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fatima22
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Posted on Tue, Sep 18, 2007 06:55

I appreciate good food and I enjoy cooking. Only problem is I live alone and there is so much that I can eat by myself. But during Ramadhan, I usually bake or cook slightly more and would send some to a couple of my friends and neighbours. I have a new neighbour and I like playing with their young children. This is their first Ramadhan in the neighbourhood and I had included them in the list of whom I would send some of the dishes for their breaking fast. My intentions were purely in the spirit of Ramadhan, but yesterday I was surprised to discover that this action of mine was not welcomed. The wife sent the cakes and food back to me and accused me of "wrecking" her marriage. Apparently her husband enjoyed my food and kept asking her why she cannot cook as well, and she gets very sensitive about this and they even end up quarrelling. The sad part is that she even accused me of trying to show off my culinary skills and incinuate that I may have intentions of seducing her husband!! Despite my assurance that I had no ulterior motives, nor do I have any interest in her husband and that I was even prepared to give her the recipes if it would help, she still continued to accuse me of being brazen. Mashaallah! It never crossed my mind that such a reaction was even possible! So I am now sharing this experience in the hope of enlightening both the ladies and the guys: Ladies, beware that such an unimaginable misunderstanding can occur.... And Guys, beware not to praise the cooking of another lady in front of your wives!! A reminder too that whatever success we may have, the credit is not actually ours to claim because they were made possible by Allah, the Exalted. All praises are rightly due to Him, and that is why we should remember to say ..... Alhamdulillah!


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nadirah1972
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Posted on Sun, Nov 11, 2007 21:32

Assalamualaikum sis Fatima, wish u are living close to me, i would love to learn baking from you. Cooking and when giving it to someone else and watch the smile on their face is always a heartwarming experiences.. May ALLAH blessed u always.Amin.


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fatima22
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Posted on Thu, Oct 11, 2007 10:38

Salams to all, Thanks guys, for your words of console and encouragement. Well, no longer am I gonna let her reaction disturb me, especially in such a blessed month as Ramadan. Most important is that my conscience is clear and I just keep away from the family, though I still smile and say hello to the children when I see them playing at the corridor. Anyway, am taking this opportunity to wish you all Eid Mubarak!! May Allah forgive our sins, accept our fasting and our duas, and make us better muslims. And may He also aid and comfort those who are oppressed for the mere reason of declaring that there is no god but Allah, the Exalted, and that Muhammad (pbuh)is His Prophet!!!!


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JeNnaa
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Posted on Tue, Oct 02, 2007 23:23

Assalammualaikum fatima22 wow.. how i wish i am your neighbor- free food especially i love cakes. Lol Well, u have a very good intention always but its a human nature for a wife to be jealous of you that her husband give such comments. what u can do next time is just to be more careful, aware and beware before u take any steps- u may have good intentions but not much people will understand your intentions and most of the time they will think that u are up to something else which this is nature for most people especially you are single, young and with career.- which women/wife is not jealous rite? *never mind, next time u send the food to my house in case of this happen- such a waste to throw rite. lol


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fatima22
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Posted on Thu, Sep 20, 2007 13:34

Assalaamu'alaikum Appreciate your advice. Yep, good idea that maybe I should do just that: Just offer an opening dish. LOL! About the listening ear.... believe me, that is what I usually do and then they will keep coming back to eagerly update, so it is hard to just avoid any suggestions for solutions. I sometimes overlook that being single can sometimes give a wrong perception to others. Some look at me with pity that I have still not found a husband; others think I may be desperate to find one! Being the only child in the family and with a career where I often have to travel, have perhaps made me assertive at times (sigh! Even being a muslim, I am the only one in my family....or rather in "my heritage", as my mother often exagerates!!) Afterall I have only myself to depend on so I have to learn to cope by myself. (That's how I became an expert at repairing faulty taps and can cope with minor repairs round the house!! haha! ) I should perhaps hold a banner round my neck to inform that I am actually comfortable with my present state and am enjoying my singlehood! Thanks again sister, for being the listening ear to some of my worse days... Ramadhan Mubarak to you...


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sheryne
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Posted on Wed, Sep 19, 2007 09:52

You must be an attractive lady - and I've read some of your other blogs - but you keep getting the wrong kind of attention! (insert sympathetic smiley here) Don't worry. Sometimes our zeal gets the better of us. You sound like a 'very onnnn' person, always raring to go, but maybe - and beware! this may be a very bad advice - it's time to play it cool. Next time just send your ungrateful neighbour an opening dish only, just to start the celebration of Ramadhan. haha. And if any guy comes up to you with their problems, only give a listening ear and nothing more. Let them look for solutions themselves... (sigh!) You know guys can be like puppy dogs sometimes, shamelessly craving affection. Worse still if they're in a vulnerable state and you shower them with attention. Okay, hope to read about your better days. Assalaamu'alaikum.


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