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baqi9
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Posted on Thu, Mar 01, 2007 19:41

Recently a friend of mine had his children taken away from him by his ex. He's not from this country and isn't allowed back in the country. After she got married he got the children. That marriage didn't last long, so when she was able to go see her children she was already plotting on how to get back the children. Ahhh, she remarried him and acted so poorly that the marriage didn't last a week. Even after the divorce the children refused to go with her. She got the police involved and still the children wanted to be with their father. All of them are at that age of choosing which parent they prefer to be with. Anyway she took him to court and she lost. Case closed right, no. After getting married again and having another child, she got the state department involved and they went and got the children...over a year later. This just doesn't make sense to me. Her rights are gone, but she refuses to let go. Can the sisters help me understand this. And sisters, what are you thinking of doing when you get married and your children's father is Muslim?


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baqi9
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Posted on Sat, Mar 10, 2007 18:30

Yahyaa ibn Sa?eed said: ?I heard al-Qaasim ibn Muhammad said: ? ?Umar ibn al-Khattaab had a wife from among the Ansaar who bore him ?Aasim ibn ?Umar, then ?Umar divorced her. ?Umar came to Quba? and found his son ?Aasim playing in the courtyard of the mosque. He took him by the arm and seated him in front of him on his riding-animal, but the child?s grandmother caught up with him and fought with him over the child until they went to Abu Bakr al-Siddeeq. ?Umar said, ?(He is) my son!? and the woman said, ?(He is) my son!? Abu Bakr said: ?Leave them alone,? and ?Umar did not answer back.? (Narrated by Maalik in al-Muwatta?, 2/767; al-Bayhaqi, 8/5). Ibn ?Abd al-Barr said: this hadeeth is well known with a variety of isnaads, complete and incomplete, and is accepted by the scholars. According to some reports, [Abu Bakr] said: the mother is more compassionate, more kind, more merciful, more loving and more generous, and she has more right to her child unless she remarries. Abu Bakr?s description of the mother as being more compassionate and more kind is the reason why the mother has more right to the custody of her young child. And Allaah knows best. I think that this is the hadith your imam was referring to, Allahu Alim.


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baqi9
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Posted on Fri, Mar 09, 2007 17:00

As salaamu alaikum maymoonstar, This is not correct. An nabi SAWS had a sister come to him stating that her husband divorced her and now wants to take away their son. She said that her womb held him, her breast nurished him, and her lap comforted him. An nabi SAWS said that she has more rights to the child until she marrys. The ulemaa say that this hadith informs us about when the mother loses her rights to the child. The boys choose who they wish to live with I believe at the age of 7, but the girl has to go live with her father I believe at the age of 7. This is because the mother can't be a wali.


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baqi9
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Posted on Sun, Mar 04, 2007 20:18

As salaamu alaikum maymoonstar, I agree, but in this situation it's kind of pointless. He isn't a u.s. Citizen and she is, so are the children. Masha Allah he is a practising Muslim and she has soon on more than a few occations that she has issues with parts of the deen that are against her desires. I make du'aa that the children be returned and this never happen again, ameen.


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baqi9
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Posted on Sun, Mar 04, 2007 14:57

As salaamu alaikum mdlian, I understand your situation, but was the father violent to the children? I only ask because that would be an indication that he is just violent. Some men and women are very violent towards their spouse, yet the most gentle lovingness caring person in the world towards their children. Anyways that is for the ulemaa to say based on individual cases. Here in the west I think it would be very difficult since DFAC gets involved, but in Muslim countries I wonder just what the ruling would be.


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badillos26
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Posted on Fri, Mar 02, 2007 23:42

Assalamu'alaikum. According to the Hukmul islam Children still stay with their mother until they reach the age of Baliqh


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mdilan
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Posted on Fri, Mar 02, 2007 06:44

Ok, well, it all depends what the cause of their divorce was. Right now I have a domestic violence case in the court.I will file for divorce soon. If I ever go back with him (which I will not, of course), and I report domestic violence again the Department of Children and Families will take the children away from me because I did not take action for their safety when I was supposed to, meaning, that if I remarried that violent man again, it was my own responsibility. So to those muslimas out there, be careful not to go back with violent men, 'cause you can really loose your kids. I hope this was an useful answer.


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