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  • life?
  • How amazing it is that i write these lines and my heart cries and my soul bleeds. its a strange feeling that you have when you know your times up and you die in days. not your average love story so get your pop corns and read on. tell me what is faith to you? and who you think have more power. Allah or something you drink or some magician who can make things happen and change life's. this is a life changing story. its how you stand on faith and Quran and then how its taken away and you fall.
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Truth? Posted on Jun 20, 2008 at 07:04 PM
It is amazing and ironic that I'm writing this. I don't know what people's perception is about blogs. and I don't know what is yours about it as well and what you will think of what I'm saying, writing I mean. the title says, truth. and let me say that I'm a stupid person. I'm not kidding, really, I am. but I happen to know it before any body rubs it into my face. so this being start of the truth. interesting I guess, right? I know it sounds like it. what is truth to you? you who are reading this? what the word truth means to you? figuratively and literally. what? don't tell me tell that to your self. another question, what will you do if a person hurt you? as this is a "nice Muslim" site so obviously the first thing comes to the mind is forgive. now, think out of the box for a minute. and with out the "nice Muslim" cover. the real you. who you are and I hope you do know who you are. let me put it this way, a person hits your car and refuse to pay for the repair. or breaks some thing valuable of yours and denies it out right. I think you know what I mean. another question, what is pride and honour to you? some body says bad things about you and your family that will up set you right? right. so we all know what is pride and honour. two different words but similar feeling. another one, what is promise? what does it mean? to you. what's the word promise holds to you? what is Quran? and what respect it has in your eyes? so, do you have the answers? lets see what is truth, pride, honour and promise and Quran. before, let me ask another question, I think enough questions and lets see the answers. there are people in this world to whom their pride and honour is more important than the truth. that often is fake pride and honour. I haven't found it written any where so far where it says that we are above Allah and Quran. have you? you, if you have to decide between speaking the truth and fake pride and honour what will you do? difficult question right? and we all being on a "nice Muslim" site, the answer is, speak the truth! reality is quiet the opposite to be honest. and we all know that so there is no need to be scratching the back of our heads. I believe in some thing, and that is, if you do some thing than say it. have the guts to say it. and if you can't. then don't do it. there is no point of it if you can't stand on your own two feet's and say that you do this and whatever it is. I've come across that our fake pride and honour is more to us than Allah, Quran and speaking the truth. I tried, more like banged my head against fake pride and honour and tried to show the reality. but no body wants to see, know the truth. every body lives in a dream land where things are either every thing but the truth. I have banged my head against such people and they are amazing. they ignore and shh.. the truth. because pride and honour is above Allah and Quran. I've lived it. and it is disgusting to know that we do this and yet have a face to show to each other. I am surprised that people do not believe in shahada. you read it and say some thing and the person will think, okay this person is telling lies. I wish I could laugh but it is true. every body against truth and it has to be kept under shh.. and people are scared of it. because it will show the real faces and that means every body will talk and speak about things and people. so its better to shh.. I wonder if we all do this? I put my life on the line for it and I can say with out any doubt that we do more to hide the truth than to speak the truth. I've been threatened and every thing and I still speak the truth but guess what? no body gives a monkey about it. because, fake pride and honour is more important than Allah and Quran. people are scared of the truth. because people know that why they change. what will you think when out of the blue some body who you trust most changes. and I mean change in worst way. I mean brain washed out. how will you feel? let me tell you, you won't be on cloud nine for sure. and how about, when Quran is what? I don't know? than how will you feel? angry? I think beyond that. but than it's me. may be you are still under the impression of "nice Muslim", huh? I'm not very educated person and don't have much knowledge of Islam either. but what is promise to you? to me. its simple. a man wanted to take part in a war which Muslims were getting ready to fight for. so he took of from his city and somewhere the enemy caught him. threatened to kill him. he said, don't kill me and I promise you I won't take part in this war against you. so they being enemy of Islam and Muslims and all that, they said okay fair enough you promise so of you go mate. he came and saw Rasool. told him the whole thing. and said I want to fight but had to say this so I can make it here. Rasool listened and said, you can not fight. you promised. the man was what what this and that. Rasool forbid him from taking part in the war. what the moral of it? a promise is a promise even to the enemy. and even in tough times. against your own self. thats what I understood from it when I read it ages ago. I asked an imam that you promise me some thing, now you tell me can you run from it? is it my right to ask it of you or not? he couldn't answer. and said yes you do have the right. a well known imam. I don't want to name but it was interesting to talk to him and hear the mm.. yes this and yes that. it's interesting that even the so called best among us coward out and shh.. I had a time of my life. I wish I could say that. so I asked what about what you promise me in the name of Allah and Quran? interesting answer that yes you have the right. so when you open your mouth and say some thing to some body you actually give them the right. and I mean the right and left of it and there is no denying to it. some body tried to be smart with logic, I said prove that Rasool made a mistake and should have let that man fight. prove Rasool wrong and if he was wrong than I'm too. I'm just saying what he said, did. to me Rasool set an example for us so called Muslim and nice Muslims that this what you do. but than it's me and what I think it means. let me be selfish, I don't want to know what more it means! because to me that is the moral of it. what it is to you? like I said I'm not an educated person but when I was young I did came across some things which I remember. this is one of them. the person couldn't deny it and had to shut up. so basically you can not wash your hands of promise. let alone what you promise in the name of Allah and Quran. interesting isn't it? but we do. we do that in a way, with out any shame or guilt. and what's there to shame or guilt anyway? when we do this we do this in front of a person and we face that person every day or week. so to us that is more important that our fake pride and honour must not get hurt. Quran on the other hand can because Allah is not standing in front of us every day right? well not that we can see but sure he is. but we don't have to face him like a person so it's okay. because when we start to brag about our self's, we usually don't stop at any thing short of good Muslim. even better, the one who speaks the truth and fears Allah and this and that and well it's a long list and we all know it so who am I kidding. so I've got swears in the name of Allah and Quran and promise in the name of Allah and Quran. but the thing is every body wants to hide it. suddenly the bragging is out of the window and in comes the change. out goes Quran and promise. how come? makes no sense to me. so how will you feel if your life changes in a day? up side down? and what you believe in, that is Allah, Quran and promise and this and that, happens to be nowhere to be seen and wrong? proven wrong. what? cloud nine are we sitting? so I have a few throats to hold on the day of judgement. you can't wash your hands of from Quran and promise. not in the Islam that I know a bit about. not the homemade version of it. maybe in that it can be done. for years a question was rubbed into my face and I always said that I wish you knew that what right do I have. rubbed into my face that how dare you ask and demand. I always said I wish you knew the Islam you talk about and brag about. I didn't actually told that how I have the right because than its not fun because when you live hell and you know that what you are in for and what can you ask or demand for against it than you tend to think that okay you are naive enough to ignore what you brag so much about but I'm not so I'll ask on my own terms. that is fun I think. so I lived that. I wish I could laugh that when I speak the truth the pants got wet and rather than truth coming out and honour Quran and promise the only thing that came out was what what what what. and not my pants I'm talking about I was wearing jeans at that time. still am. I dared every body to speak the truth. but how can any body? when they are blind. how a mind changes this much? how? how come a person stands against every thing and suddenly changes. mind washed. magic? I know. true that it speaks for itself. and people do that so they can show their so called face to the society and have their fake pride and honour that no body can do this to me, us. me, we are above every thing and can change every thing. true. I agree. because I've seen the wonders of it in works that it even shuts Quran. and the person so blind and becomes stupid that what what what what and I don't know I don't know is what you get as an answer. this is called control. this is called life. thats how you live people. I did not knew that thats how you get by and base your life up on. I am surprised that we see things and understand things and yet let things happen. sit and watch the world go around and live the illusion. to find it to be a lie. I saw it happening. I saw the brain being washed. it is amazing that money works in more ways that we can imagine. it can give you a life. a life which n
Really? think again. Posted on Aug 08, 2007 at 01:52 PM
I'm sorry to dare say this and try and explain, but honestly I'm not sorry to say this at all. anyway, do you really need Jews Christian and Hindu's to cling on to Islam? or it comes from within you? and yes i am talking to you! so read on! if you need people like these then you don't know who you are and what you are made of. not half asleep and eyes half open and in trance, thats why and when i kicked you where it hurts you the most. faith and beyond. I'm gone as you wanted and if i was around you can hate me for that and hold it against me and i know the sin is on me and not on you but if i have to make you realise and leave trance and illusion, i would do that again. and again. how you took it was upto you. i know the strong point and weak point and i used it in best of my knowledge and may Allah forgive me for saying those things but i had to as desperate situations need desperate measures. you got that one right and the other wrong. good for you. and i'm proud of you like you can never imagine. i didn't used it for my own benefit as i wasn't sleeping or in doubts. i never was and still not. shut me up for who i am but you can not shut whats in me. thats a promise. and i do keep them. my regards to you and to all and i wish i was there or the other way around so i can live it as well. get it through your head it wasn't pity or help. it was what i said and promised that i wont let you astray or fall and for that if i have to earn a bad name i will. and that i did and thats what i got in return, misunderstanding and hate. remember! this is my limit and i can not stretch more. remember! this is as far as i push and then fall. remember! this was the promise and wallah i kept it in a way that it left me with nothing but bleeding. but i did what i promised and didn't changed and didn't used it for myself. and didn't let you fall. be free, be you. you know who you are. you are good and i am proud of you. i'm done.
Regards Posted on Aug 08, 2007 at 06:50 AM
in case some body asks you do you know who you are. you better be ready for that. i knew who i was and found a new meaning of it few days ago. we are all individual's and good and bad and every thing in between. some things we do for pride and some for honour and some for what we believe in. and some to show who is authority. i really don't like wasting your important time by telling you things. most are educated and broad minded here and can look at things from different prospectives. but, if we want to do that and make a difference. my profile says photos incomplete, i wish i could post but i am ew thin again. i am off and i used this site to deliver my message and give shock and it worked. we all have a purpose in life. some times we find it and some times we don't. i find it and i gave it all that i had. i am proud of what runs in my blood and its worth all what i lived and what i said and did. i wish i was not bleeding and was not misunderstood but thats me and my life and i cant say a thing about it. i am not happy as you are reading this but i honestly believe if it makes you happy and proud of yourself then i guess its worth a life falling. its all in faith and believe. be yourself as i was being me. thanks for all what i lived. its worth it and its still the same. have fun and have a good laugh and enjoy your days and the amazing life you have. god bless you and i leave you in the care of Allah salaamalaikum
For FC " former convert " Posted on Aug 08, 2007 at 06:30 AM
Hello mate, I don't like pointing fingers and telling people things but i'm leaving and i've found your posts really informative. i thought i should drop by and give you a bit of piece of my mind. now i am not judging you as you have been doing that. i just want to inform you, or rather bring to your attention that people do have a device call television in their homes and work places these days. i don't know where you live but where most of us live we have the media in our reach to get the latest "news" and you really don't have to get into this much trouble of copy pasting the news. use your own opinion and be yourself. rather then spending time to dig and find things against people, spend some time studying yourself and build your own opinion about things. turn around and say the same to me, go on! mate, i'm human and i make mistakes and some i do willingly and some i don't. not here to judge you or your character but i would like to be at an arms distance from you because when you speak i smell hate. loads of Jews in London, good and bad just like anybody else. i made a willing mistake of saying things against islam. do you know why? not in a monkey year you can imagine why i did that! and yes i'm Muslim and proud of that. i had a reason and i stood for that. all went against me but i held on to it and still said those things which are beyond and all that. and in case you are wondering what is a monkey year, lets just say i am being polite. so mate there are things you can do on your PC other then copy paste the news. you can still do that or take a step back and look at things from a distance to see a bigger picture. like i said i'm leaving thats why i bothered to write to you, you should be proud because i just don't do that for everybody. i know myself and my religion better then you do. nice day. cheers! PS. need not to dedicate a post to me as i'm gone & won't be able to read. just trying to save you time so you can watch more news.
Amazing Posted on Aug 08, 2007 at 05:38 AM
I don't know how to say things which are inside me. i feel dry because whatever i have said its taken negatively. I'm lost and i got punished for the mistake i made willingly. so called mistake actually. i remember the slap and how i explained myself and how it was well understood and then again same thing and same issue slammed over my head for what? i don't know. i've lived what i've lived and i feel short on breaths. i did things which i knew would go against me and will be taken wrongly. but i did them because when you love somebody you think of that person and if the world comes falling on your head you take it. you take the bad name so the other person can see you, thats what i did. out of desperation and living hell and i did things and said things. and guess what, i was taken wrongly. in order to make somebody realise and see, desperate situation require desperate measures. that include hit where it hurts most. and thats what i did and for a minute i was understood but pushed and ignored to hell later. i saw my limits because to say things against god is beyond me but i said them and took the bad name so somebody can feel the shock and once realised knowing me and my character will not effect it because its not in me to say such things. but like i said desperate situation desperate measures. god bless the feeling that i have in me and its killing me and i am where i fear of the fall. this is not a desperate measure but, a fact. pushed ignored and taken wrongly. what's left in me. i wish i had some thing to cling because for somebody i said those things so to realise and believe, and to that somebody i am worthless. without realising that why i said and who i am. i can not explain because i'm done. thats why i deleted them posts because they served their purpose and delivered the shock. time to say salaam and god bless you for ignoring and for misunderstanding me. i cherish you and the reason for me being bad is not that i am but so you can see my love.