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MOTHER IN LAWS(THE BOYS MOTHER)
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Posted on Sat, Jan 07, 2006 08:35

why do you think that the mothers are unhappy with marriage in Islam this is not always the case?

im sure in some cases you will have this happen where the mother may not like the daughters or son's partener but most of these cases arise when parents are not involved in finding the husband or wife for their child when it is their duty to find or to ask for the mates hand not the man and woman coming to gether and asking for it...
because your parents should be pleased with who you marry before u get married its very important in a healthy relationship

other times ive seen where this was the case was if the husband and wife live at the parents home for a long time, this is not suggested in islam either u should live in a separate home when you are married.

there are many other reasons why but most of the main reasons are because people are not doing things the way Islam has taught us to do things minus a few...



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Posted on Fri, Oct 12, 2012 19:41

I married a Pakistan man and he came to Australia.  We had many differences but also got along very well and had many laughs.  Our main issue was his Muslim belief because he was so strict on some issues but then made excuses for non islamic behaviour and I thought this was being a hypocrite, but this was just a now and then issue.  The other was his mother in Pakistan that constantly had her hand out for herself and the other 5 adult children that didnt work and this drained me financially.  Sometimes I would be verbally abused for not giving them money, although I believe I was very generous and often sent a months worth of food, bought her a new fridge and helped with medical issues, more than I did for my own mother.
My husband went to visit Pakistan in December after many years of not visiting, and was skyping me every day of his love for me and he missed me so much he even returned from his holiday early.  His sister was getting married and wanted many thousands of dollars that I refused to pay as I already had sent a few thousand that put me in debt.  His mother told him to leave me so his wages would not be going on household expenses.  So he did, only 2 months after him coming home early because he missed me, he left me after 7yrs marriage.
I agree with an earlier post, this women will have to answer to Allah.   Yes she now gets more money off her eldest son, my ex husband, and he supports his 5 brothers and sisters but he lives now in a caravan, with no potential of marrying again as he never has money.
Being a mother myself it is beyond my comprehension how a mother can sacrifice a childs happiness when my joy comes from seeing my boy happy.

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Posted on Sat, Apr 21, 2012 02:21

My mother in law and sister in laws' controlled my marriage. This man never grew up, even at age 40. We are now divorced and he is living with his mommy at his sisters house. I have my two teenage kids. This man was so worthless, I had to pay him off to divorce him. While we were married , he had no ambition whatsoever. Told me since i brought him here from Pakistan , I was suppose to support him forever. He worked when he felt like it.
Never marry a Pakistani man



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Posted on Mon, Dec 13, 2010 12:56

my mother in law didnt like me since the day she heard about me bcos i am a few years older than my husband (her son). She told the neighbour that she should accept her daughter in law who is 10 years older than the neighbour's son, but she cudnt accept me bcos i'm 5 years older than her son (my husband).

She reads all her namaaz, she is regular in reading the quraan, she wakes up for tahajjud every day and she even went for hajj. When we got married, we lived in his parents house. She continuously caused problems until she finally asked us to leave. We stayed with them for 3 years, then moved on our own for about 2years. Then my father in law passed away 6 weeks before i cud give birth to our 1st child so i felt sorry for her and my husband's younger brother who is a little disabled who lives with them, and i told my husband it would be okay to move back in with her to look after them.

My 1st child is just over 3 years old and my 2nd child is almost 1 and a half years old. Moving back in with my husband's mother was the biggest mistake of my life. She deliberately does the most weird things and axpects me to accept her actions as normal. We all felt sorry for her bcos she also lost her 1st sona nd her daughter in law in an accident about 5 years befor my father in law passed away.

She feeds my children cake for breakfast, she wipes their sticky mouth with her fingers when they drool when they suck on a sweets and then licks their spit off her hands, she sneaks into my room when i'm in the shower, on eid day she walked passed me as i stood with open hands to greet her and went to greet my children 1st, she only bangs the dishes and works noisily in the kitchen when the kids are sleeping, she only talks loudly on the phone when the kids are sleeping, she deliberately keaves the house unlocked and door wide open and goes out visiting and shopping while i'm napping with the kids. Last month i even caught her peeping into my room through the keyhole of the door when the room door was closed. When i told my husband to confront her about it she firstly lied that it was his disabled brother, then admitted that it was her. All this she only does when my husband is not around. I now keep my children away from her permanently.

So, since the last eid, i live only in my room, and cook only at 2am in the morning when she is gone to bed. Everyday when my husband goes to work, i get up and leave the house with my children and come back in the evebing when he gets back. So far, he has had 7 affairs on our marriage and blames it all on the pressure in the house. It suits him to be this way bcos even when he 1st did it his mother said i was lying against her son and stood by his side while he cheated on me.

I have been employed in a corporate publishing company for 7years and all the money that i earned i spent on spoiling his family and mine. Since giving birth to my 1st child i left work because i chose to be with the children at home.

Today, with 2 kids i have no money and am forced to live with my husband because it wud be easier for him to support my children if i am under the same roof. But i do certainly intend to build a good life for my children and myself once they grow up a little more and are in school, and i will return to work to earn my own living..Insha Allah..

It was my dream to be able to live with in-laws, but after living the life i have, i advise every man and every woman to never live with a mother in law...rather live next door and be near if u want to, but dont live with them.

My salaams and duahs are to everyone.



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Posted on Sun, Jan 15, 2006 07:13

younis24 mashallah u are the lucky one its nice to hear. i pray that allah keeps u happy in ur marriage and life always.



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Posted on Sun, Jan 15, 2006 07:10

my point is that if the husband and wife are happy whether they have chosen each other or not y do the mother in laws have to make the daughter in laws life a misery and do thier very best to break it up esp if they say they are so religious then y r they not afraid of allah thier is no point reading namaz and then committing these sins is there. what have these ppl learnt ppl are just not afraid of allah and it makes me sick these ppl are the 1st to spout religion and the 1st to commit the sin.



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Posted on Sat, Jan 14, 2006 15:27

Asalamu aleykum brothers and sisters
I'm a married who love his wife and her
family and they do love me,but may be i'm the lucky one, I have a underfull
relations with my wive family and she has with mine. My parents are dead now (MAY GOD BLESS THEIR SOUL) but when they lived, they loved her much. So every MOTHER IN LAW can not be a destroyer but some of them are, and best thing we can do is pray and ask the MIGHTY ALLAH to guide us.

WA asalaamu aleykum wr wb.

  


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Posted on Sat, Jan 07, 2006 06:24

if a man and a woman are happy in there marieg life and a third person who ever is interfare in there relationship is doing (gunnah).and if a third person is a mother in law and if she is breaking there relationship then she will be asked from (allah wa tahala)that i mad you a woman and i gave you the value as a mother then why you destroyed your own children life if they were happy.then she will not have an answer and all she will have left just (shame what she has done)may allah guide us all.(amin).



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Posted on Mon, Dec 26, 2005 12:08

Y IS IT WHEN A MAN AND WOMAN ARE HAPPY IN THE MARRIAGE THE MOTHER CANT BE HAPPY IN ISLAM DIVORCE IS FROUND UPON YET THESE WOMEN WHO SPOUT RELIGION ARE THE ONES THAT COMMIT THIS SIN ON BEHALF OF THIER SONS.

  


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