Muslim dating   FREE Sign up   Sign in   Search   Blog / Forum   Help / Faq  
 
Muslim Blogs > Fatima22's blogs > Die Hard Traditions....
Die Hard Traditions.... Sort by:
Author
fatima22
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 319
Posted on Fri, Mar 21, 2008 12:47

It was my mother's turn to host the Thanksgiving Dinner for her siblings but her maid had to take an urgent leave. She then asked me to help her out. Even though i no longer celebrate Thanksgiving since reverting to Islam, i agreed to help (welll, she is my mum after all!!) on condition that there were no pork dishes in the preparations and that i did not have to attend the dinner gathering and meet all the relatives, who no doubt will feel awkward in my presence. While preparing the dishes with my mum, she started telling me about how her mum, and even her grandmother, used to do them and how she felt it was important to preserve the family traditions. She then hinted about me.. that it was a pity i have decided to go away from the "family path" by becoming a muslim and discarded the family traditions. I couldn't help myself and asked her if one should keep the family traditions even if they were not correct. But being old and having an unchangeable mindset, my mum replied that even if I managed to convince her about Islam, she would still not forsake her family traditions. I could go on arguing with her but then i thought about the story of our Prophet's uncle. How even at his deathbed, Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) made great efforts to get his uncle to say the Shahahdah but without success, because his uncle chose to stick to his family's tradtions and beliefs. So who am i, then, to be able to change my mum's insistence to adhere to her family traditions? However, i am fooling myself if i say i did not feel a liitle sad for not being able to be included in the family gathering. There were times i missed my relatives. It is never the same any more whenever we meet. Despite much efforts, there exist still a barrier between them & me. I used to be close to my cousins but some of my aunts & uncles do not like me to mix too closely with their children now as they are afraid i may "influence" them towards Islam. The loneliness and sadness are worse during the Islamic festivals. Yes, i always have friends around who never fail to ask me to join their families but it is still not the same. Seeing them shed tears when they ask for forgiveness from their parents and siblings, especially at Ramadhan, i cry in my heart and silently ask my mum to forgive me for not being able to join her in her christian celebrations the way she wants me to. I know she misses me. I too miss her during my Islamic celebrations. And after the Eid prayers in the mornings, muslims go back home to await their visitors, i go back home to catch up on my nap! My Tradition!


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
fatima22
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 319
Posted on Mon, Jun 23, 2008 11:15

Hi sherynne You understand well when you said that my mother would appreciate my presence during family gatherings.. this is what she has been lamenting about me. I agree that keeping family ties is important. Islam teaches us this... In fact my mum had mentioned to our relatives that the good part about me being a muslim is that i keep in touch with her more often now than previously. I do not preach Islam to my mum. We both have have come to an understanding that i do not doctrine her in Islam and she would not nag at me about the christian faith. Yes, i just try to relate by way of actions ...according to the Islamic Teachings....


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
fatima22
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 319
Posted on Mon, Jun 23, 2008 11:05

To answer the question from green567 : No, i do not celebrate Christmas for the mere fact that i do not believe in the concept that he is the son of god... That is one of the reasons i could not continue in the Christian Faith and reverted to Islam.


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
fatima22
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 319
Posted on Mon, Jun 23, 2008 10:59

Hi Nasah thank you for your words of encouragement...


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
green567
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 7
Posted on Thu, Jun 12, 2008 05:03

Just one question :Do U still take part in the holiday called Chrismas ? Cause there be a lot of muslims that do and that s not really right of them to . Its the fact that we view it as jesus who is to us gods son ,well his brith day, but the bible doesn't say.


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
sheryne
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 20
Posted on Wed, Jun 11, 2008 10:01

I think it is alright for you to still join in your family gatherings, if your intention is to spend time with them (keep the ties). Recently, I was introduced to a 16-year-old girl (my cousin's classmate). She heard about Islam early this year and reverted somewhere in Feb/Mac. I really admire her. Within a week of declaring her faith, she is already able to do the daily prayers. She is in the same predicament as you, only that she comes from a Buddhist family. The reason why her parents, especially her mother, objected to her conversion is because they are afraid she would start to drift apart from the family... I think that is the biggest misconception non-Muslims have about Islam - it breaks family members up. So please. Keep your family ties. You don't always have to tell your mother about the beauties of Islam. Your actions would speak louder than your words. I think your mother would appreciate your presence during family gatherings. Allah knows best.


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
sheryne
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 20
Posted on Wed, Jun 11, 2008 10:01

I think it is alright for you to still join in your family gatherings, if your intention is to spend time with them (keep the ties). Recently, I was introduced to a 16-year-old girl (my cousin's classmate). She heard about Islam early this year and reverted somewhere in Feb/Mac. I really admire her. Within a week of declaring her faith, she is already able to do the daily prayers. She is in the same predicament as you, only that she comes from a Buddhist family. The reason why her parents, especially her mother, objected to her conversion is because they are afraid she would start to drift apart from the family... I think that is the biggest misconception non-Muslims have about Islam - it breaks family members up. So please. Keep your family ties. You don't always have to tell your mother about the beauties of Islam. Your actions would speak louder than your words. I think your mother would appreciate your presence during family gatherings. Allah knows best.


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
Siniram
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 13
Posted on Mon, Apr 07, 2008 08:54

I am really sad to hear this ........My family did this to me and not because of the religion issues but because I fell in love with someone who was not from my country .........so for the past 3 years over course of the time we grew more and more distant. About a year ago I moved out on my own ......and yes my family still visited me but never without reminding me of what a mistake I am making being with someone who is not from my country........and now that I am not with him no longer they cannot avoid saying "I told you so" even though for me it did not matter where he was from as long as he was a muslim and goood in heart ......nothing else, not his financial standing,family name, car he drove or any of that nosense .......I just cared about his heart .......Ultimately yes I made a mistake of trusting a wrong person .........but I dont think I made this mistake because he was from the different country. I do miss my family also the way it was before ........many times I feel like I need someone to talk to .....yet for the most part I am all alone .....so I know how u feel Fatima. Its a shame that families cant get pass these issue honestly they should love your for who u truly are and if you chose to be a muslim or any other religion out there than that is who you are .......all I can do is pray for you my dear and hope it will get better ...... Take Care of yourself salam


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
Follow - Email me when people comment