It's OK, bigblue. You are looking for your love and you are right. We are responsible for our happines and have a right to do everything possible to be happy. I can give your some pieces of advice if you like. First of all use every chance. I mean be active in your searchings: go to different entertaining establishments, visit dating sites. Then listen to advices of people successful in this sphere of life, read some psychological literature. Why not? May be you will find something useful for you. And the third-if you like to talk to somebody write to me. May be my experience will help you.