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Love Excuses Religious Laws..... Sort by:
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fatima22
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Posted on Thu, Jun 07, 2007 10:10

There is this practising muslim guy who is madly in love with a non practising muslim girl. He knows her inclinations are wrong, like her way of dressing, her dream to be a succesfu model, her love dancing, her free mixing with male collleagues, her party goings, her off and on praying habits, etc, but he cannot help it as he is so much in love with her. They plan to get married in about 4 years time when they will be financially stable and she promised to change after they are married.......to wear the hijab, quit dancing, modelling, etc. She explains that she just wanted to enjoy the single lifestyle and pursue her dreams before she gives them all up for him when she becomes his wife... The guy is so much in love with her that he is willing to tolerate all these. The family members of the guy are unhappy with this girl and worried for him. But all their advice to the guy are heedless. He tells his family that he is constantly praying for her so he is sure the girl will keep her promise. In the meantime he believes he should support her pursue her dreams and aspirations. How does one handle such a situation? How is it that guys when they are in love, could compromise to accept their girls behaving wrongly for fear that if they put their foot down, they will lose their girls?


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ZANDABEEL
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Posted on Tue, Jul 03, 2007 08:52

As-salaamu 'alaykum, I see. It should not be discouraging, though. It teaches you the level of hypocrisy around, that people change, that they are not the same and one-levelled, that your assessment of people accordingly varies and goes through revisions, that you have to constantly be on the look out for the tricks of the self and that there should be consistency of faith and practice and consistency of growth in Deen and life, so many wonderful lessons for you to draw from it and better yourself, which ultimately is what matters to you.


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fatima22
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Posted on Mon, Jul 02, 2007 16:04

Aslmkm Firstly, before further misunderstandings arise, think i better clarify that the girl is a muslim (not a non muslim as some gathered). She is only not practising her faith properly in that she does not bother about praying or wearing hijab or physical contacts with guys etc....as a muslim, she is only careful about eating halal food and avoiding alcohol... Secondly, to answer the question: "why should something happening to such a person be motivationally discouraging to one like you? Well, this guy was an ex colleague and previously i used to admire his dedicated islamic practices. I learnt quite a lot about Islam from him too. Being the eldest in the family, he was also very strict with his sisters, correcting them in their dressings and their behaviours and checking the friends they mixed with, especially after their father passed away. However, since he fell in love with the girl, he excused the very things that he disallowed for his sisters !! His mother is worried that if this continues, the girl is going to be included into the family and it would be a bad influence to her daughters and he would also lose control of correcting his sisters as his own wife defies the islamic codes... It is motivationally discouraging to discover that his pactice is now different from what he preached. He disallows his siters to date or go out of the house in improper attires but he excuses himself when he is dating his girl and accepting her dressing in the latest fashion and induging in modern dancing and supporting her dream to be a model...


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todeh1983
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Posted on Mon, Jul 02, 2007 05:15

But people can change. The woman may in fact be influenced by her husband and wish to do the correct thing. My sister in law changed after marriage and she was a Christian. All it took was for my brother to explain why it was better for her to cover more of herself. Why it was upsetting to mix with the other sex, he did this by turning the tables and asking her, "how would it feel if it were me and you saw me talking with ... ect" Perhaps this was Allah's way of changing this woman.


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sammaa
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Posted on Sun, Jul 01, 2007 02:16

If he marries and make her a truely muslim before she dies, it will be a big work.


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ZANDABEEL
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Posted on Fri, Jun 29, 2007 23:23

As-salaamu 'alaykum, why should something happening to such a person be motivationally discouraging to one like you? `Ahmad


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sendkush
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Posted on Thu, Jun 28, 2007 22:36

Assalamu ALaikum Guys r madly in love with girls till they get married..this is the fact which no married lovers can deny..may be some are excluded.. but regarding this guy who is in luv with a non muslim girl,he liked that girl for the way she is.and after marriage if she is willing to change her habbits for that guys that is ofcourse love. but that girl cannnot be considerd as a muslim becoz a muslim is one who loves Allah swt and his messenger SAW more than anything in this world.. in this case if they r getting married also it is not considered as a islamic maariage. living with a non muslim is HARAM. Frankly speaking that guy should make that girl understand that ISLAM is a beautiful religion. she should love ALLAH SWT in a way that every MUSLIM loves ALLAH SWT. unless and untill she believes islam she cannot be a gud wife. Insha Allah god should help that guy for convert his lover to islam..


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talibulislam
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Posted on Tue, Jun 19, 2007 08:25

sister as we know that prophet moses(pbuh)used to have conversation with allah swt,how? in what form?none of us know. once prophet moses(pbuh)ask allah swt,why beliver have so much suffering compare to nonbeliver in this duniya?allah swt reply look at your right & show him the glimpse of junnah,prophet(pbuh)replied on the name of allah,whos hands is my life,if u take all the body parts of beliver & make him walk with his nose all his life on this earth & at the end,this is what he gets,wallahi he seen no suffering.then allah swt show him the glimpse of jahannam on his left & he replied same & said if u get all the luxuries of this life,kingdome of this earth till the earth ends but after u endup in jahannam,wallahi u seen no comfort.once hadrat ummer (ra)saw the mark on the back of prophet muhammad saws which was cause by sleeping over ruff date rugs & tears came to his eyes,to sum it up prophet replied dont u think its better?roman & persian enjoy this luxury & we enjoy here after,which is perminent & better,its very simple thing to understand but as quran say over an over this world is delusion,some one tell u stay hungery today & after that i will give u free food all your life,what u think we would do?we r lost & confuse only mercy of allah swt can guide us & bring us back where we supose to b insh'allah


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ZANDABEEL
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Posted on Fri, Jun 15, 2007 06:12

As-salaamu 'alaykum, because only Allah is Perfect Good. So good people are blessed with good and afflicted with bad like sickness, people's harm, etc, or afflicted with their good qualities and blessed with harm & evil, for they are the 2 sides of the same coin. It's the natural balance of His Sunnah in creation, "fa`inna ma`a'l-'usri yusran". `Ahmad


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talibulislam
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Posted on Thu, Jun 14, 2007 19:55

well sister,thats where our deen comes in to save us from the suffering of duniya,its saying one sajdah saves u from million sajdahs(mean when u bow in front of god with pure heart once,u dont bow just for your needs to every one)in quran for pious women r pious man & same as other wayaround,then order for belivers keep your gaze lower,keeping your gaze lower formula apply on every thing,even when u see a beautiful house or beautiful car just say mash'allah & turn your eyes,so just like looking at the women gets u out of control,looking at the things can get u out of control too,who ever that brother is,he broke one tiny little rule & now he is on the mercy of his desires,once your desires get out of control then your mind gets out,once mind gets out then actions get out of control,now its hard for him to turn back or put his foot down but good thing he said that he made duah,duah is very strong thing,it can change any impossible into possible.some one told me,correct me if am wrong,in arabic heart we call qulb & qulb mean forget,if allah swt didn't have that quality in our heart we would never forget pain,so my advise to him is that stop looking at her & make duah,with the time he is gona feel that he dont miss her that strong & after few months may b,hes gona notice that her face is fading away in his mind & soon finish insh'allah,me personally have seen so many things coming back when u don't need them anymore,may allah swt help him & all of us in our problems insh'allah


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fatima22
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Posted on Thu, Jun 14, 2007 04:41

Assalamualaykum Or to quote a familiar expression: "Why do bad things happen to good people...?" Incidents like these can easily be quite discouraging to motivate the purpose for holding on to what is taught and what is felt....


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ZANDABEEL
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Posted on Tue, Jun 12, 2007 11:37

As-salaamu 'alaykum, or to put it like Peter Gabriel sang (not all he said is wrong): "You've got to get in to get out." `Ahmad


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ZANDABEEL
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Posted on Sat, Jun 09, 2007 11:02

As-salaamu 'alaykum, `cause love is blind. Nothing 4 u to advise there. And besides, who can say that in truth he's not precisely attracted to that type of woman? `Ahmad


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