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Muslim Blogs > Fatima22's blogs > How do we please our mother's heart?
How do we please our mother's heart? Sort by:
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fatima22
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Posted on Wed, Jan 10, 2007 09:10

My aunt passed away recently. To the obvious surprise of my relatives, I attended the funeral ceremony. I could even see the surpprise in the face of the priest who conducted the mass. He must have been distracted, seeing a hijab wearing lady in church! I sat towards the back of the church throughout the whole ritual and was not the least bit disturbed by the stares from those in church. But what disturbed me was the statement from my mother. When i approached to comfort her, she said to me, ** At times like these, I wonder about my own fate. Who will pray and arrange my funeral for me when i die?! ** My parents are divorced. I have an adopted brother who since his marriage, did not bother much about my mum. I am her only daughter but she had not been pleased about my reverting to islam. And though i have tried, my mum had clearly told me off before that she will always keep her christian faith. I did not respond to my mum when she made the above statement to me at the funeral. I just remianed silent. But my heart is saddened for my mum. How disappointed she is in me......how lonely she feels.......how i wish i could make her happy......


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1Jewel
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Posted on Wed, May 09, 2007 03:14

salaam Talibul - good comments, very true.. but please end your sentences with a full stop, use spaces and paragaraphs.. just to make it easier to read - shukran. Fatima: 1. yes - you cannot make dua after a disbelieving parent dies - e.g. look into the story of ebrahim alayhi salaam who wanted to pray for his father, and Allah's response to that. 2. the time for dua adn kindness is now, while mum still alive. yes, she is amongst the disbelievers, but she is still your mother and warrants that respect, kindness, care. Naturally whatever she proposes outsided fo shariah should eb disregarded... but in a kind adn gentle way, without using hurtful words. 3. then all you can do is put your trust in Allah subhana wa ta'Ala that HE makes it easy for you. trust me i do know how difficult it must be for you, especially your words >>> How disappointed she is in me......how lonely she feels.......how i wish i could make her happy......<<< i feel it too. there is a hadith wherein our duty to our mother is 3 times more superior to our fathers. but take comfort in knowing that >>1>> our duty to Allah and His rasool, follwing the shariah takes precedence.. >>2>> "Allah is with the patient" - surah Baqarah - what more can we ask for than the PRESENCE of teh ALMIGHTY CREATOR in our lives, esp. in times of our grief >>3>> "on no soul does Allah place a burden greater than it has te strength to bear." - also verse from teh Quaran. be strong my sister. May Allah make our trials easy for all of us. Ameen Ameen


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Posted on Fri, Feb 09, 2007 09:34

Fatima u can visit her grave or pray for her in no way its bad so :) be happy:D I so wish that u whould be happy:)


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revoed_NURFITRAH
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Posted on Tue, Jan 30, 2007 08:15

Assalamualaikum, Sister, continue to be kind to the parents whether they are muslims or non-muslims. Kind and obey both have the different meanings....... and in Islam the word obey has limit and reasonings........ Insya'Allah I will try to make blog regarding about this issue, comment from imam........if I have the time, Insya'Allah........just a matter of time and will from Allah........


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fatima22
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Posted on Mon, Jan 29, 2007 05:21

wa'alaikum salam bro talibulislam Thank you for your words of comfort and for sharing your knowledge. You have a way of looking things out of the box and viewing a situation from both sides of the angle, and yet creating awareness of the reality and limitations of today's world. Jazakumullahu Khaire


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talibulislam
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Posted on Sat, Jan 27, 2007 08:34

asallamoalikum sis,its a hadith that if u put laillahillallah on side of the weight & put the whole universe & every thing in it on other side,it will out weight every thing.imagine about the person who believe in kalimah,how heavy & high he could b in sight of Allah,your feelings r natural but in your heart u know what u gaining after this sacrifice,we as born Muslim don't go through the way reverts go through,prophet Muhammad saww might has same feelings,whole family,love ones,whole tribe there culture,tradition,faith on one side & prophet saww cz of his kalimah on one side alone,that sacrifice & sadness in your heart might put u in a place where no born Muslim like us can imagine or reach in sight of Allah swt,what u think why no matter what we do we cannot replace the sahabahs?what ever sahabah did & sacrifice & after the way they stand firm,we now days cant even bear the friction of it & Allah knows about us so he don't even test us more then our abilities & those abilities r no where close to those who were promise junnah in there life time by Allah swt.may Allah keep us on imaan & take us on imaan insh'allah


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fatima22
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Posted on Wed, Jan 24, 2007 10:13

Assalamualaikum Bro. talibulislam, u are right when u said u know it hurt me the most & that i am looking for some satisfying answer..... How i wish there was! I was trying to imagine what it would be like if my own child were to disappoint me like how i seem to be doing to my mother now.....she bore me, nurtured me, had so much hopes for me and the end result, i could not repay her in the way that means so much to her. It hurts to be grateful to her but unable to show my appreciation in the way that pleases her most. The hurt cuts deep when she relates how she spends christmas without her loved ones! She feels so alone and no feeling of festivity as i am no longer around to help her in the christmas preparations and celebrate with her. i do pray constanlty that Allah swt would give her hidayat too but if it is not willed so, i sincerely hope He would somehow be kind to her for all her deeds to me as a mother who raised and educated me. Those who are born muslims should realise how fortunate you are that you have your family with you. They should be treasured and appreciated. No matter how close a friend may be to you, nothing beats the cherished moments of the growing times with your parents and siblings.


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talibulislam
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Posted on Mon, Jan 22, 2007 20:41

asallamoalikum,don't know where quran pacifically say about not to pray for nonmuslim,but quran is clear about kufar & Islam,die in the form of imann,believe in laillahillallah or in the form of denying,denying laillahillallah muhammadurassolallah is like denying the truth,prophet Muhammad saww closes relation,u have whole surah AL-masad,about his uncle abu lahab & his whole family will burn in blazing fire,his grand father abu mutalib who love him the most,kufar respect him cz he was the host for kabah & allah swt show his miricle defending kabah 55days b4 the birth of our prophet saww which is mention in surah al-fil,his uncle abu talib defend him against every one but refused the dawah of prophet saww,told him that we know u r right but we cannot change the religion of our forfathers & your grandfather so prophet saww couldn't save him,Allah just didn't have hidaya for them.the reason u call your self revert CZ every one born Muslim,after quran & sunnah those who r in denial & die in that form there is no duah is going to benefit them,only in Islam when we make duah for those who died already benefit them CZ they opened up the account with Allah so duah still goes in there savings accounts,i know it hurt u the most & u r looking for some satisfying answer but Allah guides whom he wills, one of the example is your self despite born in the nonmuslim family allah made it easy for u to accept the truth,we don't reason with allah or why,never lose hope in the mercy of Allah swt,if Allah has guidance for your family & friends they will going to say shahada even at the last min insh'allah


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fatima22
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Posted on Mon, Jan 22, 2007 06:22

asalamualikum Someone mentioned that as muslims we cannot pray for our non muslim parents after their death or visit their graves?. Is this true? And if it is, can anyone plse inform know where it can be found in the Quran or if there is a hadith on this? thans & salams


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talibulislam
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Posted on Sun, Jan 21, 2007 18:29

asallamoalikum,u defiantly in tough situation,best thing u can do is stay quite,so if u feel like u can't heal at least u r not going to hurt anyone,may Allah solve your problem & give your family a true understanding of Islam insh'allah


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fatima22
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Posted on Fri, Jan 12, 2007 14:04

Assalamualikum bro muhammad hanif, Thank you for praying for me. I have also prayed that Allah, the Exalted, by His Mercy, would assist you in your misery and grant you relief soon. Alhamdullilah that despite your misery, you have not foresaken your trust in Allah swt. The Prophet (pbuh) said: ** And know that what has befallen you was not going to miss you, and that which missed you was not meant to befall you ** And Allah swt has said: ** And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to the patient ones. ** (Qur'an 2:155) Be patient dear brother. For surely your sufferings and your devotion to Allah, The Almighty, will be rewarded abundantly.


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romeo_need_juliot
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Posted on Fri, Jan 12, 2007 11:27

Dear Sister Fatima I appriciate Your love with your mom and Islam as well, It is A hadith that heaven is hidden under the feet of mother, so you have to take care of the desires of your mother, on the contrary being a new muslim you have so convince your mom, I have a suggeston if you take some time to motivate your mom with polite way. it is not difficult that she agree with you. you have to give refrences of Quran and hadeeth through our bible etc. But at the end my request is that plz pray for me as I m passing through a miserable life. I ve just started to pray for you to get success in your mission , and I hope one your mom will agree with you and will accept Islam. wish you best ofluck . I assure you that you will get reward. plz pray for me . Muhammad hanif


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