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Duty to family
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Posted on Tue, Mar 13, 2007 03:20

Salaam everyone
I was hoping that someone may be able to give me ideas about what to do. My brother has children and I have 1 child. In our traditional family the boys were always favoured over the girls and it still continues. My parents travel for over 6-10 hours to see my brother's children whilst my daughter is completely neglected by them and we live only 45 mins away.
I have tried taking her down to see them more but there has been no improvement. I know they are my parents and should be respected but I find it very difficult to bear sometimes as I know that in Islam there should be no favouritism with your children, especially not because of their sex.
I have thought of other reasons of why they favour my brother's children but can't find any.



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Posted on Thu, Mar 15, 2007 07:26

As salaamu alaikum sister,
This is only my opinion. Find as much material from the deen as possible on parent child relationship, sit with your parents and explain what Islam requires of you and how they are making it difficult and how you wish to make it better.



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Posted on Wed, Mar 14, 2007 18:39

salaam sister well well well....snap im in the same boat as u are and i can understand what u are going through...the only difference is that my brothers dont have kids...my mom has always favoured them over me..i try to be the good daughter but there are times whaen i just want to scream..luckily my dad was the best..unfortunatley hes dead but noone can replace him n he never favouritized anyone but his daughters.
when i was young my mom always use to say to me that daughters should not be loved because when they grow up they are going to earn n give what they earn to their inlaws..i used to hate this..now that we can talk she always goes on about how much money and property she would leave behind for her sons and she always says that if your brothers tell u to have ur share i know u wont coz u dont really need it..i mean i live in poverty n she says this..wot can i say.

when my sister inlaws came here my mom didnt want to know me, coz she thought that they would start to have kids, n they would be prioritized over my children, i wanted to cry when i would hear the sarcy comments she would make to my children. but now i have learned to live with it. sometimes its best to turn a blind eye, after all shes ur mom n ur not gonna get another one, ur heaven lies underneath her feet, n sometimes when u have illiterate parents its best to do what the prophet(pbuh) said respect ur parents even if they are illeterate because thats what they deserve. the reason for this is because they have raised us and fed us the same way we do with our children.

ur mom is probably doing this because he lives far away, as ur from the UK as well i would say that its in our culture to stay with our parents but when we dont our parents feel left out, at the end of the day boyz will be boyz, they are alwaysgoing to be mummyz boyz and will always stay like that for ever.

just wait when u have one, its diferent for me i have 4 n 3 girls for me my daughters r everything.



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