Questions of honesty and keeping safe Share dating advice and safety tips

  • View author's info Author posted on Dec 02, 2009 at 01:29

    Salaam alaikum everyone


    I just have a question (looking for advice really). I've met someone from another islamic site and at first I really enjoyed there emails and actually started to hope again.

    Obviously him being a muslim is a big part of me being interested in him. He is a convert which in of itself doesn't really make any difference to me. Im just interested in someones faith now.¿Lately though I've ¿just have started picking up on things which make me wonder if he is a muslim really. For instance is it really possible to be a muslim for 4years and not know that you don't fast on Eid?

    I was going to meet him with some friends of mine but this and a couple of other things have made me hesitate. At the same time though I don't want to be one of these people whos waiting for some super man who doesn't really exist.


    Any advice would be much appreciated.

  • 4Comments

  • View author's info posted on Dec 10, 2009 at 17:13


    My dear sister Krina99 I hope you and yours are in the best of health,Insha'Allah.

    You're welcome for the advice and I'm sorry I couldn't give you any better advice.I'm sorry to hear it never worked out for you but as you correctly say it's not meant to be your time yet and probably for good reason.There would be nothing worse than to rush into a relationship only to find that one had made the wrong decision.Having said that,time waits for no person and we don't get any younger.

    Unfortunately there are many who can identify with the way you probably feel and I'm certainly counted as one of the many.I'm sure the very lucky man who is suppose to enter your life is just around the corner,Insha'Allah.

    I wish you all the best with your search and in general, take care, Allah hafiz.
  • View author's info posted on Dec 08, 2009 at 02:16

    Thank you all for your advice.

     Decided against seeing him when he suggested meeting without any friends being present.

    Thanks for your advice sincerity2005 you were right of course.

    Well maybe not my time yet after all.


  • View author's info posted on Dec 07, 2009 at 03:38


    I hope you and yours are in the best of health,Insha'Allah.

    In my humble opinion it is highly unlikely for a convert(/revert)to not know that on Eid fasting is forbidden.Even for a revert on their first Eid it would be nigh on impossible for them to not know you aren't suppose to fast on that particular day.

    With all due respect, you come across as an intelligent lady who has her feet on the ground.For you to show hesitation in meeting him with your friends tends to imply that you have your doubts about his alleged islamic character or his honesty.I and I'm sure many others can totally understand why you maybe thinking in this manner.Something has raised a suspicion and probably for good reason too.If I was in your shoes I would more than likely think the same way.

    I'm not qualified in the slightest to advice anyone but I hope my answer helped a little bit,sorry if it didn't.Wishing you all the best,take care, Allah hafiz.
  • View author's info posted on Dec 05, 2009 at 03:40

    Wa alaykumus salaamu wr wbhu, sister
    Allah knows best, sister. If being a muslim for 4 years, I don't know that - I have not been studying my Deen as should if at all, nor interacting with muslims much. At least, I'll advise my sister, daughter or mother to be cautious, very cautious as most likely there are many other surprises unless he was joking about not knowing you don't fast on Eid.
    I used to repeat the shahaadat in dhikr with each breath almost during my college days. But whn I joined a muslim fellowship on campus and mentioned that, I was asked: "even while in the restroom?" That I realise I had been wrong repeating the holy word Laailaaha illAllahu , even while in the restroom. So i had to be repeating/reading something else as my mind would automatic be repeating the kaleemat from ardent love and constant repetition.I also used to fast almost every day of the year but never on Eids. My reason for mentioning these was to show people might not know some things or might not remember. The community hep remind/inform me against doing dhikr with each breath even in a comfort station; but some also tried, I believe with good intention, to discourage me from fasting those extras, etc. Some muslims like the sahaabat/companion of the H. Prophet s,a.w. called Hamzat r.a. fast almost every day and that is okay except the Eids, i think.
    These are only my thoughts and opinions,n are wrong unless Allah makes them right. But my sister in Islaam, be very careful and take your time, and learn more before more/closer interactions.
    Also an advice to myself to keep learning more about my Way of Life rather than wait to be spoonfed at a Jumaat prayer khutbat/sermon by the Imams etc. "Acquisition of Knowledge is obligatory on muslims and muslimats" says the Holy Prophet s.a.w. in a Tradition transmitted since the Prophet s.a.w.
    Again, all errors are mine!
Follow - Email me when people comment