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double standard
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Posted on Sat, Jul 05, 2008 10:46

Dear Brothers and sisters, I am a not a muslim, I am a christian, but I recently met a man who I thought was wonderful. He is muslim, and I admired many things about him, including his apparent devotion to his faith.
He approached me, and despite my reservations I encouraged his attentions by going out on dates with him. ( I now know that was not wise). I figured that even though I was not a muslim, he would appreciate other certain qualities in me, e.g. humility, loyalty and willingess to learn about the faith. One day I felt compelled to ask him about his intentions. He told me that he would prefer to marry a muslim sister. Although disappointed, I wished him well and ceased contact. I fully respect his choice if it will help him in his spiritual journey. My question is, why then has he continued to pursue me ? I certainly have not encouraged it, I do not want to enter into a sinful relationship with him or put ourselves in a situation where we both go against our respective religions ! So I have asked him politely to desist even though this breaks my heart. Why would he want an intimate relationship with me but not marriage...I feel insulted. Do some muslim men have less respect for women of other faiths ?



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Posted on Mon, Jun 13, 2011 02:52

Quoting wannabe:

Dear Brothers and sisters, I am a not a muslim, I am a christian, but I recently met a man who I thought was wonderful. He is muslim, and I admired many things about him, including his apparent devotion to his faith.
He approached me, and despite my reservations I encouraged his attentions by going out on dates with him. ( I now know that was not wise). I figured that even though I was not a muslim, he would appreciate other certain qualities in me, e.g. humility, loyalty and willingess to learn about the faith. One day I felt compelled to ask him about his intentions. He told me that he would prefer to marry a muslim sister. Although disappointed, I wished him well and ceased contact. I fully respect his choice if it will help him in his spiritual journey. My question is, why then has he continued to pursue me ? I certainly have not encouraged it, I do not want to enter into a sinful relationship with him or put ourselves in a situation where we both go against our respective religions ! So I have asked him politely to desist even though this breaks my heart. Why would he want an intimate relationship with me but not marriage...I feel insulted. Do some muslim men have less respect for women of other faiths ?



In Islam fornication is forbidden and marriage is encouraged. Success in Islam through intention and sincerity to please God and his intention was not good. So he has deceived himself. He is being a hypocrite. Some of these men are attached to their cultural practices and self desires. He is obviously inviting you to sin as well so you should explain this to him and leave it.

If you google Islam Channel mosque locator you will see mosque near your area that you can perhaps attend classes. If you google Concept of God in Islam by Guy Eaton you will read more on this.



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Posted on Wed, May 19, 2010 13:24

Dear friend, welcome to the real world.. Majority of men have the wrong intentions, most of them are confused, not too sure what they want in life.. They have this tendency in involving anyone and everyone in their confused world..

I am married, I thought I had seen everything but life had missed out on deception, so now have had experience.. Muslim men do venture out and try having relationships with women of different religion however most of them are weak, so even if their intentions were good, the thought of their family never agreeing to the relationship dictates their mindset..

don't be disheartened, there are a few who are strong and will stick by what they beleive in, however they are very few individuals.



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Posted on Mon, Nov 03, 2008 16:13

Hi,

Im a little disturbed to hear your story, I am sorry it happened like that.

Let me tell you, that under the islamic codes of conduct, this liason with any female be you of muslim or non muslim faith is not permitted. As you would be aware, comitting fornication is a serious sin and is punishible in islam with flogs. so if this man was indeed full of faith and virtue he wouldnt lead you on and try to get intimate with you.
This is not the islamic way. Islam dignifies women and places respect and virtue in the hearts of people. Don't worry too much about him, he's probably on the rebound :-)



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Posted on Tue, Oct 14, 2008 09:41

dear sister

they boy who approached you that in islam first of all i want to clear one thing that is islam is such a religion which has both men and women rights to equality of any religion. men and womens are same.
the second answer to your question is the boy who has approached you he might be having such a intention in his mind that you are a good christian and in islam a muslim can marry a jew, christian as well. and finally the point here is they guy who is intimating the relation between you and him their might be other reasons also not only islam. i prefer not to take it serious thinking only about islam.

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