At this time on-line chatting has improved and there are some successful stories. In fact, two guys I know are now married to that online friend. But, we need to do much more in order to better help Muslim girls/guys find a match. What we have right now is not enough.
Currently, girls/guys, find a match through family, friends and the very few Muslim events (concerts, weddings etc.) that we have. Or for the last hope, go to a Muslim country, and marry a girl that you know nothing about. Or, take an American girl (Italian,french,Spanish, irish,Chinese, whatever) and change her religion and hope that she/he learns and can continue your tradition. We have Muslim girls, who are in there mid to late twenties, thirties, and can not find that sole mate or forget sole mate, a one leg/one eye, half brian guy, that is a clean hearted individual and that will love her for the rest of her life. These girls, are from good families, they don't go to clubs until 5 am, meet twenty guys per night. They go to school, work, and back to home. The fun thing they do is go shopping. That's it. They hope and wait to find someone so that they too can start there lives. Alright enough with the sad story. What we need to do is start to have more young (or old :):) ) Muslim gatherings. FUN single's gatherings. Also, have need more selection of web sites, for single muslin to meet. Free site, no monthly payments. At least for the girls. The guys could get a second or third job and pay the monthly fee.:). Personally I think. no member should pay, the site should funds it self through the companies who will post adds on that site, in which it will have millions and millions of viewers. Like the sites that are out and running for right now for Russian singles, Greeks, Israeli singles, etc...
If not, I' II do it my self. Give me 6-9 months. I am working on couple other projects that are not finished yet.
To be continued, your friend, your little/older brother, your financial advisor. This is one of the projects that I am working on, Free Financial advice for Muslim.
Intellect is but scarce in this world ruled by the likes of a bush... quote from the famous sandman!!
When i first came to this site.. i was supicious of the intentions and not sure of the participants of this site... Now i see so many like minded muslim brothers and sisters... But most of all i see muslims sisters who speak out!!! Now thats one thing i have wanted all my life... to see the womenfolk of Islam come to the fore...
I believe in the strength and capabilities of women... particularly because of the women in my life!!! My mother, granny and my dear sisters(blood sisters and otherwise).
Let me illustrate with the story of my grandma. She married at 13, as was the custom of her times. My mother is the third of her five children. Grandma had 3 girls and 2 boys, the boys being the youngest. When my sweet mother was 3... grandpa passed away. My older uncle was 2 and granny was pregnant with my younger uncle. She was young around 20-23 and very beautiful. Many offered their hand in marriage, but she refused, fearing maybe secondary treatment to her children or the undying love for her husband(i'm not sure). My grandpa was a landlord who had lands as far as the eye could see... like in the movies(lol)!! But after his death his brothers and others misappropriated his wealth for themselves. My grandma and her kids were left to the mercy of God. They were forced to live in a hut.. something she had never dont before! The walls were made of dried cocunut leaves, and not of mud, cos they could not afford mud. Anyone could break in at anytime. But noone dared to exploit my grandma, because of her steely determination and sheer guts! She toiled day and night as a labourer, thinking not for herself, but for the welfare of her children and for their future. She educated them as much as she could(which was not much) and married all the girls off by the ages of 18. To escape economic deprivation all 5 migrated to the middle east. Today we stay as the most well established family of our hometown. The ones who cheated my grandma, resented the treatment they meted out to her and now wag their tails like nice obedient.... u know!!
I have always wanted the muslim women to come forward... Education and common awareness is the only way to bring our women forward. When they are educated, they seek out jobs. When they are employed, they have their own money and are less prone to male exploitation. That does not mean women have to forget the indispensible part that they play in the family. She must be a woman first, and then be anything else. Aisha(RA) is a woman who the womenfolk of today must adopt as a role model. History tells us an account of her heading an army into battle. She was an authoritan scholar and about 2500 traditions of the prophet are traced from her teachings. The famous Shafee' Imam had a woman teacher. A woman in the west can never in a million years dream of being a war general. At the least, i ask for the land of the free and the home of liberty to bring forth just one woman president, and have a 'first man' instead of 'first lady' for a change. The 'backward' countries like India, Pakistan and Bangladesh have had women representative elected as head of states at some point of time.
Such feats of women are now rare in the realm of Islam, but to see so many confident muslim women, who realize that partying at a disco or being with 20 guys a week is not exactly life at its best, is heartwarming.
I hope all my sisters, educate themselves and bring themselves to the fore and show their counterparts in other religions that the veil is not a symbol of supression but indeed a symbol of freedom and expression!!!
assalamu alaikum. you are so totally right. Its very hard in america for us to find good matches. for me its been like walking in a mine field. either the guy just wants immigration or there is some problem with the family not wanting an american daughter in law. where i live there is a small masjid but its only open for one hour on fridays and there are no events or any activities to meet ppl. the only way i get in contact with other muslims is through the internet but these sites charge so much money just to be able to say salam to another person. its just not right.
Shahrazad, I agree with you my life will not begin when I get married, it will be nice to get married but i'm in no rush. I don't want to seem as a feminist, us girls are in our 20s, 30,s 40s, and it's not fair that this site charge us to become a gold member to find a match. Please do underestimate us. We work we go to school, some of us provide for ourselves. Well i'm not a girl I happen to enjoy going to work, school, and more than shopping I enjoy bettering myself as a human being spirtually, mentally, physically, and anyway that I can. Just because I'm not out with 20 guys every night and out until 5 am doesn't mean that I'm living a sad life, and doesn't mean that i'm not having fun in the life that I live in. Sometimes I see women on this site say that their favorite hobbies are cooking and cleaning, and it's a shame that some females feel that they have to say that to be able to get husband and that should be the requirements for marriage. I will tell anyone cooking and cleaning is two things I do not enjoy doing, they are not hobbies in my opinion but things I need to do out of neccessity. As Shahrazad said the woman is the backbone of the family what keeps it going, we are strong, we are adaptable, I guess I don't have anything more to say, but what Shahrazad, said was deep and moving and I'm glad that is how women are and should be portrayed as, not hermit crabs living to work and go to school and get married.
In response to your comment , I do feel that a tongue lashing is in order. However, I will try my best to be polite in reproaching you as you are entitled to your opinion.
With all due respect, I must say that I disagree entirely with your depiction of what constitutes good muslim woman "they go to school, work and back home. The fun thing they do is go shopping. And that's it. They hope and wait to find someone so they too can start their live" is pathetic.
A good muslim woman is the backbone of a family and society at large, she is the type to have loved intensely and lost and still found the courage to love again, she is the type of woman that has been marginalised for her opinions but has not faltered and has remained true to herself, she is the the type of woman that when death snatched her beloved from her grasp and tried to break her, she fought to stay alive and was mentally resilient. She is the type of woman when life dealt her a raw deal, she still found it in her to be compassionate to her neighbours and humanity.
I have known women who have no formal education, who did not work in the corporate white collar jobs, who thrust themselves into life to feed their families from labourous jobs. I can assure the least of their concerns was to "to have fun at the mall shopping".
The prophet muhammad (saw) is the best example and he as a husband was very playful with his wife, helped out in the house...nowhere in islam does it say that a marriage is a contract (much like a job contract) where the wife is required to clean and do the dirty laundry. One does not need a wife for that.
A wife in my opinion is a partner in life who shares you ups and downs. Who is a shoulder to lean on as much etc...they are not "waiting and hoping to find someone so they can start their lives", life starts when one is born! Marriage is another stage. Marriage is a blessing but its not the be all and end all of everthing. What happe...