If it is not permitted to date/interact with non mahram, arranged marriage seems the only option for muslims. I am curious about your opinions.
Would you accept an arranged marriage? Would you agree to have your daughters married to someone they do not know anything about accept the general info of the person's age/race/occupation? Can we know a person's real character by just a few meetings with famiy members? Surely people put on their best behaviour when in public, but in private, how can we know if the contents of the package inside is as good as the wrapping outside?
just take a look at the US, full of divorce after they get to know each other. 1st time divorce in US is as high as 60% if not more, 2nd divorce sits at staggering 75-80%. well, lets keep the girl as pure as it is prescibed in Shareea'h
I hope you and yours are in the best of health and life is treating you well,Insha'Allah.
You say, "Surely people put on their best behaviour when in public,but in private,how can we know if the contents of the package inside is as good as the wrapping outside?" The simple answer is, we can't know for sure unless you know an honest (acquaintance)third party who knows the persons character well and is willing to disclose that information to you.
Yours is a very valid question and one I have often pondered over as I'm sure have many others.I feel you don't know the persons real character after just a few meetings with family members.I would have thought the only way you generally get to know a persons real character is when one is married to the person.It wouldn't surprise me if the characteristics displayed or portrayed did not match the true characteristics of a person, afterall they are selling themselves as a potential good catch so why show your not so well liked characteristics? Unfortunately, it's the world we live in ... not to my liking though to deceive another. Wishing you all a good day,take care, Allah hafiz.
I guess it would all depend upon who arranged the marriage and why. I think she would want to know as much about the
person as he would, but I could be wrong. In my case it might work....(lol) It would sure beat living alone!
salaam Fatima..well unfortunately no one knows the ans war to that my dear..n u should not be off marriage because of that either..my only advise to u would be to make sure that person is educated to Ur level earning well and have knowledge of the deen.
i know some of this might sound kinda materialistic but the reasons behind this are valid.
first of all if the man is educated on most occasions he would be able to think on Ur level..it helps if the parents are educated as well..some men are educated illiterates but most ar'nt.
second of all if hes earning good wages more chances are that man would be able to fend for u n Ur future children.
last n not least if the man has knowledge of Dene my dear n he is god fearing then more than likely he would want to live his life the islamic way..especially if he is an educated man.
however it is permitted by Dene to at least get to know him to some extend..if u can do this try to pop him a question which u strongly be live in n then hear his answar.
but the bottom line is that no matter what we can only be ready for what our future holds for us..if everyone was given a gr8 marriage then no one would ever remember Allah [SWT]..but all in all my dear if the man is good n his family is known to be charitable or good ppl then dont decline..especially if he has good knowledge on deen.
i know wot i would do for my daughters..but most parents forget that their daughters have feelings as well. we have the right to say 'no' and Allah [SWT] has given us that right..use it if u feel that hes not the right one for u..
try to live with the rules of the shariah and keep urself strong from with in