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Muslim Blogs > Marsjupiter's blogs > Saddest day of my life
Saddest day of my life Sort by:
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marsjupiter
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Posted on Mon, Apr 17, 2006 23:22

Yesterday was a day that i would never want to remember. I was officially divorced by my husband without his willingness. You see he would never want to release me at first place or never at all as he loves me so much but at the same time having a relationship with someone whom he has a view to marry. I love my ex-husband as much but i've no choice to file a divorce as he couldn't afford financially or the ability to re-marry. The only way is either i have to go or the other party has to go. And it seemed he was adamant to keep her in his life as well as me. So i've to make the dicision. I've been tolerating his infidelity for almost 9 mths. I've asked him what had i done wrong or had i not been doing gd as a wife. And his answered was NO. I've done a gd job that was what he said. It was just so happened he met someone and eventually fell in love. Even though i'm a strong believer and a practised muslimah but i couldn't bring myself to share my husband with someone else. I think i would suffer more if i were to stay on with him coz i know i'm still not up to that higher level yet to accept or feel at ease when my husband re-marry again. Sooner or later the feeling of jealosy/betrayed/rivalry/incomplacent/lack of attention and time will slowly surfaced. And being my ex-husband i knew he was not capable in being equal and just. Therefore to avoid myself of creating more sins later on and to have it eventually affect my islamic duties/obligations, i backed off from this marriage and let him pursue his interest with her. I've sincerely forgave both him and her on all the hardships,pains and sufferings that they have caused me. I wish them happiness and may ALLAH show them the right path. This is the most i can do as a good wife.


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Vivik38
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Posted on Thu, Feb 21, 2008 12:03

Assalamu A'laikum. I've read your blog and I have my own view. I hope I'm not against you. I bare no grudges gainst you. I hope you'll be the same towards me. Whatever decision that you have made in your life , is yours and no one can ever or have the rights to say its wrong. If you believe in yourself that the decision is the ebst for you. Always remember that What Allah has provided us all this while in life is the best for us b'cus Allah knows best and Allah gives the best. You have the believe in yourself , so let the believe brings you to the blessed path of Allah. Never look back for whatever reason/s about your past. Look forward. Thats why Allah created eyes infront of us and not behind. Stay focus in life, get yourself attached and get married soon and preach Islam to your family and lead them to the beautiful world of Islam. Salah dan silap saya minta maaf. My doa for is May Allah shower you with the blessing in dunia & akhirat.


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yanti1979
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Posted on Sun, May 14, 2006 19:28

Assalamualaikum, Sister, May Allah bless you for your bravery and love. You have given an example how someone should do as wife and as woman. Your ex husband didn't know what he has lost. May Allah grant you the best place in heaven for being such a devoted wife... Wassalam


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rachel786
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Posted on Mon, Apr 24, 2006 06:41

Be strong sister, Allah will guide you, everything happens for a reason. You seem like a strong woman, let your iman guide you. I hope your heart heals one day. I will pray for you. Rachel


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Raza2017
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Posted on Sat, Apr 22, 2006 16:41

Salam sister. I am very sad to hear this news. I hate these type of people. I mean why can't he just love one person, and that is you and just stick with it??? I hope you will feel better as time progresses and hope my prayers will prevent this to happen to you again. Raza


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gaamar
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Posted on Thu, Apr 20, 2006 21:00

Salam, Walid, i have to respond to your comments about this subject. i agree with her completely about leaving, i would have done just the same if that was my situation. It seems nowadays there is this sudden freedom for men to marry many wives then hiding behind the religion of Islam, claiming it gives them the right to marry up to 4. While this is true, many are forgetting the reason behind this right to marry up to 4. These men are, i believe, abusing this right. They are mistaking their lust for duty. The Prophet Mohammed (SAWS) married many wives who were widows and was looking to protect them or make peace with certain tribes by his contract of marriage with them. But I feel that these days men are so easily willing to marry a second, third, fourth because they financially can afford it, or out of pure lust, when there is nothing wrong with their first wife full filling their every need. It is wrong of them, and honestly discusts me when i hear the stories. I used to tell my ex this, "i will give you my youth, my beauty, my nice figure, only if you give my your old age" but it didn't seem to sink in. He kept claiming that God will give him "better", so i let him go. Marsjupitar, your "better" will come inshallah, just be patient. I am waiting for mine :)


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Walid2002
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Posted on Wed, Apr 19, 2006 06:39

Well sister ..this is one of the signs of the judgment day's coming.. Lots of divorces is happening now,men are more vonourable to meet more women through their work life and so on as well as women these days,while before men didn't meet women as much as now(not to forget the internet and so on..). I can understand your story and iam sorry 2 hear that you are divorced now(join the que),as my previous fellow brothers said,be patient and open a new page(life is like a book,and evry year is like a different page untill you reach the end.) The important thing is to have a happy end and to be in Paradise may Allah the almighty grant to you and to all of us. Just like to comment that despite that the harsh way that your EX hauband has did it to you,but by marrying another woman can't be described as unfaithfull.Unfaithfull is when some one commits Zina sin(adultery)while he is married or not,but to marry another one we can't blame any man just for doing that as long as he is fair(remeber that he is doing it lawfully and this is allowed to protect him from doing Zina),other wise if any wife says I've been betrayed,and so on..it means that prophet Mouhammad,and sahabahs have been betraying their wives which is wrong..so a message for all women to think twice before they utter these wrong words. Some times a husband doesn't like to tell his wife what's wrong in their relationship to avoid herting her,I mean no matter what a married man might do,he is the one who is always to be blamed,,what's going on? Please we are muslims,forget these democratic crap and so called first world ideas,and movies dramas,our men has to be away from haram and if it happens that a man likes a woman and later on developes to a permisable realtionship may be without any intention,then ends up in marriage ,may be she has the attributes that is not present in his present wife,and let me tell you sister,any woman will lose her husband if she thinks that she got him for granted and that he will never ever look at some one else just because he got kids from her.No sorry.. My humble opinion:(A wife have to be always up to date with his feelings and needs as if she is still a new wife,may be then he won't marry another one... On the other hand,a man need to think if he has a siter or daughter would he like that to happen to her? if every man thinks this way then iam sure that lots of men will think a lot before deciding to divorce specially when there are kids in between(men need to be more patient and responsible..I guess those are the real men).


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Fauzey
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Posted on Tue, Apr 18, 2006 09:29

Something that Halal but God dislike...divorce! Nothing is sweet in seperations only God listen to all broken hearts. Life is only a test.


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scintilating
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Posted on Tue, Apr 18, 2006 06:23

Assalamualaykum Sister Its very sad to hear and iam very sorry to hear about you.Dont be nervous sister Allah is with,dont make your mind for duniya its just apath to akhirath and inshallah you will find agood place in heaven. Inshallah ihope you will get married to a new man,but ican understannd you cant forget those days you spent with your husband.May Allah give you Sabar and keep you in the happiest moments of life forever(ameen). Assalamualaykum


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umarsherwani
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Posted on Tue, Apr 18, 2006 06:14

Asalamu Alikum Dear Sister, I just read your sad story and at the moment I am thinking, who did wrong in this situation. Everyone was fair and was in the limits of Islamic teaching. I could not give any further comment. The only suggestion for you is to forget your ex-husband try to get merry someone else as early as possible. May Allah create ease for you.Amen Umar


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