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Muslim Blogs > Haleemah's blogs > Am I being to picky
Am I being to picky Sort by:
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Haleemah
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total posts: 26
Posted on Wed, Apr 26, 2006 07:36

Salaam All, I was talking to NB (Niqabi Buddy) and I asked her "Am I to picky" She said I am a little stretched.. GOD!! All I want is a simple handsome sunni muslim hubby that has a good job and doesn't have a wahhabi way of thinking. He knows what school he follows (Hanafi Shafi etc. ). He's not against Tasawuf and He's not an ego tripper or think Big of himself. Why is that so hard? Not looking for perfection but I see what my friends are going through and GOD I don't want that to happen to me.. I ended a 3 years relationship with a guy because I got tired of his empty promises and his beautiful lies. I don't want to go through that mess again... I know I shouldn't punish a man for what a guy has done to me in the past but I've learned from it. I CAN'T CAN'T CAN'T settle for the next Ahmed or Bilal just because he's avail. Maybe I am scared of getting hurt again. To me, men sing alot of songs and they will say anything for you to bend for them and I'm at the point where it's easier for me to put him on MUTE. Then listen to a mushy line "I want to be only with you.. I love you just the way you are, I will always be here for you etc." I don't want to deal with a man having a problem with being chaparoned... I dont want to deal with a man that's going to pick and choose what to follow and what not to follow I don't want to deal with a man that can't Respect me as a Muslimah I don't want to deal with a guy running around making plans without me saying so. I don't want a guy that thinks Insulting me is ok and when it's all said he still can't apologise for his insults. I really don't want to deal with a man that's going to question my Wali's (my father) Islamic background. I Basically don't have time for games. So am I being Picky? I am not attracted to Ignorant or Arogant men. I could careless for the Bawlers. and I wanna puke when I see a half ass pretending to be all holy... He's all Good in front of the Imam but later on he's hitting up the club and hooking up with some girl from there... ~ Half ass~ or he picks and choose what to follow I'm not attracted a Brother who doesn't follow a certian school instead he say I am just a muslim- Because that's general- and they are the same ones that will pull different meanings for different things from the four schools but doesn't follow any of them.. Basically he's a pick and chooser in his deen. I lived to long been through to much and seen alot to just settle with just anyone. I have to many examples of what happens when one just settle with whatever. I promise myself I don't want to end up like those examples. Am I being to picky?


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Haleemah
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total posts: 26
Posted on Fri, Apr 28, 2006 06:44

Thank you all for your comments. Yes I know that there are good ones out there...It just really bugs me when my friends say to me "You just don't want to get married.: and the nI tell them how I feel and then they say "I am picky" I'd rather keep to myself then go on this wild goose chase in finding a spouse. My father always say "What hit you can never miss you and what miss you can never hit you. If it's decreed from me to get married then Inshallah I will be... I would like to marry for the Sake of Allah (SWT) and know that my husband feels the same and we are on the page as being a couple on the path to Allah's Divine spiritual light. until then... I am on the path alone. Figuring out who I am and what I am all about. Allahu Alim Shukran Fi amin Allah


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Raza2017
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total posts: 52
Posted on Thu, Apr 27, 2006 17:09

Hello. Can anyone tell me why we call different people different names in terms of "wahhabi" as Haleema mensioned??? Why do we always say that a person has to come from this school of thought or that school of thought. The school of thought we all need to come from is a school of thought that teaches Islam. Read the Quran and follow the path which you believe to be true, as Allah will guide you. And above all follow your heart. When we call names to different people, that is the only way we are deviding ourselves. We all believe in one God, Allah, so why do we critizise??? We need to see ourselves first.


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Raza2017
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total posts: 52
Posted on Thu, Apr 27, 2006 17:08

Hello. Can anyone tell me why we call different people different names in terms of "wahhabi" as Haleema mensioned??? Why do we always say that a person has to come from this school of thought or that school of thought. The school of thought we all need to come from is a school of thought that teaches Islam. Read the Quran and follow the path which you believe to be true, as Allah will guide you. And above all follow your heart. When we call names to different people, that is the only way we are deviding ourselves. We all believe in one God, Allah, so why do we critizise??? We need to see ourselves first.


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AbdulSamed2008
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total posts: 66
Posted on Thu, Apr 27, 2006 13:55

Assalamu aleykum sister, It seems that you have experience a wrong Man. dont be negative inshallah make niyah(intention) And Ask Allah: only a man that is Ghair(good) for you if he is of no good to you then dont ordain it for me. It is not being picky but our prophet (saws) ordered us to marry the one who is bewaring of Allah. May Allah grant you a good partner inshallah.


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gaamar
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total posts: 24
Posted on Thu, Apr 27, 2006 08:24

Salam, No, you are not... In this life you need to find someone who is compatible to you and your wants, but my advice to you is marriage is about compromise and respect. This is done by most sister who have been hurt or what what happens around them. Most of what you talked about are related to the deen and you are on the right path in your choosing a husband by those standards. My advice to you is... Dont expect to get the perfect man. In fact, you need to make a list about stuff about him that you are not willing to compromise, and dont back down from them. The rest is give or take. Life is hard and marriage is job that never ends. Inshallah you get what you want.


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