Muslim Blogs > SebastianJoshua's blogs > Asean Jokes part 1 of 3
Asean Jokes part 1 of 3 Sort by:
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Posted on Wed, Aug 09, 2006 07:51 PM

*"YOU KNOW YOU ARE INDONESIAN IF...* 1. when u talk really fast, with rapid tongue movements 2. when u wear thongs! or sandals everywhere, yes even in winter! 3. following above, always get bagged for wearing sandals 4. mie goreng is in the top 5 of your favorite foods 5. if you love taking photo studio pics 6. u like travelling in big group of frens, and talkin VERY loudly irrespective of your surroundings 7. almost a weekly ritual to go to church *YOU KNOW YOU ARE JAPANESE IF...* 1. You're obsessed with you hair, your car, and your clothes. 2. You want to marry a Korean American or Chinese American woman! (males); or you want to marry a white guy (females). 3. You're afraid of black people. 4. You only drive Japanese cars. 5. You know you are superior to all other Asians. *YOU KNOW YOU ARE KOREAN IF...* 1. You smoke and drink too much. 2. You wear pink Polo collar shirts, have loose beige pants, and have blonde highlights in your hair. 3. You know what a Dalki, Pucca or Mashimoro is? 4. You're afraid of black people. 5. You drive a Hyundai even though you won't admit it 6. You know you are superior to all other Asians. *YOU KNOW YOU ARE CHINESE IF...* 1. You think you're the smartest people in the world. 2. You have a mobile with you at all times. 3. You know the abbreviation of a.b.c. (Australian Born Chinese) 4. Today's steamed rice is tomorrow's fried rice. 5. You're afraid of black people. 6. A bicycle was a good form of transport before. 7. You know you are superior to all other Asians. *YOU KNOW YOU ARE VIETNAMESE IF...* 1. You MUST have fish sauce with every meal. 2. You eat at a restaurant that has "Pho?" on the signage. 3. Guys wear green mircofibre pants with Nike sneakers, and girls wear their flared black pants over their high sole shoes. 4. You know the abbreviation of f.o.b. 5. You have some relative who is Chinese. 6. Cabramatta makes you feel home sick. 7. You're afraid of black people. 8. You're fond of 2nd hand Japanese import cars. 9. You know you are superior to all other Asians. *YOU KNOW YOU ARE PHILIPINO IF...* 1. You want to be a dancer, a singer, or an actor, even though you have a day job as a nurse, an engineer, or an accountant. 2. A member of your family back home is a politician or a movie star or knows one. 3. Guys with jeans and white sneakers anyone? 4. You're always late for any engagement, and practice the art of Philo time? 5. You're not afraid of black people; in fact, you wish you were black. 6. You love your Toyota's and Honda's. 7. You don't care if you are superior to all other Asians or not, because being Filipino is just cool in itself. *YOU KNOW YOU ARE THAI IF...* 1. People want to pay you for sex 2. No matter what you eat, it's not greasy or spicy enough. 3. You mum seems to workout at the local gym. 4. Without glasses your eyes would be the size of ants. 5. You're not afraid of black people, because in some cases you're just as dark as they are. 6. Any car dump to the **** house is good? 7. You know in your heart that you will never be superior to all other Asians, but you've learned to live with it. *YOU KNOW YOU ARE MALAYSIAN IF...* 1. You believe everything the Government tells you 2. But are willing to change your mind if someone slips you $50. 3. The whole world (and Soros) is out to suppress you and your country. 4. You think that Mahathir will be around in 2020. 5. You welcome all people (be they black or otherwise) who invest in the MSC. 6. You think you are superior to most other Asians, but $50 can change that too. *YOU KNOW YOU ARE SINGAPOREAN IF...* 1. You eat, sleep, have sex and smile according to the policies stipulated by the Government in the Red Book they gave you when you were born. 2. The Red Book does not state that you have to be afraid of black people so you aren't. 3. You know you are superior to all other Asians, because it says so in the Red Book. *YOU KNOW YOU ARE ASIAN AUSTRALIAN IF...* 1. You regret the fact that you did not learn Mandarin or other Asian language properly in Saturday language school. 2. You say you're Australian, totally forgetting your roots. 3. During childhood you didn't have much asian friends, played bullrush or handball and ate 'sunny boys' for lunch. 4. A form of choosing was done by 'dip.dip dog ****?!' 5. You know you have to shop at an Asian grocery store but you have no idea what you are buying nor can you read any of the food labels. 6. You cheer for Australia during the Olympics, know local Australian bands, and know what a VB (beer) is. 7. You can speak fluent English without an accent. 8. Know what a Commodore and Falcon are. Yes..... they are cars! 9. You know you are superior to all other Asians, despite the fact that they beat you in Maths in the VCE, can speak an Asian language fluently and know what they are buying in Asian grocery stores.

SebastianJoshua a.k.a SeaBass

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