If both parties, who are rather elderly, and are quite certain that there is absolutely no hope of reviving the lost love and happiness in their marriage, and who have been constantly qarrelling, and putting up a "show of bliss" in front of their friends and relatives, would it be better for them to
a) Proceed for a divorce, so perhaps each can find happiness elsewhere, and still enjoy their remaining years?
b) Continue the drama (...because they are already elderly) and stay on for the sake of : convenience, habit, avoidance of shame, disruption in their social status, problems for their children and any other excuses they can find ....??
~ Anyway ~ People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, they may cheat you; Be forthright anyway. What you spent years building, they may destroy overnight; Build anyway. The good you do today, they often will forget tomorrow Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it will never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them, Anyway.
Had a terrible time at work ... pressing datelines.. difficult customers ... tiresome task to undo a major mistake created by a colleague .. agitated boss ..
Whilst driving home today , a sudden thought came to me to stop by the beach. I had always loved hearing the sound of waves ... they can be very soothing..
Glad to find the beach almost deserted...
As I sat alone, enjoying the peacful atmosphere, the sun began to set ...
Then I decided to do my maghrib prayers at the beach ...
Took out my plastic sheet and compass to determine the direction of the qibla... and under the kind protecction of the branches of a nearby tree .. i poured my heart out to The One who created all that i was experiencing around me then...
It was awesome... afterwards, a surge of peace and contentement engulfed my being... it was like a huge load was taken off my shoulders and i felt light hearted and ready to face the coming challenges
Then I realised that for some moment, I forgot ...Forgot that He was always holding my hand .. leading me along .. He made me take that route to the beach .. His way of comforting me as He only knew how .....
I then asked Him to never ever let go of my hand... Even if i had to go through fearsome tunnels and depressing alleys, please... please... constanlty hold my hand ... For i know there'll be a hopeful light and a brighter welcome at the other end ... if He was holding my hand throughout the journey ...
A coincidence is a small miracle in which God chooses to remain anonymous
By the way, I highly recommend anyone to experience praying in the open on a quiet beach ... The sensation is indescribable
THE DECENCY OF ANY SOCIETY CAN BE MEASURED BY HOW IT TREATS ITS MOST VULNERABLE CITIZENS......
[ Bear with the length of the story ... you won't regret the ending ! ]
All The Way Shay! Author Unknown
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: "When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"
The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. "I believe that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child."
Then he told the following story:
Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."
Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt . His father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the way Shay!"
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third, Shay, run to third!"
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, "Shay, run home! Run home!" Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.
"That day", said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world".
Young Shay would never forget what it felt like to be a hero that day.
Neither would the other boys.
[.........This story never fails to bring tears to my eyes each time I read it ...]
It's depressing to open the newspapaers or hear the news over the radio/tv .... bad economy, fighting, killing, robbing, etc, etc ...
Heavy clouds loom on most people's lives... Entering the office, I can sense the bad mood of my boss, almost every day!......And all people talk about these days ...are the downturn in the economy, bad business, lower salary, high costs, unemployment, etc ...
The only way to bring some spark of joy (and sanity..!) would be, I think, to make the effort to count our blessings..
So the idea came for this blog...
Why not reflect on what made us smiile today ..... ?
People will argue that this won't solve anything... they may be correct... but at least for a moment ... it would make us forget the miseries we cannot run away from ... and serve like a 'vitamin'... to energize us further...
So why not share your joy ? ... Contribute your inputs ... and make us all smile with you ...
As a start, here's my 'smile factor' for the day ..
Today my mother made chicken soup for me ! :)
I was down with a bad flu for a couple of days .. when my mum heard about it she was mad cause I refused to stop fasting and take my medications according to the prescribed timings... (btw, she is not a muslim so she doesn't understand Ramadhan..)
After our phone conversation in the morning, I thought nothing more about our discord and went to sleep...
In the late afternoon, there was a knock on my door... and there was my mum ... with a doggy bag! She had brewed her special chicken soup and brought it over to my place so that I could consume it when I break my fast...
I've never been so happy to see my mother ....and even better ... I had missed her special soup! ... Oh! and I forgot to mention... she even took the trouble to get a new pot and utensils to cook the soup, and the chicken and all the ingredients were from a halal store .... Mothers are the Best !
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window.
The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
And every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days and weeks passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it for himself.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."
There once was a king who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The king looked at all the pictures. But there were only two he really liked, and he had to choose between them. One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror for peaceful towering mountains all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.
The other picture had mountains, too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky, from which rain fell and in which lightning played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all.
But when the king looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on her nest - in perfect peace.
Which picture do you think won the prize? The king chose the second picture. Do you know why?
"Because," explained the king, "peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace."
Listening to couples having trouble in their relationships, I realised that the No. 1 problem that couples face is : RESENTMENT.
Resentment is the feeling of persistent ill will or displeasure, towards the other person, over something that he or she may have done or said to hurt us ... and which we continuously keep in our heart.
Most times we say we forgive ... but seldom do we completely forgive ...and harder still for us to completely forget the incidents. And when an argument erupts, there is a tendency to bring up the old matter, even when it has no relevance to the new argument...
If we allow resentment to build, that pent-up emotion will cause us to withdraw from our partners, especially emotionally. And this situation could spiral out of control if we let it.
Instead of allowing resentment to simmer within us like a cancer that penetrates all the areas of our life, and cause us to have a negative perception of your partner, it would be better to try to forget and forgive genuinely and not "dig up the grave"
This is healthier for us emotionally....reduces the hiccups in our relationships and makes for a happier cohesion....
Like the saying "Forgive And Forget"... let's try to look forward positively .. and not backward negatively... in our relationships....
A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman. "I've been thinking," he said, "I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone."
Why?... Cause... My reverting to Islam has changed my socialising....
He lost a partying, dancing partner... He lost a travelling partner... He lost a late night supper partner who bothers to listen to his woes and entertain his mood swings..... He dislikes my covered-up attire and misses my previous frequent varied hairstyles....
How is he making life a living hell for me?
By stifling my promotions... By assigning me to the more difficult customers ... By appointinng me to take charge of the more dreaded projects... By not lending his support for any of my ideas or suggestions... By making me remedy the mess made by other colleagues..
Why I am still around ?
Because I like my job... Because I know I am good at it .... Because I dare to do my job my way and gain satisfaction from the favorable outcomes, despite his efforts to ridicule my methods .... Because my clients appreciate and support me ... Because I want to survive the challenge ...
But most of all ... Because hell here is more bearable than the Hereafter !
A friend of mine was lamenting about her son who suddenly decided to stop pursuing his university education and concentrate instead on learning arabic and the Quran. He is not interested to pursue any further 'secular' educations or any career saying that rezeki is in the hands of Allah swt, so he would just see what is willed for him by Allah swt. He said that in the Hereafter, we will not be questioned about our highest qualifications so it is pointless to spend this life for such pursuits. He has stopped watching t.v or listening to music, or going out with friends.. he spends his time praying, reading the quran and doing any chores that his parents ask of him. And if only his parents would allow, he wants to migrate to live in a muslim country because he is against non muslim authorities and governing regulations. He just wants to prepare for the Hereafter and live his life according to the Quran, as he said this present life is a temporary abode...To him, advancement in this life are just human's manifestation and desires ... and he should not succumb to them ...
His parents are worried that their son is being guided towards the wrong concepts of Islam...
A friend of mine is in a marriage where the husband preaches that in Islam, 1)The husband is the "King" of the household. 2)His duty is solely to provide for the financial needs of the family. .. 3) The wife and children cannot question his decisions or ask where he is going or why he needs to go out... 4) The wife must be obedient to her husband and serve him well... 5) The wife cannot go any where, even to get groceries, without the husband's permission ... 6) the wife cannot answer back her husband in a defiant or reproachful manner..
So every day, my friend is cooped in the house... her husband comes home from work, spends about an hour at home ... then he goes out... and returns very late at night or in the early mornings and this happens every day of the week.. and on weekends he refuses to bring the family out saying he is too tired and just wants to laze at home... If the wifes questions where he goes or what he does... she will be reproached as being a bad muslim wife... The wife is highly educated with a U degree.. was holding a top managerial post befor marriage...but now has become subservient when she became a Muslim wife...
Is this correct ???
Whether in a Muslim or non Muslim marriage, I feel RESENTMENT ... is one of the main cause of relationships drifting apart.. ..specially resentment that has been harboured for too long.
It starts as a dissapointment... If nothing is done about it, it turns to disgust.... Then, if still left unattended, it turns to anger .... And if no effort is made to discuss or voice the matter out, then it becomes irreversible and by that time the couple would have drifted too far apart to hope for reconciliation... for by then they would have become like strangers to each other...
Happy are the couples who can be frank and open with each other .. who are able to view adverse comments constructively and not let their ego get in the way...
No hope for the couples in a relationship where the husband insists superiority at all times .. and worse still .. when he says that he did not make the rules.. Islam made the rules for the husband !!
FOR WOMEN: Having a job or career is often no longer a choice for most women, but a necessity.
Plus when she returns home from work, she is still responsible for creating a beautiful home and nuturing her family. She has to do this around the demands of her job. She has to balance the demands of work and home.
FOR MEN: Insteadof coming home to rest and recover from a stressful day, a man faces a wife and family who need more from him. His wife expects more help from him to run the household and participate in their children's busy schedules. No longer enjoying the sense of accomplishment that comes from being a provider, he returns home to his next job. He attempts to provide some measure of support, but he has not had the time he needs to recover from his daily stress. Eventually he too becomes tired and irritable.
FOR WOMEN & MEN: After tending to the many duties of domestic life, there is little time or inclination for couples to concentrate on their relationship
FOR ME: Considering the above....am I wrong to treasure my single status ...?
Read the news recently that there is a call in Malaysia to ban Muslims from doing yoga
A senior Islamic cleric has expressed that Muslims in Malaysia should not practice yoga because it will erode their faith in Islam.
He was quoted as saying "Yoga is forbidden for Muslims. The practice will erode their faith in the religion. We advice Muslims not to practice yoga. It does not conform with Islam." He said yoga involved physical and religious elements of Hinduism including the recitation of mantras. He even called on state authorities to punish those who do.
Is he correct? What are your views?
... Guess several yoga centres and instructors in Malaysia will be affected badly if this ban goes through...
And those who practise yoga as stress busters, may need to find other alternatives ...
Are you out to impress with falsehood or are you honest enough to yourself .. and to others?
I was at a social function and a guy was rattling away throughtout the whole event about his qualities and his achievements. I got so weary of listening to his humongous self praises that before I walked away, I told him that all the achievements he claimed cannot be credited to him alone because there is no might or power without the Will Of Allah swt
Later I found out that 75% of what he said were untrue.
I can't understand why there are some who continue to resort to such habits.
Everyone knows nobody is perfect...
It is ok to make mistakes; it is ok to falter; it is ok to be lacking in some qualities... we all can't be Superman... What is important is how we deal with those weaknesses and failures.
There are some who are very conscious about what people think of them that they often resort to fabrications. But don't they realise that the truth would eventually surface? When this happens, it is worse..... not only will people not think highly of them... it woud make people think BADLY of them instead!
May we, and myself included, be always reminded that we are powerless on our own .... All praises are rightly due to Our Creator.....