Polygamy marriage Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Oct 10, 2005 at 04:06 PM

    What do you think about polygamy (having more than one wife)???
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  • View author's info Posted on Apr 21, 2008 at 02:10 AM

    Assailam O Alaykum,
    Just came across this site today and it's really great having a forum page to discuss these issues. I'm on a couple of other marriage sites and they don't hvae anything like this, which is great for people like me who are trying to improve their deen.

    From personal experience I know friends/family/neighbours who have had more than 1 wife, but I can't agree with it because of their reasons for wanting more than 1 wife. One guy was about 60, had 3 elderly daughters but no son, so he went to Pakistan and married a 21 year old girl from a poor background, had a son with her, brought the son back to UK and has now just left her there, which I think is a disgrace.

    Also, a friend married a second wife because he said he was bored with his first wife, which I think is a terrible reason again for having more than 1 wife, but his 1st wife is very unhappy about it and he is unable to support them both financially, and now he says he's getting bored of the second wife...
    I'm afraid I'm not as knowledgeable about Islam as most people on this site, but I'm starting to learn again, so I don't know the reason for the Prophet (PBUH) having 4 wives, but I don't think in this day and age you can really justify it in the UK. I think it's just guys like my friend who just want to mess around and try to legitimise it by marrying the girl and then getting divorced when they get bored with her.

    Slightly off topic but I also think people get divorced far too quickly these days as well. I know at least 3 or 4 guys in my neighbourhood who got divorced within a year, one of them after 2 months, and they weren't arranged marriages or anything, but the first row or something they're not happy with, they just get divorced instead of trying to work it out. I don't personally agree with arranged marriages, but I don't know anyone who's had an arranged marriage and got divorced. Just seems they're more willing to try and make it work for some reason.

    That's my 2 cents anyway.

    Peace to everyone,
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 09, 2007 at 03:28 PM

    Salam to all
    The first condition for having polygomy for men is that they do everything with justice between wives and it is ordered too much in Quran and Hadith.
    Polygomy has other conditions too, but i dont think men can do the first one as real justice.
    As much as a wife should be very good as a lover, friend, beloved, wife, mom of children,a sweet companion and sometimes baby and mom also for her hubby, he should be the same for his wife and so they dont have empty space to go to others.
    Islam doesnt let women to hv polygomy for it is important to know who is children's dad. but if her hubby doesnt treat her good, she has right to get divorced him bcs of it.
    Anyway prophet is the best human being, world had ever seen and no man can compare himself to him! ;)
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 01, 2007 at 11:14 AM


    u posted very well
    i agreed with u

    God bless you:)
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 22, 2007 at 02:24 PM

    One of the reasons a woman can't marry more than one husband is mainly due to the practicality of such a situation, like determining who is the father of the child when the she gets pregnant...

    And also physically, it can be a toll on the woman to have to look after more than one husband simultaneously because women can never run from society's expectations that in each household, it is the wife who is responsible for the housework, cooking, laundry, child nuturing, and in addition, catering to her husband's needs, even if she may be holding a demanding job....
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 01, 2006 at 08:09 PM

    as-salaam alaikum sister don't go back out there you will get blessing by being a good caring mother for your children their is a good muslim man out there for you. don't go back out there like that.
  • View author's info Posted on May 31, 2006 at 11:27 PM

    the allowed of polygamy in islam is very clear. but not all of the halal things we must do it. anyone can perform polygamy or not to.
    it is depend on the circumstances of ourself. so, if you want to polygamy, so on if you can perform the duty of shariah. if you can't, don't think about it.
    to all of my sisters, you can choose to be part of polygamy family or reject it. but don't deny the law of the one god. or you must choose to perform tammatu' (fixed time marriage) that you can asking not to polygamy as one of your willingness to marry with a man.

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  • View author's info Posted on May 07, 2006 at 06:19 PM

    hanif2003 write:
    as salamu alaikum dear respected sisters and brothers. I would like to say a few things, first when we speak of our nabi PBUH our commander in chief we should try our best to GET IT RIGHT. Our Nabi had more than 4 wives at one time and this was only for him

    Assalamu aleykum, CORRECTION
    our beloved prophet (Saws) had more then 4 wifes until the verses were revealed that muslims should marry 1 2 3 or 4) then the prophet (saws) complied with these verses so after that he had no more then 4.
    Allah knows best
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 24, 2006 at 06:14 AM

    I don't understand how anyone can compare the prophet's (PBUH) polygamous marriages to other muslims today, to back their claims. This is just another male reflex action, to get us muslimahs to zip it.
    And nobody has the right to say who is a good muslim and who is a bad muslim, that is for Allah to decide.
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 17, 2006 at 06:37 PM

    Do you live uin the U.S.? You wrote everything that I feel about polygamy. I did a research paper on it. Well the real issues are tha I am a singel mom, I have 3 children, two live with me, niewther one of the father's were man enough to marry me. I want to be married so much that I am tempeted to live with a man that I would despise (a drinker, smoker, unbeliever). They come up to me alot and needless to say my children's father's are like this. On the other hand I have some Muslim men who I know don't want to be married or they are married and still want to have a woman on the side, but when emotions get involved, regardless of how intelligent they sound, the don't know what to do. although it looks and seems as if they feel it too, but can not do any more than they are now. I can't keep living in sin, but if I am not married soon, I am afraid of perdition. I also don't want to get married just because I want to prevent sin, I want to be in love. I know that it is possible to love more than one person at a time, because you love each one in different ways. i wish we could sing a petition to get this legalized, I need this for me and my children. I grew up in adysfunctional family who could not express love and I fear loosing my children as I lost myself, I used to have a strong mind but after having three children and no husband I hate living. i am tires, cranky, and can only look at what I don't have. All that is good is tha I can not afford the time or the money or my health for that matter to go out and get the liqour to drink until I can't think anymore. Help!
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 12, 2006 at 03:01 PM

    Assalamu Alaikum.

    Some people say that marrying more than one wife is not allowed unless a person has orphans under his care and he fears that he will not do justice between them, or something else. Then he may marry their mother or one of her daughters. For evidence, they quote the verse:

    {And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls, then marry women of your choice, two, three or four...}, [Soorah an-Nisaa., Aayah 3).

    This statement is false.

    The meaning of the verse is that if a person has under his care an orphan and he fears that he will not give her the proper amount of dower, then he should marry other women, for there are many women and All?h will not make things difficult for him. The verse points to the legality of marrying two, three or four wives. This is allowed because it leads to more chastity, lowering of eyesight and guarding of the private parts.

    Furthermore, that is a cause for more children and the chastity of more women, as well as them being treated properly and cared for. There is no doubt that the woman who has one-half of a husband or one-third or one-fourth is better off than the one who has no husband at all. However, one must meet the condition of justice among the wives and the ability to take care of and tend to the wives. If a person fears that he will not do justice, then he may only many one wife in addition to having slaves. The practice of the Prophet (sal-Allaahu
    alayhe wa sallam) indicates and stresses that. When he died, he had nine wives. And Allaah says about him:

    {Indeed in the Messenger of Allaah you have a good example to follow}, [Soorah al-Ahzaab, Aayah 21].

    The Prophet (sal-Allaahu
    alayhe wa sallam) made it clear to his Nation that it was allowed for him to have more than four wives. Therefore, following his example on this point would mean taking four wives or less. Beyond four wives is something that is specific for the Prophet (sal-Allaahu
    alayhe wa sallam) only.

    In a Hadeeth about the Prophet (sal-Allaahu
    alayhe wa sallam) ?Aaishah stated:

    "The Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu
    alayhe wa sallam) used to divide his time between his wives and he was fair. He used to say:

    ((O Allaah, that is my division with respect to what I have control over. Do not blame me for what You control and over which I have no control)). This was recorded by Abu Daawood, at-Tirmidhee, an-Nasaa.ee, Ibn Maajah. It was graded Saheeh by Ibn Hibbaan and al-Haakim.

    So sisters follow Quran and the Sunnah, not your feelings or your sick heart.
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 07, 2006 at 08:03 PM

    wow n mashALLAH... as a women i can understand y some sisters wouldnt agree to their husbands having 4 wivz includin herself.. i myself wouldnt agree 2 it either, but in da deen islam, we all have 2 follow da rules in da quran n if my husband want 2 have 4 wifes or so i will let him, bcz respect n lov i have for him. in ISLAM, we womens have 2 obey our husbands wishs n all that he asks for.
    BUT TODAY IN THIS GENERATION, ITS DIFFERENT NOT ALL OF MAN FOLLOW DA deen da correct way... FOR ALL MY BROTHERS i hope that ur in da best spirit in islam n higest imam...
    good luck with those who plan 2 marry sooon n those whom r lookin...
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 07, 2006 at 09:31 AM

    Assalamu Alaikum wa' ruhmutullahi wa' Barakatuhu!!

    What can you handle? 1 even? Does not the man have to take permission from his wife should he want to marry another? Ok, yes I'm young and does it make me a bad muslim if I say, I will do a chop chop should my future husband want more than 1 wife.. or even takes 1.

    My idol is Lorena Bobbit! for this alone I think unless I meet a man who is seeking total commitment in a relationship, then I should stay away from marriage, keep my frozen heart frozen!
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 06, 2006 at 02:47 PM

    selamun aleykum to everyone,
    i totally agree with Sena2000..
    it s not necessary to marry with 4 women in this time..It also requires heavy obligations to person who is dealing with....thanks for listenening..

    Hi Sena,
    this Yasar from New york ,USA...
    i really like to talk you..
    Yasar is a Turkish name if you wonder...
    i dont Know our email but..
    my emails are

    pls call me...lutfen...
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 26, 2006 at 07:45 PM

    assalamualaykum;To the sister that said call her a bad muslim yes you are abad muslim to say the least a un beleiver and very selfish. you don,t beleive in ALLAH and his messenger sws.WHen there coe to woman their are 10 woman to each man.AND by the next 10 years it will rise to 15 woman to one man do the math.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 26, 2006 at 06:58 AM

    Need to get 1 wife first, never mind 4! lol.

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  • View author's info Posted on Feb 21, 2006 at 09:21 PM

    as salamu alaikum dear respected sisters and brothers. I would like to say a few things, first when we speak of our nabi PBUH our commander in chief we should try our best to GET IT RIGHT. Our Nabi had more than 4 wives at one time and this was only for him
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 01, 2006 at 11:42 PM

    Replying to Sandra2001 and sena2000's comments

    personally and seriously, i think i would be able to love every woman i marry. I think those non-player guys who are real would be able too. The only thing is they would have to accept each other too, else it would be a disaster. Its just like having four children, you would love them equally, and not choose.

    Im not talking about taking wives for sexual needs. There are still women who need that kind of protection, probably not in canada or some well to do place, im talking about places struck with poverty.

    I understand you wouldn't be able to share the person you love. I won't be able too. But from my point of view its easier for a woman to share the person she loves because allah made them special, tolerent among other things.
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 16, 2006 at 05:10 AM

    Selamu alaikum brothers and sisters.

    As far as polygamy is concerned, i.e a man to marry up to 4 women, we should not forget that Allah has made it clear in the Quran that it is allowed. So no one can say that it is not allowed because if someone does than he has tried to make haram what Allah has made halal and by doing so this person becomes a disbeliever.
    So be careful when expressing your opinion.
    But when it comes to wanting or not to marry 1, 2, 3 or 4 women then that is another question.
    So if someone marries more than one woman than he has to be careful and go by the book (Quran and Sunah), because if he doesn't treat them equally he will be countable in the judgment day.
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 16, 2006 at 03:56 AM

    Call me a bad Muslim, or just call me human, but I wouldn't allow it. I feel that for every woman there is one man, and *vice versa*. Any man who doesn't agree won't be marrying me. My man told me that if another man ever touched me, he would "kill him." I told him I feel the same way. Just the thought of him being with another woman drives me insane, so I say, "Absolutely not!"
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