Woman's and Men's Thinking Funny jokes and anecdotes" Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Jul 21, 2006 at 09:29 PM

    Found this on the internet and thought it was funny. Hope you like it.

    Words with two meanings

    Thingy (thing-ee) n.
    Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
    Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

    Vulnerable (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
    Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
    Male.... Playing football without a cup.

    Communication (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
    Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
    Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

    Commitment (ko-mit-ment) n.
    Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
    Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

    Entertainment (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
    Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.F
    Male...... Anything that can be done while with the remote in hand.

    Flatulence (flach-u-lens) n.
    Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
    Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

    Remote Control (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
    Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
    Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

    He said .. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
    She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

    He said .. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
    She said .. .. We don't know; it has never happened.

    He said .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
    She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

    Credit goes to Bill, Narberth, PA.
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  • 5Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Sep 10, 2006 at 12:25 AM

    As one said, why do they make blondes?
    So men will like them. Why do they
    make blondes dumb? So they will like
    the men.
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 04, 2006 at 05:58 AM

    Adam said: do you love me , dear?
    Eve replied: who else?

    ha ha ha

    I am not late, boss. I just took my coffee break before coming in. ha ha ha

    Business is so bad that even the shoplifters have stopped coming. ha ha ha
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 30, 2006 at 04:30 PM

    you really shdnt joke about stuff like that..but thats jus my opinion..allah haviz
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 14, 2006 at 10:47 AM

    this was quiet funny when i read it...u know a while ago when i was learning to drive i asked my driving instructor..[who was an old man]...why do men stop being romantic after they get married he said...well once u caught the bus u don't need to catch it again!!!!...

    a friend of mine was going shopping with 3 under 5 yr old...whilst she was coming back it started to rain cats n dogs...she had 2 kids in the buggy n one picked up under her arm..she pressed the button for the pedestrian crossing soaking wet with the kids...when the lights stopped she proceeded to cross over...a truck driver wound his window down and shouted out very loudly...YOU SHOULD'VE SAID NO WHEN U HAD THE CHANCE!!!!!......poor thing was embrassed as hell..

    another joke i would like to share

    a women died and went up to the gates of heaven the gate keeper at that time was on his break..so angel Gabriel had to attend the women..he asked where do u want to go..she said i don't know..he said well I'll show u around.. she said OK..so she went to heaven first n saw ppl working there..she said no i don't want to go there..she angel Gabriel took her to hell...she saw ppl dancing in the disco saying aah eeeh ooh...she said yeah man i wanna come here so the angel said OK n left her there..after 5Min's the devil came...he started to whip every1 real hard the women started to scream..the angel came she said wots this every1 was enjoying themselves wot has happened now...the angel replied...THAT WAS BREAK TIME!!!!!
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 12, 2006 at 08:35 PM


    Very nice wise cracks........
    I really enjoyed it.

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