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fatima22
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Posted on Wed, Sep 05, 2007 10:44

I read a quote: "Faults are thick when love is thin", and I wonder why this is so, especially in Marriages..... Why does love thin out after marriage? Most couples are so madly in love before marriage, that the faults of their loved ones are usually tolerable. Why, then, are the same faults intolerable after marriage? I have seen couples who are so madly in love with each other that when you are with them, nothing gives them greater pleasure than to constantly talk about the strengths and virtues of their partners. Meet the same couples some years after marriage and most of what you would then hear would be the weaknesses or vices of their partners! It is rare indeed to see old couples still holding hands with each other or talking affectionally to one another in public. If this is the general outcome of marriages, it is no wonder that there are some who fear to take that giant step into marriage. What would you say, is/are the missing ingredient/s to sustain the sparkle in marriage?


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fatima22
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Posted on Fri, Sep 07, 2007 11:56

wa'alaikum salam I guess in the beginning stages, couples try to impress each other in order to be desired by the other. Later when they are married, they feel it is no longer necessary to do so, as they have 'caught' their object of desire ......and this is a real shame. I should think that one of the vital ingredients to sustain an exciting marriage is APPRECIATION. Appreciation works both ways: If we are constantly appreciative of what our spouse does for us, even for the smallest things like a smile or a thoughtful gesture, we will always feel grateful towards him or her and their faults would often be overlooked. And when our spouse notices our appreciation, it should make them feel good and motivated to want to continue or even increase their kind gestures and attention towards us. If this can prevail throughout the daily lives of the couples, surely the sparkle in marriages will not fizzle out. But alas, perhaps couples tend to ignore the importance of appreciation and simply take each other for granted after marriage.....


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shabykhan
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Posted on Fri, Sep 07, 2007 02:24

salam dear, i read your qoute today it really surprised me. if you want further details


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ameenah1952
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Posted on Wed, Sep 05, 2007 22:10

as-salaam alaikum sister I find that a lot of the time brothers and or sisters are not 100% honest when first talking and meeting. And I myself have find being married more than once as a muslim female, brother s on the web-site are not honest after being married for a short time the true person come out. And sometime you can not handle the other personality, once you are some brother fill now I have be happy with what I dish out or you will go to the hell fire. I find that to be so sad to me for someone to switch up like that do not fear allah because he see and know all. Ameenah


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