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Convert2011
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Posted on Tue, Mar 15, 2011 19:45

The question that I have is how does a female convert without a family marry? Does the fact that I had a child before I converted make a difference? Would I be treated any differently because of these two situations? Would concerns should I have if any?


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naannaa
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total posts: 15
Posted on Mon, May 12, 2014 09:27

Unfortunatly a lot of arabic,muslim men use double standarts,A women should stay pure and virgin but they can mess around,when i ask them if they have the intention to marry the girl mostly they laugh and say no way i will find myself a virgin in my countr.I argue often with them saying non-muslim women have a heart to and that they also have no right to do stuff like that.I have seen so many girls fall in love,even convert only to be left alone after a while.But basicly all men are the same,arabic or not,if they come to you with to mutch blabla forget it,if they want sex forget it,if they dont intreduce you to there family forget it see how they behave with your child,you can see a lot of a men's caracter based on how he treats your child.Now they all can say that the fact that you have a child makes no difference it is not true(see one of the above comments who calls it a mistake in your life without even knowing how or what ).But for a good men that should not be inportant,even the phrophet married a widow,so she was no virgin.If you have a muslimcommunity around you ask your sisters,they should give you advice(my father would now everything about other men and there family,men do gossip alot).Hopefully you find a good men and a good father to your child.



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ladywriter
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Posted on Mon, Mar 05, 2012 14:05

I can only address the first part of your post. As a revert, myself, and having been previously married with children, I had many of the same questions when I first accepted the invitation of Allah (swt) to become a Muslim. I believe question you're posing has to do with the necessity of having someone to be your wali (protector). In Islam, you cannot have a wali to stand in for your father or brother unless that man is not someone who can marry you. However, once a woman has been married and divorced, a wali is not required. It is best, though, to have someone you trust to act on your behalf in asking all the right questions and getting all the right information. You would also need a person to stand for you at the nikah (wedding) ceremony. While it is difficult to find someone to act on your behalf who is non-mahram (not available to you for marriage) to act as a wali, the alternative is to seek a brother to be your wakeel (protecting friend). This person can pose questions to a potential mate that will help you to make a good decision about who you might want to marry. This person should be of impeccable character and understand all the duties of the position. You might go to your Imam and explain the situation. He should know of someone to refer you to.


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becomingoneself
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Posted on Sat, Oct 29, 2011 13:49

Hi Convert, I think I understand your question. Since you are a convert and if you want to marry Islamically properly you will need a guardian (male) related to you who oversees the marriage contract and procedure. Sinec your family is not Muslim, the imam of the mosque or the judge conducting the cermeony can serve this role. It is usually an aministartive matter if you have been married before or if you are over 40, but it depends on the country. nevertheless, it is an issue easily solved. Godd luck in your search sister


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mobaz
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Posted on Thu, Sep 29, 2011 07:21

Your situation should not be a problem. Allah is most mercyful.You just need to find an understanding person. We all make mistakes. All your mistakes are forgiven becuase you chose islam. not all of us are that fortunate. Allah know best.


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Convert2011
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Posted on Sat, Mar 26, 2011 06:09

My family is very distant from me and someone told me that the man asks your family for your hand. If you dont have one....how can he ask? I also am confused about which guys are romantic liars. I love Arab men, they are the most beautiful, but its conflicting about which are serious and which arent because they wont say or do anything to hurt a woman. How do you know which one is serious?


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Shaan89
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Posted on Sun, Mar 20, 2011 03:26

Hi, the fact you have had a child before you converted should make no difference and you shouldn't be treated any different. unsure on what you mean by how you should marry without a family, can you put that into a little more detail what exactly you mean.


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