I have a friend who looks much younger for her age. People often mistook her to be in her 20s even though she is past 30.
She had a colleague who was interested in her and kept trying to date her. Eventually she agreed and they got along well. But on their 5th outing, he discovered that she was 4 years older than him. After that he stopped calling her and avoided to go out with her. When she finally asked him why, he admitted that he was unconmfortable that she was older than him.
Gosh, does the age of the lady really matters to guys? Who set the universal rule that the lady partner should always be younger than the guy ??? Or is it because we often succumb to peer pressure and society's expectations?
I have a friend who looks much younger for her age. People often mistook her to be in her 20s even though she is past 30.
She had a colleague who was interested in her and kept trying to date her. Eventually she agreed and they got along well. But on their 5th outing, he discovered that she was 4 years older than him. After that he stopped calling her and avoided to go out with her. When she finally asked him why, he admitted that he was unconmfortable that she was older than him.
Gosh, does the age of the lady really matters to guys? Who set the universal rule that the lady partner should always be younger than the guy ??? Or is it because we often succumb to peer pressure and society's expectations?
My dear sister Fatima22,it is just a thought but have you considered that the gentleman in question may want to marry in the future and so may have thought that your friend being of a certain age may no longer be of a child bearing age? It's just a thought.The thought of one's partner not being able to conceive could potentially be a major obstacle in a relationship.
Who knows what the real reasons for his re-actions to your friends age were, but whatever the reasons were, only he (and Allah Swt) knows what the truth was.
Take care br
Salaam,
My dear sister Fatima22,it is just a thought but have you considered that the gentleman in question may want to marry in the future and so may have thought that your friend being of a certain age may no longer be of a child bearing age? It's just a thought.The thought of one's partner not being able to conceive could potentially be a major obstacle in a relationship.
Who knows what the real reasons for his re-actions to your friends age were, but whatever the reasons were, only he (and Allah Swt) knows what the truth was.
So it all boils down to the person's Attitude, irrespective of his/her age...
But this is the problem....How does one educate a person on matters of Attitudes?
I find paper qualifications to be a poor yardstick because i have met graduates with degrees so manisfested that reading those abbreviations in their curriculum vitae can be so baffling....yet they can be so daft, backward, immature and spineless.
Then there are those who may not have even achieved proper schooling, but they are so appealing, genial and understanding.
Is this due to the poor education system of the country? Poor parental guidance? Peer pressure? Social environment?
Personally, i believe that wherever we come from.. country, family background, education system, etc... a healthy attitude is self attainable. It begins with ourselves... we must make the conscious effort to constantly, observe, analyse and correct ourselves. Emulate the good... discard the bad. We must also be honest about ourselves in the first place in order to change ourselves... Like the lyrics of a song: I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror; I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways....
Hmm...I should say there is no expiry date of the heart. Just an expiry STATE of the heart....
When it functions merely as an organ for survival.
Salams bro ajjubaba
So it all boils down to the person's Attitude, irrespective of his/her age...
But this is the problem....How does one educate a person on matters of Attitudes?
I find paper qualifications to be a poor yardstick because i have met graduates with degrees so manisfested that reading those abbreviations in their curriculum vitae can be so baffling....yet they can be so daft, backward, immature and spineless.
Then there are those who may not have even achieved proper schooling, but they are so appealing, genial and understanding.
Is this due to the poor education system of the country? Poor parental guidance? Peer pressure? Social environment?
Personally, i believe that wherever we come from.. country, family background, education system, etc... a healthy attitude is self attainable. It begins with ourselves... we must make the conscious effort to constantly, observe, analyse and correct ourselves. Emulate the good... discard the bad.
We must also be honest about ourselves in the first place in order to change ourselves... Like the lyrics of a song: I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror; I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways....
Hmm...I should say there is no expiry date of the heart. Just an expiry STATE of the heart....
When it functions merely as an organ for survival.
assalaamalicum. elpaco. thankz alot for replying to my problem,,inshallah if i want any advise i will contact u through this site for advise. takecare allahhafiz
assalaamalicum.
elpaco.
thankz alot for replying to my problem,,inshallah if i want any advise i will contact u through this site for advise.
takecare
allahhafiz
assalaamalicum fatima. i have one problem,,i always get snakes in my dream when i dont remember ALLAH and sleep in night time,,why what does it mean? do u know anything about dreams?does it mean some danger?
assalaamalicum fatima.
i have one problem,,i always get snakes in my dream when i dont remember ALLAH and sleep in night time,,why what does it mean?
do u know anything about dreams?does it mean some danger?
(Again i apologise for my reply in english as i am unable to express myself well in malay...)
Now that you mentioned it, i guess you have a point in saying that if the female was older than the male and she achieved her menopausal state while the male is still at his active stage, problems may arise in the relationship. So that is why there is a general consensus that the males prefer their female partners to be younger.
But then, we should not forget that it works both ways....
What if the the young wife is still active and the husband who is older, finds difficulty keeping up with her needs? Same scenario...
What most men do not realise (or perhaps they refuse to acknowledge the fact..) is that they too will undergo "menopause". This is known as "Andropause". (Different name calling but similar symptoms...)
The reason some people are not familiar with the term "Andropause" is because the female menopause is accorded more "publicity" whilst the male andropause is kept low-keyed (Emm... could it be due to the males' conspiracy?!)
So for the case of my friend mentioned, i still feel it is unjustified for the guy to use the age difference as an excuse to stop dating her. If it were about the difference in the maturity and mentality of the lady, these reasons i can accept. But to merely state that the older age of the lady makes him uncomfortable...... then he is soooo much governed by the misguided society!
(Again i apologise for my reply in english as i am unable to express myself well in malay...)
Now that you mentioned it, i guess you have a point in saying that if the female was older than the male and she achieved her menopausal state while the male is still at his active stage, problems may arise in the relationship. So that is why there is a general consensus that the males prefer their female partners to be younger.
But then, we should not forget that it works both ways....
What if the the young wife is still active and the husband who is older, finds difficulty keeping up with her needs? Same scenario...
What most men do not realise (or perhaps they refuse to acknowledge the fact..) is that they too will undergo "menopause". This is known as "Andropause". (Different name calling but similar symptoms...)
The reason some people are not familiar with the term "Andropause" is because the female menopause is accorded more "publicity" whilst the male andropause is kept low-keyed (Emm... could it be due to the males' conspiracy?!)
So for the case of my friend mentioned, i still feel it is unjustified for the guy to use the age difference as an excuse to stop dating her. If it were about the difference in the maturity and mentality of the lady, these reasons i can accept. But to merely state that the older age of the lady makes him uncomfortable...... then he is soooo much governed by the misguided society!
Emm kesian , tetapi sekurang-kurangnya dia tidak dipermainkan lagi teruk. Org tu ikhlas nak mencari bukan cari musuh. So si dia ni tau masalah umur , so lain kali lebih bersedia . Nak marah masyarakat pun tak guna sebab terdapat alasannya tersendiri contohnya kalau org tu dah putus asa awal bayangkan jika ianya berlaku setelah si perempuan (maaf) monopous, lelaki selalunya ada saje alasannya jika nak buat hal
Emm kesian , tetapi sekurang-kurangnya dia tidak dipermainkan lagi teruk. Org tu ikhlas nak mencari bukan cari musuh. So si dia ni tau masalah umur , so lain kali lebih bersedia . Nak marah masyarakat pun tak guna sebab terdapat alasannya tersendiri contohnya kalau org tu dah putus asa awal bayangkan jika ianya berlaku setelah si perempuan (maaf) monopous, lelaki selalunya ada saje alasannya jika nak buat hal
Build your Muslim dating site / affiliate
