Posted on Nov 14, 2005 at 07:58 PM
I'm so stressed right now. I know everybody is stressed, but this is almost more than I can bear. I thought I could handle the stesses of life, but now I really see how much my ex-husband's emotional support helped me through it all. I have nobody now and it's beyond my comprhension. I mean how do you make it without anyone on your side?
I know this life is a test, a trial, but do you even have a chance if you have to take the burden all on your own. I pray all the time and I am so grateful for what I have,but sometimes I really wish I had someone that loved me so much they just want to take care of me. I know I have the potential to give that to somebody.
I was talking to my mother a few moments ago and I can't even open up to her. I don't think it's right to burden her with my problems. She always says she will make duaa for me and I guess that's enough. Still I wish there was someone that I could completely open up to and could feel secure that they loved me unconditionally.
I heard someone once say "Just lay your head on my shoulders".. maybe it was in a song-- I don't know-- but that's just the nicest thing, you know...... hmmmm* drifts off to daydream about strong shoulders to rest on*.
Okay, I'm back. Alhamdulilah for the air that I breath-- just another oppertunity for everything good; another day for redemption. I have to remember that. It's so hard sometimes. When I drove past a cemetery today for the brief second I wished I could switch places. astufurllah.
Anyway, I was at the MVA today (yes, I should have been at work..) so I'm sitting there and this guy is sitting a few seats away from me and and he's just so cute. Anyway, he's really into his girlfriend (all the while checking me out--- men are sooo funny..hehehe) and I'm just baffeled because she is so NOT cute * I never get that....*
I once read that "the whys and hows are never asked for the emotions of the heart. Adoration and love are miracles, small gifts from God."
After seeing that couple all I'm thinking is ..hmmm, isn't that the truth.
Ok. So lets pray for a miracle.
May Allah (swt) bring us a wonderful, pious, adoring spouse that we may love and will love us without end. ammeen.