If the wives are eager to discover, to discuss, to debate, to seek.....the ways of how to win the hearts of their husbands, I wonder... don't the husbands bother about how to win the hearts of their wives, as well?
Or is it a genreal concensus that there is a one-way traffic rule in the marriage instituition?
Perhaps the thrill is only in the "Chase"..
Man goes all out to woe the woman's heart till she is all enarmoured and melted; and once she becomes his wife, he hangs up his dumbells, tightens his purse, plunges into his work and just relish at his catch.
End of era for candlelight dinners, romantic getaways, surprise gifts, thoughtful gestures, sweet praises and eight pack abdomens!
If I am accused of exaggerating, well blame it on the general potrayal of marriage, lover boys' antics and husbands' complacency, publicized in books, t.v's, movies, comic strips, media means, etc..... They must have inadvertently obtained their punchlines from some reliable sources!?
If it takes for a wife to do everything, to impress to take care- might as well a wife marry a woman rather than man but this is very wrong in religion. That's where a husband to play a part in being a good ideal one is very important for the motivation of a wife to be a better person vice versa.
In any relationship, friendship- it always takes two hands to clap to impress and to care for each other. It's never a one sided to enjoy the best fruit.
Every day, a woman try hard to take care of the husband vice versa. It is always a duty a responsiblity for both side.
Y Allah create Prophet Muhammad and Ayesha his wife in the first place?- so that those married couple or singles can learn from them as a role model not only becoming a good muslim but a responsible muslim either in marriage, in friendship or the relationship ties in with their parents.
Most of the time, we have heard how can a women win their husbands hearts but only sometimes we heard how husbands can win their wives hearts. This is because maybe in general, men have more ego in a way to post out their feelings and problems to others- its nature (no hard feelings guys) but for women, they are more in sharing their thoughts and problems to family/friends/partners.
Theres a lot of ways which we can do to win each other hard. its not easy and its not hard either. Both have to take great courage, effort and chip in hard work to make a marriage success the correct way, the best is the muslim way which has been shown by Prophet Muhammad and his wife.
The debate between husband and wife in terms of differences will never be over that lead mostly to argument as of course out of ego and sensitiveness, everyone would want to win in most arguments if he or she finds that they are correct. Thats where in a relationship, it takes to compromise and forgiving in all aspects but that doesnt mean a person can take advantage of it.
The "Chase" is always the best part of all relationship but sadly to say, when it has got caught; most relationship turn bores or sour as there is not much romance due to each other commitment in general but there are always consultation in every ways to make a relationship as fresh and as better as before.
I am a husband, and have been married for 11 years now. The thrill is not in the chase but in living the life to the fullest, yes you cannot have frequent candle-lit dinners as you had before you had children, now you have responsibility. I never met my wife before marrying, but we do live peacefully, loving each other and tolerating and respecting each other. Yes everybody has weaknesses, we do fight but we do understand each other, we know each others' responsibilities and we support each other. We might have difference of opinions but we have a common goal.
You will feel what you have said, either yourself or your spouse does not fully understand islam and practice it, if you live the life in western way thats the feeling you will get, but if you do understand what marriage is and practice what deen has taught you, you will enjoy every inch of your life, you will enjoy the fights, you will enjoy the arguments with your partner, the same way as you enjoy going together or having the same decision.