Issues of american and non-american womens ? marriage Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Jun 27, 2009 at 12:06 AM

    Please add your comment if you see any other issues ..
    these are base on my experience and knowledge only
    i think this kind of comments can help you little bit.

    they are too freedom maniac ,they are rude and dumb enough to expect endless respect ..
    they expect to be treated as a political figure or something like a quin ..
    they are way too sensitive ..
    they dont know nothing yet about the islam or the culture of the man they are not open to learn new things ..
    its almost impossible to have discussion with them
    they have a obesity problems (%80 of them overweight) yet they think they are still attractive ( you are ugly if u re fat)
    they can think formal but not informal

    They are arrogant
    they care about money more than american women
    they stupid enough to hide their picture (has nothing to with religion)
    those who has a picture usually have no clear enough or good enough picture some of them are irritating.
    they are a lot more money oriented
    they are trying to act like american women
    most of them dont know much about their religion
    some of them are not mentally stable

    (i've recently removed my picture bc i dont expect anything anymore from women on this site)
    additionally :
    you ladies are pathetically hopeless ,you are stacking up bunch of wishes from men and you find some of the who can fulfill your stupid requirements but many of them ending up with divorce ,why ?? Because you are stupid enough to see the inner personality as much as their business and social profile .im not sorry for those who ending up the failure ,bc you had made a stupid with it ,
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  • View author's info Posted on Feb 21, 2013 at 12:52 PM

    Assalamu Alaykum sister Yasmim Fatima.
    For you I have one word: MASHA'ALLAH!!!!!!!!
    Sister you hit the nail right on it.
    Sometimes I found that most of the man that is ssssssssssssoooooooooooo critical of women, most the time they are the hipocrity ones, because they want a women that prays, but thenselves dont know when to pray Isha or fajr, they want a women that will stay with him and acept his flaws but yet if the women isn't like the top models, movie stars, she isnt a marriage material. He wants a women that is try to the best of their possibilities to be like the prophet's(SAW) wives But only if she is a "Aysha" young and virgin, but if she is like a Khadijah, Hafsa, Barr, a widow, mabe destitute and in need may or not have kids and is need of a husband to protect and give a real sunnah marriage, those brothers will say : No thanks! and Close the door on their faces.
    Other brothers just see the american convert/revert women as the " once a Kafar always Kafar" and see those women as such for informal fun, immigration ticket or just a second marriage material or give alway for those brothers that cant really marry( Exemple: very mentally ill, very old brothers that is in need of a nurse not a wife, brothers that cant finacially able to maintain a family....etc)
    Talking about taking care of a family... Alot brothers who accuse the sisters to be materialistic-money-hungers-golddiggers-women are those that cant really afford a family and expect that althoug he might have the rights of demanding higher qualities for "his wife to be" to fufill( skini like a Victoria Secret model,cook like Ammeril,housewife skills like Martha Stwart, PHD in medical neuro-surgery,beautiful like a hollywood/bollywood actress, humble like madre Teresa, Young like Aysha, gentle-chaste-pure like Mary, able after taking care of the house, chores, kids, in high hills make up on and looking fresh and ready to "love" as soon as he walks at the door....) that the same women shouldnt not expect more than bread, water, sex and a shack as his obligation as a husband...And for any reason women whom just like the man does have expectations and ASKS FOR HER RIGHTS UNDER QURAN, he will just tag her as money hunger, when Quran says that any man that is not able to provide for a wife and kids to come, he should, lower his gaze, pray and fast, so until Allah'atalagive him the means to marry. Women does have expectations like man do. Women dont have no moral, physical or religious obligation to marry any man to save him from commiting Zina, to safe guard his own deen is SOLE his obligation.
    Also I found very hipocritical that a brother only wants a women with a degree, like if a degree will make her more or less than a good wife/mother. Prove is that our great grandmothers and grandmothers, mothers, etc are better housewives than we will be. Most of them didnt even go to school ,yet is remembered as the most pious, lovely, religious women in our family.
    Is umbelievable that a brother expect a sister go trough a medical, engeneer, law school, etc, waiste all that money, slepless nights, study time, etc to get the degree and use it just to get a husband and than just put that degree aside in some closet drawer and just have kids and take care of the house. I think is funny that a brother refuses to marry a women that have been a housebound, marry the PHD Chemistry professor and comes back stamping and complaining that women have no clue in how to  cook, etc right after marriage. Doesnt man knows that takes the same effort for a women to get a degree same as he had? How you can learn how to cook, clean,  embroired, taking care of babies, be a wife, when half of the day you are stuck in a college/university the other half you are studying?
    So I asked you want a housewife? Marry one. Because chances are dear brother a highly professional sister will want to excerce her professional degree after so many YEARS OF STUDYINGS AND SACRIFICES to get it.
    For the "its almost impossible to have discussion with them"  statment. Brother are you planing to discuss politics with your wife? World economy? What would happened that your wife have economica-political views different from you? What you would do if you belive Ghadaffi was a monster and your wife have a t-shirt saying: Ghadaffi Rocks!!"(juust a exemple) , are you prepared to acept a higher intelligent point of view yet oppose to yours? Or you statment about some muslims women you cant have a conversation with them, is because you want to talk about things as such love, romance, kisse, hang out before marriage( aka DATE)? and they tell you a big round NO!  Or you mean discussion as you give your opinion and if she disagrees, she can just shush and praise how inteligent and ALWAYS right you are?
    Women can be very passionated in discussing things, is just the matter if the man wants to listen to it. Do you want a smart women? Look for one, dont go to the "bimbo" type that only think about nails, make up and clothes, even she is the most beautiful good looking girl you will ever met, maybe you should give the chance to that girl/women with an average look but a great mind. You cant have all, you need to compromise, have expectations but be flexible with it.
    And know that not always the opposit atracts each other. A beautiful, well qualified girl from a economical stable family will want a life partner same range or higher than hers.
    So unless you are rich like Bill gates, Handsome like Bred Pitt and a NASA Aero-Engeener, you should look for the girl on your average range.
    Good luck on your search Inshaa'Allah.
    Allah Hafiz
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 16, 2013 at 02:14 PM


    they are too freedom maniac ,they are rude and dumb enough to expect endless respect .. 
    I am not 'freedom maniac', rude, or dumb and yes I do expect endless respect JUST like YOU. I am a woman, not to be mistaken for anything less than that. Just like ALL women. Even the slave is given respect in Islam. Why would you even want to treat a woman, your sister, mother, future WIFE with anything less than that?

    they expect to be treated as a political figure or something like a quin .. 
    We are to be treated like queens. Don't like it? Don't get married. And just because we may or may not demand our RIGHTS that does not make us a bad person. The Prophet PBUH said "The best of you are the best to their wives(wife)". You don't get married to a woman to degrade or disrespect her. We were made from man's rib, not to be abused by him, but to be loved and protected by him.

    they are way too sensitive .. 
    It might not be that we are 'too sensitive', but that you are exagerating. We deal with all sorts of verbal and sexual abuse by our society and when we come to Islam we are promised that it is some how going to change because we are Muslims and will be protected by Muslim Men. You don't understand how heart breaking it is when we are shown exactly the opposite. It's like we were lied to about Islam! 
    they dont know nothing yet about the islam or the culture of the man they are not open to learn new things .
    Most women in the USA who are on here looking for a husband are reverts to the religion and do not have a community in which to look, such as myself. We have very limited resources to learn about the glorious religion of Al Islam. As a husband, it is a part of your obligation to educate her of her religion and any children you might have. Men are the Imam of their homes. Islam is not a culture, it is a religion. Islam allows the culture of the Muslim's native country so long as it does not go against the teachings of Islam. Yes, there are some who don't adapt well to different cultures, but that isn't just for women, it goes the same way for men. Even if the woman bends backwards to to learn to please her husband, he almost NEVER does the same for her.

    its almost impossible to have discussion with them 
    What do you consider a 'discussion'? Not all women are interested in video games and cars. Maybe you should  look into expanding your intellectual horizons as well as the woman's who you are wanting to marry or perhaps pick a current event to discuss. Remember, when you are discussing something, you are asking her OPINION. It's not a debate for who is right and who is wrong.
    they have a obesity problems (%80 of them overweight) yet they think they are still attractive ( you are ugly if u re fat) 
    Yes, some of us are overweight. Some by choice, some by genetics, and some because of medical reasons. The ones who are overweight by their own choice, yes rag on them all you want because they have no excuse. But for the rest, deal with it. Allah didn't make us all to be twig models for Dior.
    they can think formal but not informal 
    What is 'informal' that you want to talk about? You shouldn't be talking to non-maharam women for 'fun'. You are talking to a woman for MARRIAGE, not for fun and games. It is a formal inquiry for the rest of your life. Don't like it? Have your parents arrange your marriage for you so you don't have to deal with the different modes of talking.
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 08, 2009 at 08:44 AM


    I hope you are all in the best of health,Insha'Allah.

    I couldn't agree with you more sister Krina99,(Muhammed2019 and Noubia1877) unfortunately as you say and are most probably right,a bad experience has more than likely upset brother Sean090.I sincerely hope and pray my dear brother Sean090 that you settle down with a wonderful sister with peace,calm and tranquility in your lives,ameen.Take care, Allah hafiz
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 08, 2009 at 02:12 AM

    Salaam alaikum brother,


    You sound really angry and I must agree with noubia and Muhammed2019 you need to calm down.

    Please don't take this the wrong way but maybe if you keep attracting the women you describe you probably should start by firstly looking at yourself. All of us are looking for someone to love (thats why we are here) and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that alot of us are still looking having had a couple of negative experiences (I've just had one still not blaming the whole male race). It doesn't mean that the whole of the opposite gender is bad, mean and awful.

    It also doesn't mean that there isn't the right person out there for you. Have some faith in Allah. At the end of the day no woman/man can make you happy if you don't have any faith in Allah and believe that all that happens may be  happening for a good reason that you may not understand at the moment.

    I wish you peace



  • View author's info Posted on Dec 06, 2009 at 05:43 PM


    I'm not sure who offended you or hurt your feelings but assuming you are in America, you really have not choice if you don't see anything good in American women or non- American women...what else is left? We are all human are sometimes need to vent our frustration, but you may want to think about what you put out really can't label all women based on what you have experienced from one or a few who may have exhibited the characteristics you have noubia1877 said...take it you truly are a beleiver you know that things will work out, just don't burn all your bridges, you may have to cross back over one day....Peace.
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 24, 2009 at 12:30 PM

    take it easy brother. you are losing it. don
    t let one woman behavior drive you crazy. not all of them are the same. you just have to face the reality sometimes.
    put yourself together. there should be one for you one day.
    Sorry for the comment if I offend you.
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