10. Use your
Fitnah' to win the heart of your husband.All women have the ornaments that Allah blessed them with. Use the beauty Allah - Azza wa Jal - has bestowed you with to win the heart of your husband.
9. When your husband comes home, greet him with a wonderful greeting.Imagine your husband coming home to a clean house, an exquisitely dressed wife, a dinner prepared with care, children clean and sweet smelling, a clean bedroom ? what would this do to his love for you?
8. Review the characteristics of the Hoor Al-Ayn and try to imitate them.The Qur'an and Sunnah describe the women in Jannah with certain characteristics. Such as the silk they wear, their large dark eyes, their singing to their husband, etc. Try it, wear silk for your husband, put Kohl in your eyes to
enlarge' them, and sing to your husband.
7. Always wear jewelry and dress up in the house.
6. Joke and play games with your husband.
5. Thank your husband constantly for the nice things he does. Then thank him again.This is one of the most important techniques, as the opposite is a characteristic of the women of hellfire
4. An argument is a fire in the house. Extinguish it with a simple
I'm sorry' even if it is not your fault.When you fight back, you are only adding wood to the fire. Watch how sweetly an argument will end when you just say sincerely, "Look, I'm sorry. Let's be friends."
3. Always seek to please your husband, for he is your key to Jannah.Rasul Allah ? sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam ? taught us that any women who dies in a state where her husband is pleased with her, shall enter Jannah. So .. please him.
2. Listen and Obey!Obeying your husband is Fard! Your husband is the Ameer of the household. Give him that right and respect.
1. Make Dua to Allah to make your marriage and relationship successful.All good things are from Allah. Never forget to ask Allah ta'ala for the blessing of having a successful marriage that begins in this Dunya and continues on - by the
smart wife will be able to balance.... to take action smartly and intelligently
cause every action come with intention!!
especially we want RABBANA ATINA FITDUNIA HASANA WALFIL AKHIRATUL HASANA WAKINA ADABANNAR,,,,, may peace be upon u minal edil walfaizi:)
one can be as spirtual and the most kindest and sweetest of mankind..unfortunatley when someone who is the total oppersit of u he starts to break u up bit by bit no matter how religious u are. it starts to show in ur actions.
so it starts like this...despite beliveing in marriage with the intentions of having a blissful life..one begins to question how far one can endure...
being trapped in a loveless marriage....no mater how the other spouse says that they love u...n god knows how much u have tried.... one starts look out to the world through a caged window..as if one is asking god when is he or someone coming to help.
marraige is good...and being loved and have the oppertunity to love is great...but what if the person is not right.... family tradtions put elders opioions before youreself n its hard to get out because that is what u have been moulded into as u are growing up..and the only way out is to push urself to the limit..in other words when u crack up..only then does one become strong enough and break free...other wise its life imprisonment for most.....because then u have to pick n choose..the love of ur family or the punishment that u have been enduring.
life is easy to live if one lives it that way..marriage is great if one lives it according to religioun.....but the pressure is put on when traditions are forced in..nobody wants those traditions..but the elders insist by living by them...
for some people its esay to get out but for others its not so easy...parents raise their young with thses so called traditions therefore its hard to see anything abnormal..until u start to pay for the concequences of these so called traditions.
The heart has to be worth winning first ;). My brother once said something very interesting (non-Muslim, atheist). He said that people will put into practice whatever it is that goes with the grain of who they are (think of the grain on a piece of wood). In other words if you are kind than you will practice the kindness in your beliefs. However, if you are a narcissist, demanding, rigid and oppressive person....well you get the point.
I applaud your idealism, for religion is nothing if not full of striving, and I hope that your reality matches the intent of matrimony (peace, love and rament for one another). But don't forget about who you are. We are as diverse as our skin colors, languages and experiences. Don't give up yourself for an ideal that few of us truly achieve :).
i know that too bro but not everyone is the same..anywayz it takes a real man to stay true to his religioun and treat his wife with the respect that she deserve...so its good to know that the younger generations idology and steadfast iman is on the right track.
if that post was reply to my comment
my last statement was a joke!!
you have to GIVE and TAKE a little...u cant just say like sum people "ALL men are not pious muslims and when they get what they want they treat you like servants".
may be in your experiences... but a true good muslim is not allowed to do that to thier wife and will not do it due to his obedience to the laws and commandments of Allah
so what if a women does all that which you have stated..and still she doesnt get the respect that she deserves.
unfortunatley in these days and times its not hard finding a man who is a good muslim..tell me sis..would a theif ever say that he is a thief?...probably once he gets what he wants n then tell you he was only after one thing and hes got it now..therefore you are required to be a door mat to him n his family...because no one wants second hand materials...in other words used items
In Islam, marriage is a blessed contract between a man and a woman, in which each becomes "permitted" to the other, and they begin the long journey of life in a spirit of love, co-operation, harmony and tolerance, where each feels at ease with the other, and finds tranquillity, contentment and comfort in the company of the other. The Qur'an has described this relationship between men and women, which brings love, harmony, trust and compassion, in the most moving and eloquent terms:
( And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts] . . .) (Qur'an 30:21)
A righteous woman is the greatest blessing that Allah (SWT) can give to a man, for with her he can find comfort and rest after the exhausting struggle of earning a living. With his wife, he can find incomparable tranquillity and pleasure.
How can a woman be the best comfort in this world? How can she be a successful woman, true to her own femininity, and honoured and loved? This is what will be explained in the following:
* She chooses a good husband.
* She is obedient to her husband and shows him respect.
* She treats his mother and family with kindness and respect
* She endears herself to her husband and is keen to please him
* She does not disclose his secrets
* She stands by him and offers her advice!!
* She encourages her husband to spend
for the sake of Allah (SWT)
* She fills his heart with joy
* She makes herself beautiful for him
* She is cheerful and grateful when she meets him
* She shares his joys and sorrows
* She does not look at other men
* She does not describe other women to him
* She tries to create an atmosphere of peace and tranquility for him
* She is tolerant and forgiving
* She is strong in character and wise
i couldnt agree with you more brother.
in the begining of my marriage i used to think that my husband was so stupid assuming that i would beg him and plead with him each time he would feel that i was a bad wife, and that would be often. anything would make him mad, he would just use any reason to beat me.
beind brought up in the UK we are not taught to beg for pity, or to sit at our husbands feet, neither are we brought up to be brain dead, its hard for men and women who are married of to people from the third world and then expected to live according to their rules, even though you are living in the most talked about independent countries in the world.
most men and women who come over from the third world countries think that they owe the country so as soon as they get you into their palms they start to talk down to you, when you tell them that you have a brain then they beat you. they think that their way is right and yours is wrong, i think that people like this should go back to where they come from.
I can't agree with you. I do agree with some of the things you say; but if you are living in America and are marrying a muslim-man who has been raised in America, this will not work.
American men are use to a strong woman. A woman who is too submissive makes an American man upset and thinks she is weak. I have seen this too many times. An American man will ask a woman "What do you think" and expect an response; but a woman you are talking about will only respond "what ever you say". This is not good. It may work in muslim countries; but not in America. On the other hand, the problem with American woman is that they are too loose. One day they are with this man and the next with another. That is why so many white American men are marrying Asian woman. There must be a balance and intelligence in a woman will help her create that balance.
I say each situation must be judged on it's own; but for me, I don't just want a wife that I love, I want a partner and a friend who we can grow old together with. To play together. To make decisions together and to decide how we raise our children together. What will you do if your husband passes away?
well i tried all that except singing...that only caused the arguments to heighten...
my husband is hard to please..
i tried cooking...that didnt work
money definatley will but i havent got it...
not talking to my mom n brothers would please him....but i cant do that coz my jannah is beneath her feet..therefore i cant please him
i cant die either coz i got kids....
therefore im a prisoner in my own home..thats no life..dont think im gonna entre jannah...