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The issue of Domestic Violence in our Deen
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Posted on Fri, Jan 21, 2005 10:46

As salaamu alaikum to all that read this post.

I am very concern about the state of our Deen in regards to the treatment of our sister's in Islam. There are Thousands if not hundreds of thousands of sister's living currently with an abusive husband. A husband that uses the Deen to keep there foot on the backs of our beloved sister's , mother's and daugter's in Al Islam. These Muslim Sister's have very little if any help from their respective communities. The brother's that are responsible for these abuses are virtually given a slap on the wrist while my sister lye beaten and bruised on a mattress locked in her bedroom. When will it stop? How do we help?I have a problem with my mother not being able to chew her food properly because my father just punch her in the mouth. And you ask me what did she do to upset the brother? My own daughter can have any more children because she was beaten so badly that she needed to get a partial hysterectomy. Please some one tell me what hadith or what ayat can support the destruction of our future nation. We cannot continue to allow this to happen. Our wives are important elements to the building of a new nations and a better understanding of traditional Islam by way of the offspring.
I Ask Allah to aid us in grasping a better way to deal with these issue's and criminal act's of violence against our sister's. Let those of us who are concerned be the one's on the front lines making a difference in the life of a sister in distress. Wa salaam



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Posted on Fri, Aug 25, 2006 08:56

thank u brother ata1997...that was very helpful...coz the next step iwas gonna take was to get an islamic divorce from my husband...i was a bit hesistant but when reading ur comment i am more admant now then ever



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Posted on Tue, Aug 22, 2006 05:14

Salam Alaikum
I am a muslim from Palestine
I would say view you this Ayah from our holy book Quraan
34]
the translation of this ayah is as folloeing:

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because God has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what God would have them guard. as to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance): for God is most high, great (above you all).
ur brother from Palestine



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Posted on Sun, Aug 13, 2006 05:06

salaam brother..u know u brought a tear 2 my eye whilst i was reading ur comments on domestic violence...yes its true that in the sharia it is permittable for the man to raise his hands on a women, but that is for a reason..ie if she is having an affair...i think any1 man or women would feel the same hurt...but there are some men whoes wives are good women but they feel that its their duty as a men to sort their women out if the house work isnt done or the dinner isnt made right...the sister below gave out bits n pieces of the quran and the hadith...but it would've been wise to translate it in english to make it understanble for the norm to understand and read it properly...its easy 4 any1 even the non muslims 2 point out chapters and ayyats from the quran but its hard 4 the normal human being to understand the meaning n depth of the religioun...islam also staes that a man who uses force against the weak will also pay for his actions...nonone is free from the sins that they impose on the weak..so i ask my sister to once again to understand religioun b4 bits n bobs are translated without understanding..



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Posted on Fri, Aug 05, 2005 21:29

[Shakir 4:34] Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.
[Yusufali 4:34] Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).
[Pickthal 4:34] Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.



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Posted on Fri, Aug 05, 2005 21:24

Salam,

Dear Abdulali,

I list for u from Quran, surah An Nisa'

[Shakir 4:19] O you who believe! it is not lawful for you that you should take women as heritage against (their) will, and do not straiten them in order that you may take part of what you have given them, unless they are guilty of manifest indecency, and treat them kindly; then if you hate them, it may be that you dislike a thing while Allah has placed abundant good in it.
[Yusufali 4:19] O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may Take away part of the dower ye have given them,-except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.
[Pickthal 4:19] O ye who believe! It is not lawful for you forcibly to inherit the women (of your deceased kinsmen), nor (that) ye should put constraint upon them that ye may take away a part of that which ye have given them, unless they be guilty of flagrant lewdness. But consort with them in kindness, for if ye hate them it may happen that ye hate a thing wherein Allah hath placed much good.


[Shakir 4:25] And whoever among you has not within his power ampleness of means to marry free believing women, then (he may marry) of those whom your right hands possess from among your believing maidens; and Allah knows best your faith: you are (sprung) the one from the other; so marry them with the permission of their masters, and give them their dowries justly, they being chaste, not fornicating, nor receiving paramours; and when they are taken in marriage, then if they are guilty of indecency, they shall suffer half the punishment which is (inflicted) upon free women. This is for him among you who fears falling into evil; and that you abstain is better for you, and Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.
[Yusufali 4:25] If any of you have not the means wherewith to wed free believing women, they may wed believing girls from among those whom your right hands possess: And Allah hath full knowledge about your faith. Ye are one from another: Wed them with the leave of their owners, and give them their dowers, according to what is reasonable: They should be chaste, not lustful, nor taking paramours: when they are taken in wedlock, if they fall into shame, their punishment is half that for free women. This (permission) is for those among you who fear sin; but it is better for you that ye practise self-restraint. And Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.
[Pickthal 4:25] And whoso is not able to afford to marry free, believing women, let them marry from the believing maids whom your right hands possess. Allah knoweth best (concerning) your faith. Ye (proceed) one from another; so wed them by permission of their folk, and give unto them their portions in kindness, they being honest, not debauched nor of loose conduct. And if when they are honourably married they commit lewdness they shall incur the half of the punishment (prescribed) for free women (in that case). This is for him among you who feareth to commit sin. But to have patience would be better for you. Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.



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Posted on Wed, May 25, 2005 17:29

I know MF is particular about handing out URL, but Insha Allah, just this once--it could realy save someone's life. May Allah bless you in your endeavors.



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Posted on Wed, May 25, 2005 17:12

Salaams all. Here's a seminar that deals w/domestic violence in our ummah. Here's the info:
The Peaceful Families Project

Islamic Principles for Peaceful Families

Sunday, May 29, 2005: 9:30 am ? 5:00 pm
Great Falls Grange
9818 Georgetown Pike,Great Falls,VA 22066 USA
***
Do you (or someone you know):
Feel controlled by your spouse? Are you intimated or afraid at home?
Do arguments end in pushing, shoving or hitting? Do you feel belittled
or insulted? Any of these are indications that you are living in an
abusive relationship. If you know someone experiencing such
circumstances, now you can learn how to help!
Speakers: Imam Johari Abdul-Malik, Salma Abugideiri, Ambreen Ahmed,
Zainab Alwani, Imam Mohamed Magid, Daoud Nassimi
Topics: Types of Emotional & Verbal Abuse, Signs of Abuse & How You
Can Help, Quranic Model of Muslim Family, Islamic Perspective on Family
Abuse, Islamic Law & Divorce, Marriage Contract Issues

Workshop Objectives:
The objectives of the workshop are to:
1. Raise awareness in the general Muslim community about Domestic
Violence.
2. Increase understanding of the Islamic stance on conflict
resolution, marriage, divorce, and family relationships.
3. Begin identifying acceptable and effective interventions.
4. Build bridges between religious leaders and professionals in the
field.
5. Begin to identify commonalities and conflicts between Islamic
and American law.

Muslim social service professionals, Islamic scholars and Imams will
facilitate the training and a certificate will be provided for
completion of the training. Halal lunch will be provided. Child care
is available.

The registration cost is $25 (financial aid available!).

Child Care: Avail w/pre-registration



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Posted on Thu, Mar 17, 2005 22:00

insha allah brothers will understand by knw means necessary is this an attack on islam

subhannallah



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Posted on Thu, Mar 17, 2005 04:49

men who beat women are nothing but who have too much ego.it is not islamic to hit anyone you cant even harm yourself so where do you get the right to hurt someone else it is lack of education and enderstanding that make us bad muslims nowadays we are muslims by name only.to men who like to hit women next time you get the urge go pick on somebody your own SIZE cos when you get punch back you might relize how painful it is!



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Posted on Fri, Feb 25, 2005 22:12

Assalamualaikum,
The basic problem these days is that Muslim men do not follow Islam properly yet force the women to do so without setting up an example.

Another problem is that lack of adequate knowledge makes them think that they can do anything to their wife.

However there are many men who treat their wives properly also.

Basically this problem would be solved if men set up a good example themselves by following the Islam.

This would also help in makeing their children pious as most of the children follow their parents.



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Posted on Mon, Feb 21, 2005 05:21

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Those who suppose to honour & protect are infact doing the opposite! They are in direct violation of the Quraan and the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (SAW)!!!!!

ALLAH(SWT) has created man to protect, honour and provide for his counterpart.

I can understand that today both parties have to work because of the cost of living, etc. But in the same ligth I would expect men to respect women for doing that. When in fact the very opposit happens...they feel intimidated that perhaps women get better jobs or earn more money than them and I have found that in most cases these men eventually become abusive to their wives.

They have no way of dealing with their insecurities etc and these frustrations build up and they eventually lash it out on their wives....


So were are the REAL men who will abide by the laws of SHARIAH!

Do they intend to protect honour and provide or rape women of the respect and status that ALLAH (SWT) has given them!

Tooni

  


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Posted on Mon, Feb 21, 2005 05:21

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Those who suppose to honour & protect are infact doing the opposite! They are in direct violation of the Quraan and the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (SAW)!!!!!

ALLAH(SWT) has created man to protect, honour and provide for his counterpart.

I can understand that today both parties have to work because of the cost of living, etc. But in the same ligth I would expect men to respect women for doing that. When in fact the very opposit happens...they feel intimidated that perhaps women get better jobs or earn more money than them and I have found that in most cases these men eventually become abusive to their wives.

They have no way of dealing with their insecurities etc and these frustrations build up and they eventually lash it out on their wives....


So were are the REAL men who will abide by the laws of SHARIAH!

Do they intend to protect honour and provide or rape women of the respect and status that ALLAH (SWT) has given them!

Tooni

  


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