not to be mistaken for dr.phil
most people see life as a fight,to do this and that,to get this and that,and then relationship follows the suite.
getting over ourself might be the hardest thing to do,or to Will it at least.
I donnt know what kind of person should i marry with,but i think the first thing is:both of them should fit for marriage,caring,considering,and leave enough space for each other so that can get along well with two parts!
LOVE AND FEAR OF GOD, SECRET TO UNITY
Loveth Allah, the creator of man
And love amongst man will happen on its own accord
Loveth Allah, struggle for the love of man is unnecessary, it is automatic
Loveth God, love and care, and unity amongst man will develop
Fear God, inevitably man will fear to do wrong amongst men
More so with God, man?s fear will deter him from transgressing His commands
Love and fear of God is the secret to unity
It is the key for love amongst mankind
For love and unity is a matter of the soul
Not a matter of physical relationship, the physical merely follow
When the heart and soul relate intimately to Allah
Relationship and intimacy amongst man will automatically follow
This is the secret unknown to secularists
Who attach importance to the mind and neglect the soul
Who idolises the mind but kills his heart
Whose mind shines but his heart is in pitch darkness
Consequently there is darkness in light
For light of such brightness blinds his eyes
As the sun that shines too brilliantly
The eyes unable to behold and see
Such are the secularists
Because his mind is too bright,blinding his heart or soul
So he deviates from the truth
He suffers darkness in light
maryammuslim write: salam everybody. i'm fed up for marriage, don't know what to do, what to say, ain't it too tough? i'm 28 years old now, it's time to get married, but no matter how hard i try, i'm always the loser. maybe this kind of games only happens to the strange draculas who are like me. anyhow, just wanna know, how people get married in their lives? is marriage so much dramatical? or just i am the only person who can not figure it out. or it's better for me to give up, remain single for the whole life?
Marriage is not that hard. It's a long term contract, so people are careful about those things, but marriage is possible, in my opinion.
I know what you mean Sister! I am 26 this year and my family are stressing that I should get married... & soon!!!
I agree that 25 is a good age to be married, but if you are not ready mentally (as I wasn't!) then you should do it when the time is right and when (of course) it is Allah's (SWT) will.
Have hope and have faith....
Very good advise and brilliant answer! :) Yes, it's more important to seek a husband who has religious piety rather than the ones that have a prestigious job but lack the love for Allah (Swt) and Rasullulah S.A.W.May Allah bless all of us with pious life partners. Ameen.
"The moment i first heard of love
I gave up my soul, my heart and my eyes.
I wondered, could it be that
the lover and the beloved are two?
No, they have always been one.
It is I who is seeing double."
I say, don't just sit and wait for a man to want youor choose you. Go after what you want! Also, what are you looking for specifically in a husband? Too often we as Muslim women have the wrong concept of an ideal husband. Nowadays, Muslim men looking for wives advertise themselves as being financially secure. Muslim women fall for it, hook, line, and sinker. It seems like many of us believe that a man is an ideal Muslim husband if he is handsome, makes a lot of money, and comes from an influential family. Rarely do we even mention character, religious convictions, and attitudes as a priority!
As Muslims, we must start basing our judgment on what makes an ideal Muslim husband on the guidance of Allah (SWT) and the example of Prophet Muhammad (SAWS), not on the standards of a TV sitcom, the culture in which we were born, or our own materialistic mentality. Being an ideal Muslim husband has nothing to do with the amount of money a man has, physical beauty, or the prestige of his job. What about his commitment to Allah (SWT)? He should have knowledge of and willingness to follow the guidance of Allah (SWT) and the Prophet's example, and a commitment to do righteousness even in difficult situations.
The ideal Muslim husband should be humble, gentle, kind, considerate, caring, loving, open to good advice, willing to cooperate with others in his family rather than dictate rules, helpful in the house, involved in raising the children, and never abusive either physically or mentally. A perfect example, of course, is the Prophet Muhammad (SAWS), who was an ideal husband and father. Insha'llah, you will find him, sister. Allahu akbar; He knows best.
myself I was willing to marry any muslimah anywhere in the world including yourself from china, I have sent you a wink, a message and no reply from you , what did you do from your side to let me know you that you are still single intressted ???
There is no doubt that patience is deemed to be the key; that we must rely on Allah's timing and not our own. Yet, let's face reality; it is difficult to be patient and alone, especially when we see all around us people in committed relationships or married while we are not. It is even more difficult for sisters who must provide for themselves and in doing so are often deemed less than marriage material because of that independence. Being active in the community isn't always the way either; on this I speak from personal experience because if anything my involvement in the community, while respected, seems to intimidate brothers. My imam has told me not to be concerned about that, but I don't think he understands the vital importance to me of being married. If I wait any longer, I fear a cloud of gloom will set in that cannot be erased.
Wa'alaikumassalaam Wa Rahmatullah,
Sister, keep in mind that Allah is the all knower and the best of planners. It's easy to get into a depressed state of mind and worry about the future but Inshallah you will find the best of husbands at the time that Allah has chosen for you. Its better to marry young but if that is not desired by Allah than who are we to complain? Keep up you daily activities, make dua in every salat and try to pray tahajjud and fast on Mon/Thu. Allah tests those whom he loves, you may be tested now but Inshallah you will feel relief in the future.
salam alykom my brothers and sisters
marriage is a sustenance from allah and allah guide good men for good women(al taibon lel taibat)so only we should ask allah toguide us for the bedt partener in our life and depend on allah in this matter with hearts full of believe that allah will give us
Yes brothers and sisters ..
it is now Adha Eads ..
We have to keep in our mind that we muslim and marraige for man and woman is necessary for muslim life ..and necessray to muslim society ..
We have not to marriage from non muslim ..else they convert to Islam ..
because muslim woman is better than any other woman in world ..and if we marraige from non muslim we cause one muslum girl be without marraige
Allah with you
Allahoma Salli ala Muhmmad
Allah, knows her mach if there's one.. but we still have to remeber that God also said, that we should go for it and he would give the bless.. witch means that she needs to do more than JUST waitting. I don't know if I'm right, But Khadija, the first wife to Mohammed (3alayhi al salam) she did ask him out.. Not the known way of today off course. but there is other ways of finding a husband than just waitting. using the right way off course..
If some of u feel, that I'm too much wrong and feel to discuss, than I hope u write back.
My dear sister nothing happens untill Allah says for it to happen. Allah may be preparing you for your mate and he for you in the mean time increase your Iman, read more Quran and take more time out to get closer to Allah. May Allah bless us All in what we NEED.
Patience is the key, dear sister. Everything is written in Lauhul Mahfuz. The most important thing is that we must be a humble servant and ask from Allah All-Mighty. Make du'a in your daily prayers and ask Allah to guide you to the the best husband for you.Have faith in Allah (Swt) and Rasullulah S.A.W. Allah knows best for His beloved Creations.
May Allah bless you with a pious husband soon.Ameen.
You seem to be fed-up and quite hopeless. Which is not good. I can understand you situation. I know that the time comes in our lives when we become hopeless and fed-up of everything or just don't see any pleasure in living anymore.This happens when we start believing in this worldly life and forgets the teaching of islam. This is the era when everybody only believes in materialism and we go in the same flow.
You know its Allah who created this world and its Allah who set this examination for us. This world is nothing except a small time period given to us for making choice of ultimate success or ulitmate failure.
have you seen criples person who has got no legs or no hands or when you see a deaf or blind person what do you think then? Have they done something wrong before their birth so thats why they have been punished for that. Nooooo
Its Allah who judge you by putting you into timely situation and check ur patience and Imaan.
So never loose hope. Offer your prayers regularly and practice islam. Inshallah every problem of urs will then be solved.