I was trying to get lost in the Barrier Reef, it's just, the word Reef gave me other thoughts.

Now I'm feeling effects of my Reefer adventure. Did you know I'm a expert at gasoline recognition. Unleaded, Regular, Super Unleaded. doesn't matter how you mix and match them, I can recognize each and every type, separately.

Acquiring this expertise naturally involved several visits to the hospital. I had been hospitalized so many times, I had no idea why after awhile. But enjoyed the food sin  more...

I was trying to get lost in the Barrier Reef, it's just, the word Reef gave me other thoughts.

Now I'm feeling effects of my Reefer adventure. Did you know I'm a expert at gasoline recognition. Unleaded, Regular, Super Unleaded. doesn't matter how you mix and match them, I can recognize each and every type, separately.

Acquiring this expertise naturally involved several visits to the hospital. I had been hospitalized so many times, I had no idea why after awhile. But enjoyed the food since I didn't have to cook it.

While at the hospital I began wondering upon many things, one being, "why women can't put mascara on with their mouths closed." Anther thing I found shockingly disturbing was, "why doctors call their work..practice."

My hospital stay encouraged me to sleep in the nude. It had been such a wonderful experience, I decided to carry on with it. Being so comfortable with myself I had done so while camping. I decided to sleep in the buff during a recent camping trip, several decades ago.

When I woke up, the helpful Park Ranger had informed me that it had been raining all night. And that is why my friends along with the tent and all my clothes had relocated a few miles down the path.

So I thanked the Ranger, who for some arrogant reason refused to shake my hand. Since running in the nude could prove extremely painful, I decided to skip and sometimes hop and occasionally jump down the path.

My agility did bring some unwanted attention, especially from the woodpeckers. But I wasn't worried. Since I was trained to be in a constant state of alertness, I remembered to keep my boots on. Good thing too since my friends were kind enough to attach some toilet paper. This was especially encouraging since if I did get lost, I could follow the toilet paper back. But only three feet. This was enough to have me move slowly, just incase.

Which reminds me of the time I had decided to act really cool at a bar. I decided to lean on the bar by the entrance and light a cigarette to signal the arrival of the, "hot girl," to my buddies. This was a cool act and usually guaranteed a free beer. When the hour approached and , "hot girl," walked in, I leaned with my elbow on the bar cigarette in hand. Unfortunately the bar tender was not made aware of my coolness, as he had lifted the entrance to the bar, and I fell through. Good thing I didn't smoke Winstons because the cigarette was crushed. So were my feelings, but I was drunk.

Naturally this reminds of the time I was chased by a angry mob of bananna wielding chimpanzees through the jungles of the Congo. It was a lush jungle populated with tucans, parrots and bones of previous explorers, who obviously were not familiar with maps.

I managed to swim up the Nile and some what across it, unto a shoreline. Where I ran into a old group of friends who had formed a motorcycle gang called, "The Boogie Knights." They were camping at Hangmans Creek. It was a notorious tourist trap, complete with forged maps an other documents that could lead to a prompt arrest.

Sad to report, I was quickly arrested for window shopping at one of those establishments. I enjoyed prison immensly. Not only did I manage to make many penpals who, were in the cell across from me, but I had learned several new words in a language, that did not exist, prior to my learning it. less...