What most people need is someone who would take the time to listend to them and emphatize with their problems or situations.
That person may not necessarily have any solutions but it helps in a way to be able to get the problems out of our chest.
Of course the ideal situation is to be able to talk to our partners or our friends, but at times a sense of anonimity makes us more unreserved to really open up.
So, if it would help to pour out your problems here... then go ahead...
And if anyone has any solutions, they can input. If not, you have at least unloaded something heavy that you have been carrying around.
Take it as a means of your own column likened to "Dear Dr. Distress" or "Dear Aunt Abby"...
(originally commented on about the third of january but rectified a spelling mistake hence different date of comment shown).
everybody certainly does have some weakness or other but only some people show their weakness(es) openly whilst others make a concerted effort to hide theirs.i also used to take people at face value but i am more conscious these days.we all are indeed blessed with different talents/knowledge/free time but unfortunately not everyone is aware of how fortunate they are to be in such an advantageous position.if more people thought like you the world would be a much calmer and beautiful place for many.you are not the only one who finds it difficult to say 'no' to people who come asking for assistance.
i can totally identify with you when you say unreturned borrowed money,possessions,cover up their shifts at work and drive them around and so on.
there were and are people who know i was reluctant to do certain favours for them but they have persevered in their efforts to get me to to do some favour for them which like yourself i eventually do.if ever i need a favour doing in return,which is very rare,i find the very people i have bent over backwards for,tend to give a straight 'no' i can't help you.it wouldn't be so bad if i felt they genuinely couldn't help.what is more annoying is the fact that these very people would not be reluctant to approach me for assistance again.
i often think these type of people are very calculating,manipulative and selfish in the way they use others and are completely aware of their actions and how it impacts on others.i should really be polite but firm in my saying 'no' to those i find don't deserve my assistance.
just before sunrise seems a good time to be out and about.the fresh crisp air,peace and tranquility and the birds singing is quite refreshing.After reading the Fajr prayer it does remind one of Allah swt's magnificence and generosity,Alhamdulillah.
i'm sure if you ever decided to move away to some place where the beach was inaccessible you would find alternatives to replace your current therapy,Insha'Allah
Goes to show that everyone has their weakness and mine is that usually i take people at their face value and often do not think about their worse side until i am proven wrong. That is why it never crossed my mind that people could make fun of other people's woes. My other weakness is that i feel each of us is bestowed with different talents/knowledge/free time for a reason. These assets are actually not ours to claim but they are a means of helping others who may lack them.
This is also why several times, i find it difficult to say "No" to people who come asking for my assistance.
Besides unreturned borrowed money, clothes and other possessions, i've had people asking me to babysit their kids or their pets when they go on vacation; cover up their shifts at work; drive them to supermarkets, airports, etc; or asisst to cook when they have functions. There were certain favours that i was really reluctant to do or that i was loaded with work myself,or that i have other plans, but STILL... if they continued pleading, i'd eventually give in to them. That's why at times i am guilty of keeping my contact or whereabouts unknown just to avoid being faced with such situations! Yep, anonimity is good for my kind of weakness!
Ah, the beach is indeed blissful. But the best time i like being there is just before sunrise. The weather is cooler, no crowd, no activity, no need for any picturesque scene for i just like looking at the movement of the waves and hearing the sound and imagining what goes on underwater. Then when the sun begins to rise, the view above is so breathtaking that it never fails to remind me of Allah's magnificence and generosity. Then seeps in the realisation that Life has to go on, come what may, and it energises me to face the day's happening.
Guess if i do move to a place where the beach is not easily accessible, i should look for other means to replace my current therapy!
my dear sister Fatima i hope you are well,Insha'Allah.
I would agree with you that there are some who may empathise with others and i like yourself do sincerely hope they do.
with all due respect i am surprised that it did not cross your mind that people can be so cruel as to make fun of other people's problems.i have the greatest respect for you and you come across as a very intelligent, caring, kind and very likeable person and i therefore found it all the more surprising that it never crossed your mind.i also believe in what goes round comes around.unfortunately there are people who can be cruel and who get cheap thrills out of mocking or making fun of someone else's emotionally awkward situation.it just goes to show the sad nature of some people who live in todays society.
how can they go telling other people?i meant that people go around spreading gossip and making fun in real life but obviously the worst they can do on here is make fun and try to humour like minded individuals at the expense of some genuinely stressed and depressed individuals.
it would be interesting to be a fly on your windscreen haha.as you correctly say different people react in different ways and if a drive helps soothe or alleviate your stress or worries then i say good for you.the beach sounds like bliss.i can picture a warm sunny day with clear blue skies and the water gently lapping onto the sands and the serene and tranquil atmosphere with a picturesque scene.you're very lucky to be able to disappear to such a beautiful and natural place to think things over or out of your system.i wish i could,i'm sure many others would wish they could too.
i have the utmost respect for your kind and caring thoughts in respect of others problems or wanting to help them.
may Allah swt reward you for your efforts,Ameen.
You are right - i do not know if EVERYONE reading someone else's problem will emphathise with him or her, but i am still hoping there are SOME who might....
And it never crossed my mind that people can be so cruel as to make fun of other people's problems. What goes around comes around and if they did it is just cheap thrills for them.
And how can they go telling other people when most of the time i do not even know who i am corresponding with on this site? That's why i thought the anonimity would make it safe for people needing to confide what may be troubling their thoughts.
Anyway, it is just a suggestion. Different people have different ways of letting go their steam.
Like for me, i'd usually take a long drive in my car and rattle out my woes while driving. I'd usually end up by the beach and just listening to the waves, soothes my situation. And by the time i drive my way home, i'd feel much bettter. My problems may not have been solved, but at least I feel less agitated. If my car could talk.... it has much to tell about me!!!
i hope you are well my dear sister fatima,Insha'Allah.
i totally agree with what you have written,but what makes you think everyone reading someone else's problems will empathise with him or her? i feel that just as people who hear others problems in person and then betray them (by telling others or)by making fun of them it also happens on here.unfortunately there are people like that on this site.
i like your thought in trying to help others where possible and i hope others benefit from what you have recommended/encouraged,may Allah Swt reward you for your efforts,ameen.