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Stay or leave
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Posted on Mon, Oct 08, 2012 21:30

I don't believe my relationship between my husband and I will last. It's possible he married me for immigration purposes. We have only been married for a year now. We have had disagreements about our finances. We have had disputes about his reasoning for marriage. I feel that these things are what lead him to be distant from me. When he and I met, I was divorced for 4 years living alone with my children. I feel as if I am ok with this only if he just confess. There is truly nothing I can or want to do about it legally. I just want peace of mind either way. He left to visit his country for a month. We chatted the whole time he was away and when he returned to the states he has not made any attempt to be with me and did make any attempt to be with me before he left. It has been over 2 months since we were intimate.



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Posted on Tue, Mar 12, 2013 09:43

I think before and avobe all put your trust in Allah! Let him be in between the two of you. Dont let insecurities or fears take over you. Instead of that focus on becoming a stronger individual, by thoughts and actions. ( fast and make duah) The first year of marriage it is very difficult since couples are getting used to eachother. Try to talk to him but not when you feel vulnerable ( i.e being upset or feeling sad) Pray and when you feel calm then ask to speak with your husband and ask for him to make duah with you so you both can talk with a clear mind. If is meant not to be Insha Allah things will work!  then you will know in your heart you did the best to make it work, but even then it should be a mutual decision and not an outspurt of impulsivity or desperation.


Best wishes. 
If you need to talk you can feel free to send me an email through this site.



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Posted on Fri, Oct 12, 2012 19:21

Unfortunately this sounds very similiar to many other stories I have heard.  A man marries a foreigner, promised love, devotion, care and respect.  They get into the country and then they become distant, even sleeping in another room.  Once the Permanent Residency is obtained they leave and divorce the women.
I pray this is not your fate but fear it is.
These men are disgusting and it goes against Islam.  For their own self gain they lie, use and hurt women and then somehow justify it to be an ok thing to do.  Which it is NOT.
My advice is to be prepared, save money so if this happens to you the shock wont be as harsh and if it doesnt happen, then that is a good thing.



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