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Muslim Blogs > Siniram's blogs > am I going crazy or what???
am I going crazy or what??? Sort by:
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Siniram
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Posted on Sat, Dec 22, 2007 21:10

well as you know most of us have as they call it now a days LOVE TROUBLE...........or in my case marriage issue I have been talking to an Egyptian guy for 2 years now....he even came to see my family and me ..........he tells me he loves me all the time and whatever happens he will allways love me ..............that part is all good :) The bad part is ..........he has got a major financial trouble like $40,000 type of a trouble that he has been fighting to fix in credit card debt...........and that is not the only issue no no no......there is more. After 2 years of knowing each other he said he has feelings for someone else as well but he loves me more............and even though he promised he would not mary another girl if we marry .......I am starting to doubt it ........... I offered to help him get something worked out about his debt..........I said to him that I didnt care he wasnt rich..........few days ago he asked me to marry him and than didnt call me for 2 days until I called him and told him how I felt ...........I am terribly hurt by his actions ...........I cant find any relaxed time without thinking of things and am very concerned about what exactly should I do next ..........sometimes I say to myself "just let it go ........he is sooo playing with you".......other times I am so conviced he cares so much about me but I dont want to marry and than he gets married to someone else.......I should be able to trust the person I am thinking of speniding the rest of my days with .........he seems very religious yet all of this is sooo confusing to me if anyone out there a few words of wisdom please dont hesitate to post a comment I would really appreciate it now thank you all Salam


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savior1183
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total posts: 26
Posted on Sat, Dec 29, 2007 02:30

dear sister this happens to a lot of premartial affairs and i have seen in among my friends. I have an advice u both should sit together and talk about every issue one by one find a solution and set time frames on when you will do what and how write down everything thats going in your mind and speak to him.If he is being negligient then he is not doing right.Involve your family members and friends.


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fatima333
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total posts: 31
Posted on Fri, Dec 28, 2007 01:02

assalaamalicum siniram. u still want to hear comments. the comments which is already posted for u is more.u understand everything,u r in love,u know right but still cannot raise stronge steps and it take time,till that time comes u will become mentally disturbed and MAY ALLAH FORBIDS ,This cause health problems,u look upset confused in pictures.well i dont know u really upset with situations or not...u know world is filled with good and bad people,,if u r good and people like that guy who is playing with ur feeling then u also should be stronge bold and change ur bad mood to happy mood.ur heart is not football that any guy come and play it,ur feelings are precious and ur heart feelings are only for good people who care and also love to live sincere life with u.


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Siniram
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Posted on Thu, Dec 27, 2007 02:02

I still am interested in hearing different comments thank you


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Siniram
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Posted on Tue, Dec 25, 2007 01:14

thank you so much ...........you are so right and I am so aware of it in so many ways ...........I am just going through some very tough time at this moment that I really needed some advice .........thank you for your sincirety salam and take care


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fatima22
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Posted on Mon, Dec 24, 2007 11:24

He seems inconsistent and unstable... and is this what you want in your guy?? He perhaps knows you love deeply and you are the kind of person who would give your all to your man, but from your story, he seems to be playing on these sentiments of yours. If you feel this is true, then do not let him manipulate you. No, you are not going crazy. Love does these things to the heart. We all wish it could turn out like in the story books, but it never does.... Go out with your girlfriends, indulge in some hobby, keep your mind off him for a while and hopefully the time apart from thinking about him will make you wiser and stronger emotionally to deal with the matter. And it helps to pray for the right guidance too. Relationships should involve both parties gving and taking. You should not be the only one having to give. It's ok, girl, to do some taking... If he truly cares for you, his actions should convince you that he does. And if you are not fully convinced, it is better to let go instead of trying to convince yourself that he will change or that it will get better.... It is hard for leopards to lose their spots. You said you have doubts. Well your doubts are there for a reason. Don't you think it would be better to deal with these doubts, instead of just sweeping them under the rug? Personally i feel it is better to go through the pain of rejection now than to jump into the fire and be charred for life. This is just my opinion, but only you will know him better....


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sincerity2005
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Posted on Mon, Dec 24, 2007 04:00

Salaam my dear sister Siniram i hope you and yours are in the best of health Insha'Allah. i would like to apologise in advance of what i am about to say as you may not like it,i'm sorry. you say the brother has known you for the past two years and has even been to see you and your family,what do you know about him apart from what he has told you? what type of visa does he have? does he have permanent stay in the country? is he a gambler? does he send money back home to egypt? does he work? only you know and should know the answers to these types of questions. it would seem to me that he knows about you and your family in depth and yet you know nothing about him or his family except what he chooses to tell you.he says he loves you,is this the type of behaviour one expects from someone who says they love you? forty thousand dollars in debt says it all! a working class man may or may not be struggling to make ends meet but he definitely would not be in debt to the tune of forty thousand or anywhere near.you say he is fairly religious? as far as i'm aware religious people try to avoid paying interest on money at all costs,in other words they don't borrow or spend money where interest is payable. he says he has feelings for someone else but loves you more? even if you or i felt that way about somebody else would we tell them that, especially when we have no intention of marrying or having a relationship with this somebody else? ABSOLUTELY NOT,unless you want to hurt their feelings intentionally and play on their vulnerability.he says he would not marry another girl,why would he say that? he is playing with your emotions i feel.you have every right not to trust him. your offering to help him out with his debt just goes to show what type of character you are,(a very caring type),he also sees that and is taking advantage of you.have you given him money?paid for him in the past? a person who knows you and proposes does not wait for two days until he hears from you. religious people don't behave like the brother in question, TRUST ME.a religious person knows that it is compulsory to get married as soon as possible. you know as well as i do that deep down in your heart you know he is just stringing you along and manipulating you and your feelings.it is having a detrimental affect on your health and well being in general.as you state yourself "he is soooo playing with you.i am convinced his reason for telling you he has feelings for another and he won't marry another are simply to keep you guessing,worried and to totally manipulate you in whichever way he can.HE IS PLAYING WITH YOUR HEAD. it would not surprise me if he is playing this sad,pathetic game with some other sister too. if i was you sister, i would run as fast and as far away from him as soon as possible.if you think what you are going through now is bad how do you think you will feel when you have been with him for another two years (with possibly a child) and he still acts this way or even worse??? you are young and it would appear you are caring,kind,considerate and you have your heart in the right place so go find yourself a good,pious husband.i'm really sorry for being so blunt but it would hurt me to find you've been duped and abused further down the line.best of luck with what ever you decide.may Allah Swt help you make the right decision,ameen. take care Allah hafiz


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fatima333
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Posted on Sun, Dec 23, 2007 04:58

Assalaamalicum, siniram, it is right that u should able to trust the person.but not all and always. i truely feel he is not good standerd person.if he is religious then he should marry u as soon as possible..how can he get attracted with another women after two years of knowing u??? now he say he loves u and also say he liked some one and also claims he loves u more.did u ask him why he did not call u for two days?? he did not get time to call u for 2minutes,such a buzy guy should be in guiness world record..how can u spend ur life as a wife who dont even have time to call u for 2minutes??? well if he has stronge genuin reason for not calling u then fine.and also u are helping him to solve the debt...plz stop helping him.i feel u will be in loss later..i am sorry if i said anything wronge ,,what my heart feel i typed thats it.search another good man,,if u are in love with that man .then u need to think about this relation .it looks you are trying to clap with one hand.only u love him,i dont think he loves u .


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