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An errant father Sort by:
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sheryne
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total posts: 20
Posted on Wed, Oct 18, 2006 16:04

My poor friend. Her parents are arguing yet again, and at what a time?! In the holy month of Ramadhan?... Everytime her mother complains to her about her father, my poor friend would feel all stressed up because what is she to do? What does her mother want her to do? Her father is an old-fashioned, egoistic man who doesn't take woman's (i.e. his wife) advice kindly at all, no matter how tactful the woman puts it! And I know my friend pretty well. Everytime they have such family crisis, it would most probably affect her work too. In the Noble Qur'an (3:110), Allah has stated that Muslims are the best of peoples ever raised up for mankind because we enjoin Al-Ma'ruf and forbid Al-Munkar. What happens then if a father, meaning head of the family, salats but at the same time has this addictive habit of buying lottery tickets?!! I know it's not those high-stakes gambling at casinos, but still I believe buying lottery tickets is a form of gambling too. I asked her if she has ever tried to reason with her father about his bad habits. She doesn't dare too. Would it be insolent? Sigh... What would you do, dear readers, if you were in this situation? Times like this, I wish we could somehow file a complaint against errant fathers to the Syariah Court. Since they cannot take women's words well, then maybe the court should issue them a letter to force them to go for some counselling sessions to better themselves. If they fail to attend, they should be fined! At the moment, I told my friend that during these last 10 days of Ramadhan she should supplicate this: "O Allah! You are Muqollibal Qulub (One who turns all hearts), please let Papa have a change of heart!"


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AbdulSamed2008
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total posts: 66
Posted on Tue, Oct 24, 2006 14:11

let the troubled read lots of Salawat Allahumme sali ala seyidina Muhammad,the only one that can change the heart is Allah Almighty but do not expect miracles this might be a test from Allah to the woman if she bares with patience Allah will reward her if she rebels agains her husband she will receive punishment.Of course it would be great if the man would listen to reason but some people are really hard hearing.May Allah help them.This is not something new there are lots of people like this.Only tawakul and sabr(trust in Allah and preserving in patience)can help. It would not help to interfere in the relationship except for a local imam that can be invited to talk or close relatives to intermediate. An unknow party might deteriorate the situation.Nobody is helped this way.


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revoed_NURFITRAH
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total posts: 161
Posted on Sat, Oct 21, 2006 09:54

Assalamualaikum, Sister Sheryne, It is pitiful for your friend's family. Your friend's father by right as the head of the family should guide and show good examples to his family, but that does not happen. If your friend's mother still loves his husband, and don't want divorce to happen, she needs to be patient and do a lot of supplications or dua. The wife and children must do a lot of supplications, hope that Allah will guide his husband/father to the correct path and change him to be responsible and good husband/father in the eyes of Allah. The wife and children must also practise to be good muslims and hope by seeing the family, will soften his heart, Insya'Allah. The wife could also practise this dua from the Holy Quran, Al-Furqan (25:74), The above supplication or dua to have a good family and bless by Allah. With Allah's help and blessings, hopefully the father will repent and change, Insya'Allah. Wallahu a'lam Allah knows best. Servant of Allah.


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fatima22
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total posts: 319
Posted on Fri, Oct 20, 2006 06:06

Aslmkm Have noticed that a couple of my friends also have this problem with their fathers. I wonder if the teachings that the husband/father is the leader of the family has somewhat influenced some of them to abuse this authority ( i stress **some**, otherwise i'd have rocks thrown at me next ..lol..) One of my friends was disgusted when she discovered that her father often indulged in ponographic sites. It was an irony to her because he was always demanding that she should wear the hijab, whilst he in the quiet supported the exposure in such websites. She too feared to confront her father and when her mother questioned him, he denied and even scolded his wife for the accusations....but my friend had no brothers and only a very young sister in the house. And she felt emabarassed to seek help from any of her father's older brothers to advise accordingly. She then resorted to sending several anonymous notes to the imams of the mosques where she knew her father frequented, to request that they speak on this topic during friday prayers in the hope of making her father feel guilty about his indulgence. Her efforts must have paid off, for she reported that, Alhamdulillah, her father had stopped the habit eventually. Perhaps your friend could do the same, if there is no one else she could approach to speak to her father about the gambling habit.....??


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