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Muslim Blogs > Fatima22's blogs > ** MAKING LOVE** without Love ??
** MAKING LOVE** without Love ?? Sort by:
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fatima22
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Posted on Sun, Dec 17, 2006 09:34

A friend called me up at 2am one morning, in tears, after a heated quarrel with her husband. The husband walked out to meet some friends, apparently to cool down.... Then this friend went on lamenting her ill fate to be married to this guy. She repeatedly mentioned that she never loved him FROM DAY ONE of their marriage. Theirs was an arranged marriage. Her parents and in-laws were old friends so they arranged the union for their children. Even her husband had told her that he never loved her neither..... Btw, my friend works as a nurse, been married for more than 10 years to the same guy and she has 4 children with him. I did not voice out my thoughts to my friend as she was already depressed, but later in my mind i was pondering over her statement that ** SHE NEVER LOVED HER HUSBAND FROM DAY ONE OF HER MARRIAGE ** ...but they have 4 children already?! This statement about ** never was in love with the spouse** is something we hear quite often from couples in unhappy marriages. Could this statement be an exageration in moments of anger or is it possible for two people to be **not in love with each other** but mutually agree to produce offsprings..?? I am not married so it is hard for me to rationalise the facts, but i had thought that the resaon they say couples **make love** is because this action results from the existence of ** LOVE ** for each other. Otherwise it would just be a form of rape, lust or mechanical undertaking (yikes! how awful and sad!) And the children??? If they came to know that their parents never loved each other AT ALL, does that mean they were not *** products of love***? Or is it merely that couples forget that they ever loved each other over the course of their marriage, and tend to take each other for granted??


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sahil1111
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Posted on Wed, Jan 03, 2007 09:05

SALAM ALIKUM FATIMA,,,,,,ASSK UR FRIEND TO PRAY TO GOD AND I HOPE SHE WILL GET A BETTER WAY TO SOLVE


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fatima22
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Posted on Mon, Jan 01, 2007 10:49

I think carmel17 explained the issue splendidly. I didn't think of it this way before...but she's right about the difference of loving somebody and ** being in love ** with somebody!


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Lovesense
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Posted on Thu, Dec 21, 2006 05:24

This FALLS under the famous hadith about Prophet Mohammed PBUH saying pointing to group of women .. that most of them will go to hell. When the women were scared and asked the reason to why the women are majority in hell.. He says 'They will complain that they dont get the love even after having many kids' It may mean the women is not really relgious.. or both the man and woman.. Relgion plays a important role in liking or disliking each other's pouse.. Quran says Dont hate your spouse (Wife) even if you dont like few things in her as ALLAH would have made many other things better in her which are good for you... ALLAH knows the best


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joo690
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Posted on Tue, Dec 19, 2006 22:00

i strongly condemn these marriages without the consent of the bride and bridegroom... its just like we are making more ppl offended by each other.. but lov marriages sumtimes also endup like the same ... i only can wish best of luck to every1 out there


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surayya
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Posted on Tue, Dec 19, 2006 13:48

Being in love and making love r indeed very seperate...and somtimes if ur not married I guess it might be like explaining a colour to a blind person in which case..to what avail..and best not to judge..ur doing a great job, just keep lending ur friend an ear..wasalam


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