and urdu/hindi.. no I may not be fluent in them But I can understand quite a bit.
Sadly many men on this sights would over look me because of my color... and their assupmtions.
And many men that are of the same origin would over look me because I am not what they too assume I'd be.
Which leave me sitting here with an arch eyebrow... I can't deny who I am not change how Allah has created me...
Nor can I change the views of others... But I see them as being ignorant. All I can do if forgive them and let go...
As Salaamu aliakum
Today was a Glorious day for me and if Allah blesses me with the chance to per sue my childhood dream it would be my main priority and everything else will be on hold.... I swear....
I went out to lunch with a friend of mine and we were briefly chatting about this... My friend has been looking online for a spouse through various sites for more then a year. Alhamdulilah she is a newlywed... She met her husband through a friend whom she met over the web... Hence she met he now husband over the web.
My sister called me sometime last week saying that we're going to venture into cyber space and find a possible spouse because in todays time doing thing the Traditionational way isn't working...
But my only problem is the I don't have the patients to actually sift through a profile of men that aren't serious or just want someone to talk to to end up back at square one.
I don't think I have that much commitment or drive to actually goe through 10,000 loser and in the end after 2 years of search Finally meet a man that I am comfy with.
i know some sisters that have met thier mate online but they all tell me 'IT HARD WORK AND SOMETIMES IT TAKES A LONG TIME"
now in the end I'm wondering is it worth it?
Like I don't care to make friends with men nor do I care for the Degree holders looking to have cyber fun.
why can't a brotha that's really serious about marriage step up and say that they are interested in getting married... instead of "Let's be friends and see what happens"
I read that once a man mark a girl as a Friend then that's all she'll ever be is a friend and nothing more...
So why do that?
You know, I just might not be read to deal with the stress!!! I don't want to stress over finding a spouse.. Islami is easy and simple...WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND A SPOUSE THEN?
I was just reading about a film that's coming to the States about the Prophet (SAW) in a negative way- Claiming he was Homosexual.
Please tell me Why is the media picking on us Muslims- Why is Islam being attacked at both angles?
The Unbelievers and the Terrorist Milatants Claiming Jihad for themselves.
Are the unbelievers becoming scared that Islam may take over the world?
Is Shaytan starting to pull out all his tricks because Allah (SWT) has more slaves then he does followers?
Why can't the non-muslim world respect Islam as a religion.
It kills me when I read people talking mess about a faith they know nothing about. It saddens me the Ignorance run wild and free.
It hurts when I see a women trying to pull a hijabies scarf off.
I wanted to cry when I read France banned the Hijab
I want to scream when I read that Suicide bombers are going in the Mosque and blowing every one up in it.
Why WHY WHY
WHY CAN'T SOCIETY JUST SEE ISLAM LIKE ANY OTHER RELIGION?
What's the messed up is that Islam doesn't degrade any other religion. Muslims respect all people of the Book!!!
Muslims Loves and Believes in Jesus (AS) just like any Christians
We love and respect Moses (AS) just like any Jew
Why when it comes to the last Prophet Muhammad (SAW) Christian, the Jews and the unbelievers want to degrade Him and his follows?
It's Sad and I honestly feel that we as Muslims will always have to Fight. and Not fight for land or money
But Fight for Our faith... Fight for our Beliefs and Fight in the name of Allah (SWT)
I was talking to NB (Niqabi Buddy) and I asked her "Am I to picky"
She said I am a little stretched..
GOD!! All I want is a simple handsome sunni muslim hubby that has a good job and doesn't have a wahhabi way of thinking. He knows what school he follows (Hanafi Shafi etc. ). He's not against Tasawuf and He's not an ego tripper or think Big of himself.
Why is that so hard?
Not looking for perfection but I see what my friends are going through and GOD I don't want that to happen to me..
I ended a 3 years relationship with a guy because I got tired of his empty promises and his beautiful lies.
I don't want to go through that mess again...
I know I shouldn't punish a man for what a guy has done to me in the past but I've learned from it.
I CAN'T CAN'T CAN'T settle for the next Ahmed or Bilal just because he's avail.
Maybe I am scared of getting hurt again.
To me, men sing alot of songs and they will say anything for you to bend for them and I'm at the point where it's easier for me to put him on MUTE.
Then listen to a mushy line "I want to be only with you.. I love you just the way you are, I will always be here for you etc."
I don't want to deal with a man having a problem with being chaparoned... I dont want to deal with a man that's going to pick and choose what to follow and what not to follow
I don't want to deal with a man that can't Respect me as a Muslimah
I don't want to deal with a guy running around making plans without me saying so.
I don't want a guy that thinks Insulting me is ok and when it's all said he still can't apologise for his insults.
I really don't want to deal with a man that's going to question my Wali's (my father) Islamic background.
I Basically don't have time for games.
So am I being Picky?
I am not attracted to Ignorant or Arogant men. I could careless for the Bawlers. and I wanna puke when I see a half ass pretending to be all holy...
He's all Good in front of the Imam but later on he's hitting up the club and hooking up with some girl from there... ~ Half ass~ or he picks and choose what to follow
I'm not attracted a Brother who doesn't follow a certian school instead he say I am just a muslim- Because that's general- and they are the same ones that will pull different meanings for different things from the four schools but doesn't follow any of them..
Basically he's a pick and chooser in his deen.
I lived to long been through to much and seen alot to just settle with just anyone. I have to many examples of what happens when one just settle with whatever. I promise myself I don't want to end up like those examples.
Am I being to picky?
I found this article and it's so true.. We talk about fearing Allah (SWT) and doing good to please Allah- But what about Loving HIM?
Rabi'a al-'Adawiyya was a women who fell in Love with Allah. It was a deep love that NO MAN could come between.
How I wish I could love like that..
It just reminds me even when I don't pay attention to Him- Allah still loves me and any of his servants ask for his help he will give it... If you walk to him - He'll run to you..
Why can't I feel like that towards HIM?
I am (like most people) always looking for someone to love me or someone to love when low and behold Allah (SWT) Loves me more then any being on the Universe and yet I don't show that love back.
Stop looking for love because the type of love I long for is already there..
Now my question is HOW SHOULD I EMBRACE IT?
Allah is in my heart. I breath because of him... He's closer to me then my jugular and yet I still don't give My true Lover that much attention *tears*
Anywho please read...
I want to talk about a subject thet I find too many Muslims neglect. I want to talk about love for Allah. We talk about loving for the sake of Allah or fearing Allah, but few of us discuss the subject of loving Allah. I will tackle this issue from several perspectives, the religious and the practical. Our scholars agree that the basis of the ibadah in the deen is fearing Allah to the maximum potential and loving Allah to the maximum potential.
Sheikh Al-Islam, Ibn Taymiyya (may Allah have Mercy upon him) has defined ibadah, according to Islamic law, as follows: "It is the obedience of Allah by following his commands which His messengers preached.". He also said, "Ibadah is a collective term for all that Allah loves of deeds and sayings and actions concealed and revealed (in the heart.) Ibadah has two major conditions. The first of which is the utmost humbling, debasing of oneself, submission, yielding and obedience. The second condition is the utmost love.".
Sheikh Al-Islam, Ibn Taymiyyah, (may Allah have Mercy upon him) after he explained the act of worship as having the meaning of humbling and obedience, said that, "The Ibadah which Allah wants from us is the one which contains the meaning of humbleness and obedience and the meaning of love." He further stated, "Therefore, Ibadah contains the utmost humbleness and obedience and the utmost love to Allah."
Ibn Taymiya (may Allah have Mercy upon him) also said, "And if someone submits to a man while he hates him, he won't be considered as worshiping him. Also, a man can love a son or a friend, but this love alone does not encompass worshiping him." This is why, in worshiping Allah, one of the parts of Ibadah is not enough, even though it is a requirement that Allah must be the most beloved to His servant, more than anything. Allah has to be to him greater than anything. No one is worth the exclusive love and humbleness except Allah. Whatever has been loved for other than the sake of Allah is corrupted, and whatever is glorified for other than the sake of Allah is falsehood. For Allah says,
Say, 'If your parents, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your kindred, your wealth that you have gained, the commerce in which you fear a decline, and the dwellings in which you delight are dearer to you than Allah and His apostle, and striving hard and fighting in His cause, then wait until Allah brings about His decision (torment). And Allah guides not the rebellious folk.' (9:24). (Al Abudiyyah by Ibn Taymyia).
Allah also says:
Yet there are men who take (for worship) others besides Allah, as equal (with Allah): They love them as they should love Allah. But those of Faith are overflowing in their love for Allah. If only the unrighteous could see, behold, they would see the penalty: that to Allah belongs all power, and Allah will strongly enforce the penalty. (2:165)
It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces Towards east or West; but it is righteousness- to believe in Allah and the Last Day, and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves; to be steadfast in prayer, and practice regular charity; to fulfil the contracts which ye have made; and to be firm and patient, in pain (or suffering) and adversity, and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the Allah-fearing. (2:177)
Say: "If ye do love Allah, Follow me (Muhammad): Allah will love you and forgive you your sins: For Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (3:31)
The Quraan is filled with such commads to us to love Allah.
Now let us discuss the concept of love. What does it mean to love Allah above all else? Well let us put it into practical terms. When we are filled with love for anyone in this world, be it romantic or friendly or familial love, we give of ourselves selflessly. We pine away when the object of our love is dissatisfied with us, and we do all that is in our power to placate them.
The lover loves to please his love. For the males: If your wife or mom is upset with you, you bend over backwards trying to find an opening into her heart, to gain her forgiveness and love. Females: When your husband or father is angry, you find a way to please them, to make them happy with you again. We all feel the heartbreak of our lover's unhappiness, but how many of us truely feel this when we know that we have pleased Allah, the one deserving of our love more than any other.
Do we really feel the lover's lament over a broken promise or a sin committed? If we do, we are very lucky. I, for one, can not say that I always feel the lover's implications of my action. I don't always think of Allah as the receiver of my love. Usually, I am only concerned about my fear of him, forgetting that He is the most beloved to my heart as well. I Love Allah, so I should show it, as should we all. We must feel the fear, and never forget it. We feel the awe and the respect, but we should never neglect the love. For the reward for this love is beyond words. It is the Love of Allah towards us. What more should I crave? When Allah loves His servant, He commands the Angels and all mankind to love him as well. He forgives him his sins, and He helps him when he is in need. If you have Allah as your love, you need no one else.
O Allah, I beg you to give us the love, fear, awe, respect and reverance for You. Please open our hearts and guide our deeds to the best for this life and the next. O Allah, I beg You to grant us Jannah, forgive us our sins, and make us from the best of Your nation. And O Allah, Al Wadud, Al Rahman, Al Raheem, I beseach You to Love us. Ameen.
Haven't been on this site in AGES... and it has now has a blogging page... How cool... Hmmmmmmmm what to blog?
Well, I would like to know how many people have actually found thier spouse online? Is it more common now?
I am a bouncer... Never really believe in online connecting but curious to see if it does happen. I have friends that have done it... but I am still iffy about the whole thing... I'm old fashion I guess...Allahu Alim
Ma Brook to those that have met thier spouse online, who are in egaged!!!