ONLINE DATING=HARAM Romance Forward to friends

  • View author's info Posted on Oct 29, 2005 at 05:14 AM

    As Salaamu Alaikum Wa Ramatallah Wa Barakotu
    First an foremost are there any alims or scholars in this site who have spoke on this topic? All i see is brothers and sisters proclaiming to know if utilizing this site to meet people is halal or haram. I am yet to see Qu'ran, Hadith, or Sunnah to support either side of the discussion. Without the proper authority, Qu'ran, Hadith or Sunnah how can we sit here and pass judgment on the halal or haram! Judgement is For Allah s.w.a and Him alone!
    As Salaamu Alaikum
    As Salaamu Alaikum Wa Ramatallah Wa Barakotu
    First an foremost are there any alims or scholars in this site who have spoke on this topic? All i see is brothers and sisters proclaiming to know if utilizing this site to meet people is halal or haram. I am yet to see Qu'ran, Hadith, or Sunnah to support either side of the discussion. Without the proper authority, Qu'ran, Hadith or Sunnah how can we sit here and pass judgment on the halal or haram! Judgement is For Allah s.w.a and Him alone!
    As Salaamu Alaikum
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 22, 2005 at 10:12 AM


    i just wanna give my command to u..i think u rite,why can we said online dating = haram,what if we just find a good friend from another country...its called silaturahim rite... thank's for the attendtion...w/s

    i just wanna give my command to u..i think u rite,why can we said online dating = haram,what if we just find a good friend from another country...its called silaturahim rite... thank's for the attendtion...w/s

    Members Only

  • View author's info Posted on Oct 12, 2005 at 11:33 AM

    I thought the name "MuslimFriends" meant just that? so what would be so haram about meeting other muslims? it's only another way of meeting people. We meet new people everyday, opposite sexx and all! but is that haram? not at that stage, its what you choose to do after that , and the way you start seeing that other person is when things change. We have choices we make under the will of Allah. So if we choose to "pick up" with the intention of finding a wife or husband, why not!
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 09, 2005 at 11:23 PM

    Abdus ZAAHIR
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 09, 2005 at 11:22 PM

    Abdus Z AAHIR
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 03, 2005 at 01:26 PM

    As-salaam-ualaikum brothers and sisters (yeah, I said brothers AND sisters),

    I agree with tanveermd 100%. His comments should have been enough to put an end to this argument. But unfortunately, it looks like this argument will go on forever. And I think that is understandable since different people will always have different points of views. But the one thing they I can't understand is why people who think this site is haram continue to join it, and continue to take advantage of it's features. You would think that if someone truly thought that this site was wrong they would avoid it. It makes you wonder how many other "haram" websites they join while telling people it's wrong to join "haram" websites.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 03, 2005 at 08:46 AM

    ONLINE DATING=HARAM??? Hmmm... I like this one better: SELF RIGHTEOUS JUDGING=HARAM. Believe it or not, everyone didn't come to this site looking for someone to "hook up" with. The way I see it, this is probably the safest way to meet someone of the opposite sex and enchange thoughts and ideas, but still retain the propriety, tastefulness, and morality required in Islam. (After all, it's certainly harder for me to engage in debauchery with someone who lives thousands of miles away.) I also think that you can
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 18, 2005 at 10:07 PM

    this is haram brother your intentions when you came on line was lust so you have already committed adultery cut the crap this is not of god this is shaytan
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 18, 2005 at 10:05 PM

    brother,and sisters, if your intentions are of lust/sex in the end this is haram {you have already committed adultery, so cut the crap}when you decided to date online you lusted you committed adultery. dating on line is haram. thats why love is important.and it is permissible if the father gives away his al hamdallah brothers will understand allah knew brothers would be dating online this is haram sisters this is the reason why hijab is important because you will already make the brother commit adultery so stay modest insha allah this will remain our practise. you should hope to ask allah for forgiveness.your brother in islam
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 06, 2005 at 06:42 PM

    The scholars will tell you it is haram and you should not do it. Personallay, I think it is great way to find your sould mate and get to know someone before marriage. There is no physical contact and you know if you are compatiable with the person. It is great for Muslims especially in America because you do not have to go to intermingling social gatherings to find a partner.
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 14, 2005 at 11:04 AM

  • View author's info Posted on Jan 14, 2005 at 10:17 AM

    Salaam to all muslim brothers and sisters,

    Haram - First of all we are not in the capacity of Imam/Ulma to delcare haram.

    Online Meeting/Dating with NON-MEHRAMS is permissible and safe for all women. As no person is involved bodily. We can chat also as many muslim women in the past during the days of prophet use to send letters for proposals/business/dealings etc. You can even communicate with NON-MeHRAMS in Hijaab and on phone, voice, chat.

    Except you cannot travel/roam/study/video/speak directly with out Hijaab with NON-MEHRAMS.

    Please dont make Islam and its values a taboo. Kindly sisters so young should not speak publicly as you are not qualified scholars/ulmas.

    Read Quran first Surah Nisah and follow we are the people of book and messenger. So Follow Quran where Allah the Almighty is communicating directly with you. Then follow Sunnah through proper Hadees.
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 21, 2004 at 11:04 AM

    Asalamu wa alai kum to all.
    Thanks to you all for your input. Tanveermd i would like to reply to you. I'm just wanted to say that In the sunna if a women has no family male guardian then the local imaam is to take this position. Any way , I think we did agree on somethings as I said that the website/ internet / technology it self is not harram. We could have a gender specific site for each gender where mahrams could visit to find a partners for those they are responsible for. (wud this work , i dont know. My opinion is that it is more dangerous for famales especialy younger ones when their families are not aware they have put up a profile. I tell you what happened to me once: I got contacted by a sister on purenikka and began discussing compatability with her. We both agreed that we shouldnt continue takling too much (through email) and meet families as soon as possible to continue seeing if were compatable. My god , then she told me her family didnt even know. So all my hopes and excitement was wasted. I'm not a bollywood hero people ,lol. I dont wanna be running with someones duaghter and fighting her brothers lol. So I gues the moral of the story is 1. We cant even trust when it states "posted by parents" and 2. Girls start seeking without permision because their parents are un approachable and will not listen and or have some one lined up for their sons and duaghters that are not suitable.
    With regards to the whole issue of these wb sites, i can not give an ultimatum (as i havnt b4) as this would be a rulling / fatwa and i am only a lay man. So until I ask an Alim -Allah ho Alim. However some aspects are obviously wrong i gues. I ask Allah to guide our Ummah and to educate us all and Parents regarding the sunna. ameen.
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 02, 2004 at 10:08 AM

    In Reply to Bashiri7 message .
    " islam does not discriminate on the basis of race, creed , or color.
    however every person comes from a different culture and geographical location in this world , now they may be muslims but culture and lifestyle differs . like saying iam a pakistani so i would enjoy the company of " A pakistani" more than anyone coz we have a lot in common , same thing with long term relationships. so it is not only religion but also culture and territorial background that plays a very important in relationships.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 26, 2004 at 11:42 PM

    Brother Abdurratin you made some good points. I realize that the word immigrant covers all non-native born Muslims.

    There is a true distinction between us in the area of National cultural identity, which is not the same as Muslim identity.

    I reassert that racial discrimnation is a fact of life when it comes to how immigrant Muslims look at American Muslims. If one is African American, then this is more true than it is if one is European American. If Blacks are African American, then who or what is an American?

    Who does not know that Immigrant Muslims are discouraged from marrying Black Americans. No matter how long a Black Muslim has been in Islam, most immigrants still display a condescending attitiude. Personally, my foreparents were brought as slaves from the Senegal-Gambia reigion of West Africa. My Islamic affinity goes a long way back.

    Black Muslim Associations are often looked upon with suspicion and contempt, while Pakistani, Arab, and African social societies flourish without the same negative connotations. Many don't even like to hear the term Black. This a term that Is used interchangeably with the term African American by many whose descendants were brought to this country from Africa by European Slavetraders, who were aided by some of the Arabs and Africans.

    I have carefully observed how many of our African brothers act toward Black American Muslims. African Muslims socialize with their own, speak their own dialects whenever they want to keep you out of their conversation, as do Arabs and others from abroad. They even do this inside the masjid. I believe we all know the proper Sunnah on this issue.

    A stricter interpretation of the Deen? You mean Wahabism? No thanks! We have never accepted that innovation in America, and we never will! There is a stricter or less strict interpretation of the Deen that is more viable. There is the majority and minority view. The applications are conditional and Allah has made provisions in Qur'an, or The Prophet S.A.W.S. has given us the correct way to approach this issue through the Sunnah.

    It does not take a rocket scientist to know that Muslim Rule and non-Muslim rule, Muslim Lands and non-Muslim lands bring about differnt applications of various principles.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 22, 2004 at 08:30 AM

    As-Salam Alaikum:

    I checked out Brother Bashir7's profile and found it to be quite interesting. I have to admit, however, that I am certainly not here to correspond with brothers. But, there are things in his posted meesege and profile that stick in my mind.

    First of all, I note that he and I have somewht similar backgrounds.

    The brother states that racism is promoted by many immigrant Muslims. What troubles me most about that statement is that he has drawn a somewhat arbitrary distinction within the Ummah between so-called native born Muslims and foreign or immigrant Muslims. Clearly many African born Muslims would fall within the category of immigrants. So, we find ourselves promoting arbitrary divisions among Africans based on where a person or his ancsters orignate.

    As far as the issue of racism is concerned, the time is long over-due when we as Africans both Muslims and non-Muslims must deal with the many problems within our community without sticking our heads into the racism sands. Not the least among these are the problems of sexual immorality as expressed in loose dating, pre-matital sex and children born outside of marriage, and children growing up without the benefit of two parents in the household, etc.

    The question that I pose in view of all this is, don't you think that many of our problems could be solved by a return to traditional Islamic values as expressed in a stricter interpretation of the Qur'an and Hadith?
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 01, 2004 at 07:49 PM

    I will attempt to eliminate Sister Alika's confusion in this matter. Online dating = haram only if it is done the wrong way and is halal if it is done according to Islam and within the confines and boundaries of Islam. It is the proper use or misuse of this website that is halal or haram and not the website itself, provided it is established for a good cause. Newspaper, TV, Radio, DVD, or Computer itself are not haram, it is the manner in which they are used is what is halal or haram. We cannot condemn a media or its inventor or owner, but we should condemn or approve its contents and the way it is used.

    Brother Itaqillah, where does this website claim that its intention is to propagate fornication or adultery? Instead of targeting the owner or the inventor of a media, we should use our energy to target its contents and those who misuse or abuse it. We should target the morally offensive profiles of people who are trying to abuse this website and make efforts to get those contents removed, rather than condemning the owner or the management, or the website itself. If some people start posting profanity and morally offensive and Islamically unacceptable profiles or pictures and the management does not take any action even after it is brought to their attention, only then can they be accused of assisting in propagation of immorality.

    In Islam approaching and communicating with the opposite sex is not haram, it is the purpose for which it is done and the way it is done is what makes it haram or halal. Allah has allowed communicating and meeting with a non-mahrim provided it is for a good cause, is done with good intentions, and is within the confines and boundaries established by Him. Men have lost their religious commitment and women have lost their honor because of their own actions and because they transgressed the boundaries established by their Creator and not because of the existence of a website, which was created for a noble cause.

    Brother Itaqillah, before offering advice you should follow it yourself please. According to you it is not permissible for men to visit this site but you visited this site, or maybe you dont consider yourself classified among "men" ! We should try to become better people and improve ourselves and not pass judgement on others or condemn them. Only Allah has the right to pass judgement. We should fear Allah and be prepared for the Day of Judgement, and the life Hereafter, where we will be held accountable for our actions and their consequences. We should urge and advise people to do good (maruf) and refrain and abstain from bad and evil (munkar) but without being judgemental.

    I agree with Sister Saady that "bringing people together for the holy and honorable purpose of matrimony is a very good cause. In old days match makers used to do the same things. In modern days, computer is doing it. I see no difference here. Now I do agree that that are people out there that use these sites to do un Islamic things but you cannot blame the whole site for this." This is even more relevant in a place where Muslims are a minority and find it very difficult if not impossible to get in touch and communicate for the purpose of matrimony, and to exchange views and ideas, and help each other understand Islam in a decent manner. That will definitely help unite and strengthen the Muslim community. However I do have one objection and that pertains to Sister Saady not following the Islamic dress code in her displayed picture.

    Brother o2004, I agree that it is preferable to communicate to your prospective mate through a guardian or with the guardian's permission and supervision. However a potential mate may not have a guardian, or may not have a "male" guardian. In that case will that person never be able to get married? Also physical barriers may prevent the presence of a guardian or mahrim, for example, if 2 potential mates are living far away from their parents or relatives and it is not possible for a guardian to directly supervise their communication. It also is dependent on the age, and the mental maturity. Someone in their 50's may not need the presence of a mahrim or guardian ! What it all boils down to is "taqwa" or the fear of Allah for if that is not present all the guardians in the world will not make any difference ! It also boils down to our intentions; something done with a good intention may be halal and the same thing done with a bad intention will make it haram. In this modern day world people of the same gender chatting may not be ok and could be haram too, depending on their intentions. Our intentions may be good, but the act may not be according to Allah's Will and that also makes it haram, but that is not the websites fault but the users fault !

    Finally Brother StudentInIslam, NO ONE and NO WEBSITE can guarantee that people will communicate or meet according to Islam. The only thing that can guarantee that is ourselves and our "taqwa" (fear of Allah, with strong belief in the life hereafter, and the awareness that all our actions will have repercussions). If we lack "taqwa" we should forget about communicating or meeting with anyone anywhere. May Allah give us all guidance, strength, and patience, and make us better Muslims.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 07, 2004 at 09:10 AM

    wa subhan allah u hav taken d oppertunity to say a lot abt d ppls who hav abused d good work d site is providing , any way do u have any other way to forward ur sujessions , like how to help d pple like us to find a life partner,and any way what r u doing hear ur a paid member ,first try to purify ur self than advise others mayAllah bless u
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 06, 2004 at 01:12 AM

  • View author's info Posted on Sep 30, 2004 at 10:27 AM

    Asalamu wa alai kum to you all. well what a discussion.
    Basically your all right in a way. If people of the same gender are chatting through a site like this then thats ok. if some like me is looking for a partner but will only communicate with the mahram /male gardian of the girl, then thats ok. But I as these are all mixed on onre site, it is not islamic as we insaan are weak and generally these sites are just like free mixing between the sexes which is indded harram. Seeking a marriage is an islamic act of worship. An act of worship in islam is defined as intention soley for Allah and the act in occardance to the Sunnah / way of the messenger(s.a.w). So even people like me and i'm sure like you lot, whos intention is correct, the act is not in occrdance with the sunnah. The piont is that with me I try to only stick to people been put up by families on various sites but as lines became blured, i would stop using and trust in Allah and try have sabar. But thrn every few months I come for some reason either cos of my friend or cuse i'm sent a message or some thing. Hadith " when a male and female are together by them selves Shaitan is the third" so it might be inocent but then through whispers the weak people say why nort speak on phone, then why not meet up to be sure b4 telling families, then ?;>??? who knows. I ask Allah to give stronger imaan and sabar in the islamic way and also to help all you aswell. Check or (P.s How come all the people critisising have got profiles up??)
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