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Posted on Jan 05, 2008 at 12:25 PM

Someone i know, who btw was a divorcee and had recently remarried, was trying to match me up with his friend. Apparently his friend had seen me and had asked him to arrange our meeting. My reply was negative but this guy kept pestering. Then what blew me off was when he said that he never fails to carry out an "Amanah" (Trust) and this is an "Amanah' that he intends to fulfill for his friend. AMANAH(Trust)..Yes, there are often widespread teachings about this topic. That it is something a Muslim should not take lightly. However i feel that people tend to overlook to apply this teaching when it comes to marriages, and worse still, if divorce followed up! During the weddings, irrespective of the religion, the gist of the marriage vows would usually go along the lines of the couples declaring that they would be faithful to each other, take care of each other, to have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do they part, etc, etc, etc. This declaration, is it not done in the presence of so many witnesses at the wedding? Is this not an "Amanah" that has been declared? Then what happens after that?? How did some marriages end so badly? Most likely it was due to either one or both parties failing to keep the Amanah. Where is the trust and effort to be faithful, to care, to love, cherish and comfort each other, to have and to hold each other for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer?? In the course of caring, comforting, cherishing etc, when one partner is angry, is it not an Amanah for the other to appease the anger or for the angry one to see if he/she was wrong in being angry? When one is in the wrong, is it not an Amanah to correct the wrong or accept to be corrected by the other? Is it not an Amanah to keep the love alive in the marriage? If money is the root of the problem, is it not an Amanah to find solutions, give support, encouragement to each other morally, emotionally, practically? I am not accusing just the husbands or just the wives. The Amanah of keeping a marriage exciting, romantic, blissful, intact.. falls equally on both parties. It requires sincere efforts, forgiveness, kindness, mutual respect. It takes two to clap, two to tango. It takes water to douse the fire, not fuel to feed the fire. We take pains to be courteous, grateful, tolerant and generous with our praises to friends, clients, business associates, outsiders.. but often we take our spouses, children, family members for granted. To me, this is exercising Wrong Priorities... Misplaced Amanah... Misplaced Trust...this is what i told my divorced parents too.. to me, they mocked the vows they took at their wedding...

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