It was my mother's turn to host the Thanksgiving Dinner for her siblings but her maid had to take an urgent leave. She then asked me to help her out.
Even though i no longer celebrate Thanksgiving since reverting to Islam, i agreed to help (welll, she is my mum after all!!) on condition that there were no pork dishes in the preparations and that i did not have to attend the dinner gathering and meet all the relatives, who no doubt will feel awkward in my presence.
While preparing the dish
more...It was my mother's turn to host the Thanksgiving Dinner for her siblings but her maid had to take an urgent leave. She then asked me to help her out.
Even though i no longer celebrate Thanksgiving since reverting to Islam, i agreed to help (welll, she is my mum after all!!) on condition that there were no pork dishes in the preparations and that i did not have to attend the dinner gathering and meet all the relatives, who no doubt will feel awkward in my presence.
While preparing the dishes with my mum, she started telling me about how her mum, and even her grandmother, used to do them and how she felt it was important to preserve the family traditions. She then hinted about me.. that it was a pity i have decided to go away from the "family path" by becoming a muslim and discarded the family traditions.
I couldn't help myself and asked her if one should keep the family traditions even if they were not correct. But being old and having an unchangeable mindset, my mum replied that even if I managed to convince her about Islam, she would still not forsake her family traditions.
I could go on arguing with her but then i thought about the story of our Prophet's uncle. How even at his deathbed, Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) made great efforts to get his uncle to say the Shahahdah but without success, because his uncle chose to stick to his family's tradtions and beliefs.
So who am i, then, to be able to change my mum's insistence to adhere to her family traditions?
However, i am fooling myself if i say i did not feel a liitle sad for not being able to be included in the family gathering. There were times i missed my relatives. It is never the same any more whenever we meet. Despite much efforts, there exist still a barrier between them & me. I used to be close to my cousins but some of my aunts & uncles do not like me to mix too closely with their children now as they are afraid i may "influence" them towards Islam.
The loneliness and sadness are worse during the Islamic festivals. Yes, i always have friends around who never fail to ask me to join their families but it is still not the same.
Seeing them shed tears when they ask for forgiveness from their parents and siblings, especially at Ramadhan, i cry in my heart and silently ask my mum to forgive me for not being able to join her in her christian celebrations the way she wants me to. I know she misses me. I too miss her during my Islamic celebrations. And after the Eid prayers in the mornings, muslims go back home to await their visitors, i go back home to catch up on my nap! My Tradition!
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