Age for marriage marriage Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Mar 12, 2007 at 08:36 AM

    I was thinking about this for some time now. What age would you allow your daughter to marry? I know many people claim that they wouldn't allow their daughter to marry under the age of say...17. That got me to thinking that if it were someone of very high status they'd probably change their tone. Islam states that a girl becomes a woman at the time of her menses, or she reaches puberty. So if your daughter comes to you and wants to get married, how would you react? Would you allow it, or not?

    Hadith - Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, No. 1, Narrated Anas bin Malik

    A group of three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him asking how the Prophet worshipped (Allah), and when they were informed about that, they considered their worship insufficient and said, "Where are we from the Prophet as his past and future sins have been forgiven." Then one of them said, "I will offer the prayer throughout the night forever." The other said, "I will fast throughout the year and will not break my fast." The third said, "I will keep away from the women and will not marry forever." Allah's Apostle came to them and said, "Are you the same people who said so-and-so? By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and more afraid of Him than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women. So he who does not follow my tradition in religion, is not from me (not one of my followers)."
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  • View author's info Posted on Mar 25, 2007 at 05:35 PM

    salaam brother,

    well i agree to the fact that girls are supposed to be married n thats it?????...but what about this saying that keep ur deen and duniya???..doesnt that say that girls can not only stay at home but also work so long as its ok with the husband and that she can manage both the kids and the work????..correct me if im i have to look this up n tell u where i read it from..

    not only that but what they earn is for them only n not for anyone else..if the wife spends on the family then it is seen as charity.
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 21, 2007 at 06:37 PM

    as salaamu alaikum sistaa,

    Hadith - Muslim, #3233

    'Abdullah (b. Mas'ud) reported that Allah's Messenger May Allah's peace and praise be on him said to us: O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes (from casting evil glances) and preserves one from immorality; but he who cannot afford it should observe fast, for it is a means of controlling the sexual desire.

    The Noble Qur'an - An-Nur 24:33

    And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His Bounty. ...

    Hadith - Bukhari 3:129, Narrated 'Alqama

    While I was walking with 'Abdullah May Allah's peace and praise be on him he said, "We were in the company of the Prophet May Allah's peace and praise be on him and he said, 'He who can afford to marry should marry, because it will help him refrain from looking at other women, and save his private parts from committing illegal sexual relation; and he who cannot afford to marry is advised to fast, as fasting will diminish his sexual power.' "

    Girls aren't held to the standard of supporting the family...they must be able to marry that's it.
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 17, 2007 at 07:54 PM

    wasalaam brother,

    well i agree with you to some extent and i do understand when you say fitna, but still i dont think that iam ready to marry my daughter of at that age. my mom was illterate and so was my dad, when they came into this country everything was ok for a while, until my dad became a diabetic, he ended up having cataracs, n then went blind, mom tried working in factories but it never really worked, coz she was alwayz worried about dad, coz she had to leave us with him n we were all young then. then a women told my mom about a clothes factory where she would be given clothes at home to sew, so that worked, she used to be on that machine at 4am to 12am..she endeded up getting rehumetios arthrightous.

    she can be in a lot of pain at times, but this is one of the reason's why i will never think of getting my daughter married off whislt she is young, i would prefer that she is educated and can stand for herself if the worse was to come.

    i alwayz lecture my kids on islam and allhumdolillah i have always got great results from them, but fitna can happen to both boyz n girls, so how can you get a boy married off that age when really he cant even support himself?
    personelly i belive that Allah (SWT) has put us into these western countries where we can eat as much as we like for a reason n that is to help others by not only educating oneself but also giveing, n one can only do that if you have the money.

    ppl can help when their are in their own countries, but how many would love and nuture an orphan as if it is their own...unfortunatley not many. i belive that an educated mother not only in deen is more likely to become a better mother when raising her children. yes i know that i can be proved wrong here but that is my own opionion coz i have seen so many women who fail to see small problems when it is so easy to identify, n mostly thats because they are illetrate.
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 15, 2007 at 07:04 AM

    As salaaaaamu alaikum Pagaly, it's been awhile masha Allah.
    Iwould marry my daughters only to men who I know because of hanging out, traveling together, working together, or living together. Others, I would have to ask about and check deep into their background. I'm not looking to marry my daughters off to guys I'm going to have to put my hands on, so the better their deen and character, the easier it would be for me to marry my daughters to them.
    As for the age, I see nothing wrong with a sister marrying when she becomes a woman. My daughter and I spoke about this already and she wants to wait until she is atleast 15, she's 12 now.
    Why would I marry her off. Believe it or not, this is very difficult for most American men to do because we use to be some outrageous people, but my reasons is as an nabi SAWS said...fitnah. I do not want to be in a position of causing fitnah for her if it isn't needed.
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 14, 2007 at 07:05 PM

    salaam brother, u know wot im glad u have come up with this question because its so hard even to imagine.

    i know that i would prefer to get my daughters married when they are in their 20s simply because i feel that they would be mature enough for marriage. but what confuses me is that in islam it states that a girl is ready for marraige when she starts her periods. hazart bibi Ayesha was 9 yrs old when she was married to the Prophet. in this day n age most men would prefer to get married to a girl so young for reasons of lust, i hear so many stories of guyz like this it just makes me sick, i havent come across a real muslim man, only on the net, but then again it probaly is just how they either want to be or are real muslim men otherwise most men dont treat their wives with respect.

    so when the issue comes of marrying the girl at a certain age we the parents are given the choice to marry them off to the right man in our eyes.

    what age would u marry ur daughter brother n why?
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