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Muslim Blogs > Revoed_NURFITRAH's blogs > UNHAPPY MARRIAGES - DIVORCE AND ADVICE.
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revoed_NURFITRAH
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Posted on Sat, Mar 03, 2007 06:46

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. UNHAPPY MARRIAGES - DIVORCE AND ADVICE. A member personally emailed to me regarding about unhappy marriage, unhappy sexual relationship......., lonely?, no children? and ask about divorce in Islam........... The member does not elaborate the problems..........and I do not ask more, if that is too personal.......... I believe a lot of people may face the same problems, with the same reasons or of different reasonings.......... Since I don't want to disappoint the member, I try to get the answer for the member and SORRY for the delay..........my apology. The comments from the Imam, may not fully answered the problems, but at least could give some guidance and knowledge........... Insya'Allah. May the comments below will at least give some guidance, advice and knowldege to those who face the same problems whether of same or different reasonings...........and also give some guidance and knowledge to ALL..........Insya'Allah. Below are comments from IMAM, extracted from a source: It goes without saying that in Islam it is the duty of the husband and wife to see that they are a source of comfort and tranquality for each other. They should do everything physically, emotinally and spiritually to make each other feel happy and comfortable. They must care for each other. Islam enjoins husbands to deal with their wives with kindness, decency and fairness. Intimacy is a mutual right for both husband and wife. This has been best summed up in the Quranic imperative: "And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness........."(Al-Baqarah:228) Therefore, the husband should not deny himself to his wife and the wife also should not deny herself to her husband. They should do their best to satisfy their marriage partner. A husband who without any genuine reason neglects his wife's needs is as sinful as a wife who neglects her husband's needs without any excuse. We'd like to state that in Islam the marriage of a man and woman is just not just a financial and physical arrangement of living together but a sacred contract, a gift of God, to lead a happy, enjoyable life and continue the lineage. The main goal of marriage in Islam is the realization of tranquility and compassions between the spouses. For the attainment of this supreme goal, Islam defined certain duties and rights for the husband and wife. TO BE CONTINUED...........INSYA'ALLAH. ALLAH KNOWS BEST.


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faith99
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Posted on Sat, Oct 27, 2007 01:26

love wont last long, according to bbc news it only last about one year so what happen if you found love that you seek, but after some time you feel you lost the 'love' would you fill the divorce again ??


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jun17681
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Posted on Thu, Oct 11, 2007 11:23

salam... i myslef would like to know from anyone here who is a professional and mayb can help me....i have been married to a good man no complain but i just have no affection towards him at all... and there has been no intimate relationship between us for the past 3 months and we have been married for about 5months...according to the hadith posted "The wife of Thabit bin Qais came to the Prophet (peace be on him) and said, "O Messenger of Allah, I do not approach Thabit bin Qais in respect of character and religion, but I do not want to be guilty of showing anger to him." (Her meaning was that although Thabit was a good man, she was unable to get along with him and thus might not be able to show him the respect due to a husband. " i feel am not having any kinds of feelings towards muy husband and i feel terrible and very guilty about it.... pls advice me what can i do....i am already not performing my wife duties as not intimacy has been occuring and i don't want to feel that burden thats why am asking for allah to forgive me ....am plaaningon seeking a divorce ...anybody out there who can help me out..pls help me with an advice am i doing the right thing here??


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revoed_NURFITRAH
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Posted on Sun, Apr 01, 2007 05:18

Assalamualaikum, Brother, If everybody think and feel like you, may be there will be no divorce cases. But sadly there are divorce cases everyday all over the world, whether among the muslims community or the non-muslims communities. The problems could come from one party or more than one parties. Sometimes the marriage will be prolonged because of the children. But because of the children, one or more than one person are suffering emotionally or physically or both emotionally and physically. But Allah is not cruel. Eventhough, Allah hates divorce, but it is still halal in Islam. Islam is perfect and beautiful. Whatever problems that need to be solved, Islam has the ways and muslims must follows the rules and the principles. Islam is beautiful and perfect, but sadly humans are the ones who are not perfect......... Islam has rulings and principles, but sadly, sometimes we don't follow the rules and principles. But when problems arise we could not blame Allah and Islam......... Just to make short, we are answerable everything in the day of Judgement. Allah is the Best Judge......... ALLAH KNOWS BEST.


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farid823
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Posted on Sat, Mar 31, 2007 22:26

among the main things about marriage in Islam is protection by the husband towards his wife, be it financially or socially.meaning the wife should feel secured in the sense of finance or social.should the wife dosent feel that her husband fail to fulfill to such, i am sure the wife has her right, to bring the issue up to the muslim court.nevertheless marriage is full ups and down and it is never been easy for anyone to live and accomodate towards each other easily. probaly the longer we spend with someone the better it wil be ( hope so) .


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revoed_NURFITRAH
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Posted on Wed, Mar 07, 2007 08:13

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. PLEASE SEE CONTINUATION BELOW ON 10 MARCH 2007. PLEASE SEE CONTINUATION BELOW ON 18 MARCH 2007. PLEASE SEE CONTINUATION BELOW ON 22 MARCH 2007. CONTINUATION FROM PREVIOUS POST. Continuation - Below comments from Imam: Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, 'The most detestable among the permissible things in the sight of Allah is divorce.' If there is a dispute between husband and wife, they should first try to resolve it between themselves, failing which Allah says: "If ye fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family, and the other from hers; if they wish for peace, God will cause their reconciliation: For God hath full knowledge, and is acquainted with all things." (Al-Quran 4:35) Also He says: "........And whosoever fears God and keeps his duty to HIM; God will appoint a way out for him,(from every difficulty); And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one put his trust in God, sufficient is (God) for him. For God will surely accomplish his purpose: verily, for all things has God appointed a due proportion. (Holy Quran 65:2 and 3) TO BE CONTINUED.........INSYA'ALLAH. ALLAH KNOWS BEST. ******************************** In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. CONTINUATION FROM PREVIOUS. (10 MARCH 2007) Below comments from IMAM: As far as possible, a divorce should be avoided. However, after exhausting all avenues of reconciliation, as a last resort, Allah says, 'Keep with principle or release with principle. If the husband and wife cannot fulfill their respective duties to one another, then instead of committing a sin of violating one another's rights, they should separate. In his answer to the question in point, Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi states: "Divorce is the most hateful thing to Allah, but it is allowed (halal) only in the case of absolute necessity. If a couple tried their best to reconcile their differences, but they still could not agree and they found impossible to live with each other, then only in that case they should separate in a proper and decent manner. Divorce can be initiated by the husband or by the wife. The husband has the right to pronounce the words of divorce (talaq) to his wife. He can also give her a statement of divorce in writing. TO BE CONTINUED..........INSYA'ALLAH. ALLAH KNOWS BEST. ********************************** CONTINUATION FROM PREVIOUS POST. (18 MARCH 2007) Comment from Imam: The wife can seek divorce from her husband through khul', but if he refuses to grant her request then she can seek the dissolution of marriage through the court of law. The Shari'ah has not given the right to a woman to divorce her husband, because only the husband has all the financial obligations of the family. After divorce he will be responsible to provide her maintenance during her 'iddah and if there are any children in the family then he will be responsible for their expenses. Thus to grant her that right equally with the husband while she has no financial obligation is unfair and unjust. The wife can, however, divorce her husband if her husband gave her that right either at the time of marriage or afterwards. Those who need more information they should consult special books on this subject or speak to those who are knowledgeable. The woman who cannot bear to live with her husband has the right to free herself from the marriage bond by returning to her husband the mahr (required marriage gift) and gifts he has given her, or more or less than that according to their mutual agreement. TO BE CONTINUED...........INSYA'ALLAH. ALLAH KNOWS BEST. ********************************** In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. CONTINUATION FROM PREVIOUS POST. (22 MARCH 2007) Below comments from Imam: It is, however, preferable that he should not ask for more than he has given her. Allah Ta'ala says: .........And if you (the judges) fear that the two may not be able to keep to the limits ordained by Allah, there is no blame on either of them if she redeems herself (from the marriage tie by returning all or part of the mahr)........(2:229) The wife of Thabit bin Qais came to the Prophet (peace be on him) and said, "O Messenger of Allah, I do not approach Thabit bin Qais in respect of character and religion, but I do not want to be guilty of showing anger to him." (Her meaning was that although Thabit was a good man, she was unable to get along with him and thus might not be able to show him the respect due to a husband. (Trans.)) The Prophet (peace be on him) asked her about what she had received from him. She replied, "A garden." He asked, "Will you give him back his garden?" "Yes," she said. The Prophet (peace be on him) then told Thabit, "Accept the garden and make one declaration of divorce." (Reported by al-Bukhari and al-Nisai.) END OF COMMENTS. May we get some benefits and knowledge from above comments, Insya'Allah, Amiin. ALLAH KNOWS BEST.


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