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want to have a second wife, agree ?
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Posted on Tue, Mar 06, 2007 20:46

Assalamualaykum, as a man i would like to have a second wife or maybe more, and in islam are allowed to have more than one wife, but most of people especially non moslem do not like this idea. is there any women interested to be my second wife ?



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Posted on Mon, Sep 22, 2014 10:27

 

I signed up this to see if others facing the same issue that i am facing....

 

 

 

I felt in love with a Muslim man who is married. If I was in my early 20s, I would turn away from any married man because in my eyes, he is no longer 'available'! However, as I grow older and have a wider circle of friends including Muslims (by the way I am not a Muslim and am thinking about converting), I came to know that it is possible for a Muslim man to have more than one wife, giving the condition that (based on my personal understanding):

 

 

 

1. the first wife has to agree

 

2. he can be justice to all of the wives (including time, emotions and wealth)

 

3. the 2/3/4 wives are not married, i.e. they have to be single

 

4. he can make these wives happy and grow closer to Allah

 

 

 

The issue I am facing is that, because I am not a Muslim (yet), I find it very hard to accept this, knowing that I will be sharing the man that I love to others. Call me selfish but what is the point of marriage if you can’t be for one and the other? For me, if I love someone, he will take up my whole heart. So then how can he divide he's heart into equal proportions among his wives?

 

 

 

To all the dear friends here, please guide me with some honest answers.

 

 

 

Thanks,

 

Bibi

 



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Posted on Sat, Mar 22, 2014 10:56

Second wife?



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Posted on Thu, Jun 28, 2012 17:51

THE BROTHER HAS A POINT SISTER



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Posted on Wed, Aug 10, 2011 10:07

I am also a very good brother to my present wife and am looking for a second now. Not for greed or lusts, but, for the sake of helping to preserve another individuals Chasity and increasing the Ummah (community) of our Messenger (pbuh) as he has requested us to do. Therefore, if there are any sisters willing to be a second wife while at the same time being treaded as if she were the first... Contact me. My name is Usaamah!



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Posted on Mon, Jun 13, 2011 02:21

Quoting manhajsalaf:

Assalamualaykum, as a man i would like to have a second wife or maybe more, and in islam are allowed to have more than one wife, but most of people especially non moslem do not like this idea. is there any women interested to be my second wife ?



Islam didn't introduce polygamy, it limited polygamy with rights to women. It's the only religion that limits polygamy. The bible doesn't forbid polygamy, it forbids fornication. Yet the law is polygamy is illegal but fornication is allowed.

Anyway, in Quran it's only mentioned once but recommended to marry only one if you can't do justice to all. We are accountable for our responsibilities in lives and you should fear this. When Umar Ibn Kattab became caliph he cried and when asked why he said because he feared Allah might make him accountable for even a dog who died because of maintenance of the road as even in a land far away under his caliphate.

But if you have good intention and sincerity to please Allah then this would be successful as in Islam your action is judged by your intention.



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Posted on Mon, Jun 07, 2010 19:23

as sallaam wa alikuum, my beautiful muslim brother in islam i am sister morrocco yes i would love to be your second wife, for the pleasure of ALLAAH "wanting for my muslim sister what i want for myself" Misha'ALLAAH i look at it as a wonderful we to grow as a true muslima with peity & righteousness Insha'ALLAAH i accept all that islam has too offer including polygamy. brother, i have started wearing the veil since i joined this website Misha'ALLAAH brother call me i am ready for marriage,



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Posted on Thu, May 27, 2010 18:21



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Posted on Sun, Nov 08, 2009 07:32





¿

nothing wrong with having 4 wives, if the woman fear Allah and followsm the sunnah, she will submit to Allah's ruling, too bad most of te sistrrs in here are brain washed by this democracy crab.





Asalaam ali com brothers and sisters.

I want to reply to this statement. Why is it that Allah gives the wife the CHOICE to either stay with her husband who wants more than one wife or to divorce him....and I hear so many people say that if she doesn't accept, then she is not living her deen or ruling? I have listened to sisters who cry constantly when her husband marries another and she is living a miserable life. They feel they HAVE to accept it or they are sinning against Allah. This is not true. You are not sinning if Allah gives you a choice.

Allah GIVES the woman her choice as He knows our hearts and understands that some woman can accept it and some woman can't. So, my feeling is that this issue is NOT part of my deen if I chose not to accept it. Allah didn't command woman to accept it - he gave us a choice. So my friend, it has nothing to do with democracy or anything else.

¿



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Posted on Wed, Sep 30, 2009 20:33

AsSalamMualkuim to my Muslim brothers and Sisters out there

Alhumdulillah we are all chatting here and discussing 2,3,4th marriage in Islam. This alway is a hot topic.
Of course there is a need. MashaAllah sometimes I do see a good looking MAN - MashaAllah and he has got it going on and ... Yes he is married. Yes the thought comes straight to my mind... do you want a 2nd wife. :) And all the long term single sisters has had the same thought believe me. But the problem with living in the USA is that even if you are a Muslim man and want to give
both your wives or all 4 there rights ... you can not in this country. There will have to be a legal wife and one two or three Illegal wives .. all the illegal wives that you could not marry on paper will have no rights to property, or social security or benifits that the 1st wife will have. You may try your best but it is harder here. Now the Masjids are making you go to get your USA marriage licence first before they will even marry you. So it will be difficult. On the other hand you have Basketball players making Millions of dollars with one wife on paper and several other women who know about each other and share him sometimes at the same time with no problem... this sickness is looked as okay in the USA but as soon as you say 4 wives the look at you like a freak. I think if you have a man that is going to sleep around why not honor those women as your wife instead of mistresses or babies mommy's who continues to have more children by someones husband. Or better yet these men who think its okay to sleep with other men. This world is getting sicker. I just pray Allah sends me a good muslim man that will lead me in prayer and read quran to me go with me to islamic classes, go swiming with me dance with me and make me feel very special... who is also able to at least pay the rent.
Ameen :)



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Posted on Mon, Jul 20, 2009 23:52

i myself am interested in second wife but my first wife once said to me can you bare to share me with another man i said no i honestly cant and then she said well i cant bare to share you like you cant bare to share me when i think about this i feel sorry for her but at the same time i try to explain to her that your deeds are with you and my deeds are with me and we are all going to die one day we take with us what we earned on this earth and Allah knows best and i know death is only a breath away but what i am seeking is a halal relationship because Islam has made this lawful most men have different reasons for marrying more then 1 wife but no matter what the reason is Islam has giving a man a White to marry more then 1 women as long as he can treat them equal and if we abuse or mistreat them and don't treat them equally because it is hard enough to bare as it is for your first wife then our deeds are going to go with us and on the day of judgment no stone will be left unturned we will have to face our Creator with our deeds



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Posted on Wed, Apr 29, 2009 06:50

nothing wrong with having 4 wives, if the woman fear Allah and followsm the sunnah, she will submit to Allah's ruling, too bad most of te sistrrs in here are brain washed by this democracy crab.

Im gonna marry four insha'Allah.

sunnatullah wa rasooluh



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Posted on Wed, Sep 17, 2008 19:50

many Scholars are under the opinion if you want to destroy yourself get a second wife. I have questioned this with many and most scholars I spoke to have stated you can get married to a second wife in certain circmstances, i.e your first wife cannot have a child, too many women and they need men to protect themselves from sin etc.. Different scholars have different views like some say you need permission from your first wife and some say you don
t, there is nothing concrete I have come across yet.



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Posted on Thu, Jul 03, 2008 06:29

if i married the girl i love ... so i think its imposible mary second ...



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Posted on Mon, Aug 13, 2007 19:53

waalaykumsallam sister,

thank you for your comments, i hope you will learn more about Qur'an and Sunnah, and i hope you will find why Allah Azza wa Jalla give the opportunity for men to have until 4 wifes. please, learn it from Qur'an and shahihul hadith.



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Posted on Wed, Jul 18, 2007 20:27

sometimes even being muslim woman its hard, even impossible to accept second woman around with ur husband. We women know rules, we know a lot of girls at home not married, parents old & 1 rich man may take care of them limited 4, but still for some women, for me as well, hard to accept that there may be another woman who will be sharing beatiful time with my husband.



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Posted on Wed, Jul 18, 2007 20:20

salam alikum brother

do u think its so easy to be a husband of 2 women (im not talking about 4 yet). U better, brother, read hadith about second, third marriages, read whats Quran says besides YES to 4 wifes.Im not showing u what to do, if u know it good for ur akhirat, brother. Do u think it so easy to win jannat having 1 wife?? Dont go for pleasure of this life, think about ur end & life hereafter

pray istikhara, talk to imams
Allahu Alem

JazakAllah Kheyir



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Posted on Sun, May 27, 2007 05:46

as salaamu alaikum ahki,

Being in these modern times has nothing to do with whether or not a person fulfills the rights of their wives. As a matter of fact I believe that it would be harder to do during the times of the sahaaba.
In order to fulfill the rights of others, we must know the rights of Allah, an nabi SAWS, the sahaaba, the salaf, the ulema, our parents, ourselves, our relatives, etc. Without knowing these rights, we can't be just to anybody which is haraam.
As for the husband being just to his wives, this is also a requirement for have more than one. But are we forgetting that the wife has to fulfill the rights of her husband? It isn't a tic for tac (I'll fulfill your rights if you fulfill mine). No, rights are from Allah, and to love and fear Allah, we must give all people their rights according to this perfect deen not our feelings. Even in single marriages, how many sisters do you know of, or heard of give their husband the rights fully? Sorry but not many. We tend to look at what is lawful and try to find excuses not to do it, or allow it, or whatever instead of seeing that Allah knows best what is best for us...men and women. Insha Allah do not misunderstand me, I'm all for the husband giving the wife her rights, but I'm also for the wife giving the husband his.
Having 2-4 wives isn't much harder than having 1. We seem to forget that Allah is the provider, not us. If it is for us, we'll have it. If it isn't we won't. And that is whether we have 1 wife or 4 wives.



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Posted on Sat, May 26, 2007 07:51

manhajsalaf write:
Assalamualaykum, as a man i would like to have a second wife or maybe more, and in islam are allowed to have more than one wife, but most of people especially non moslem do not like this idea. is there any women interested to be my second wife ?

Re:
emangnya gaji kamu berapa puluh juta sih?



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Posted on Fri, May 11, 2007 23:59

Salaam, great discussion going on...
What I think abt this topic is its very complicated...non of us r really aware of what has actually been said abt this in religious books.

from my knowledge i can say that polygamy was in use in olden days as at that time ratio of man & woman was different, few man & many woman. And that too u r binded by certain restriction on when u can have more wives.

Now my view on polygamy in modern era...
Its hard even to manage single wife and fulfill all her needs & still u opt for a second or third wife without even fulfilling their needs its an offense.

& further to say it seems to me as its more related to a man's sexual desire if he wanna have more wives & still not willing to satisfy them & give equal ity to all...

Thats all my views & opinions...no offense to anyone in particular...



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