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I would like to comment here, if you mean that you have to date a male or female and sleep with him/her for years, stay together for a year or more, love her and then marry, then that is against islam and is not ultimate love that islam is looking for.
What is love, I have mentioned in my other posting... If you both have common goal and common understanding, and have things that matches one another, you will end up loving one another even if you have never met each other before Marriage. I never met my wife before marriage, today we have more than 10 years of happy life and we really love each other.
Yes, attraction has to be there between one another, and thats why prophet was encouraging that before you marry, its good practice that you look at your spouse, there were marriages that were broken at the time of propeht, just because the partners didn't love one another, one woman, told the prophet, that I just don't like my husband, he prays 5 times a day, he is decent person but I just can't stay with him, and the prophet broke their marriage, one girl went to the prophet and said that my father is forcing me to marry a person whom I don't like, and the prophet called her parent and asked him on the reason... The list is endless...
At the same time, marriage is sacred, after one is married, its required to adjust with one another... Prophet says the most hated Halal by Allah is Talaq, Prophet also tells people, that you need to understand each other, its not possible to get a woman with all perfect characters, if you are happy with one character you will not be happy with another character, and this hadith applies to males also, you can't get a perfect husband...Deen is the one which should cement you together and have a common goal...
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