should i stay or should i go? relationship Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Feb 13, 2011 at 01:10 AM

    Assalam alaykum,
    am at a dilema about my marriage, i have been married to a good muslim husband for about six years now, we are blessed with a beatifull girl that we both adore. My husband is the first and only man i have ever been with, we met when i was very young and got married within a year. Now my problem is that i have with time fallen out of love with him,he is the comlpete opposite of what i would consider a good husband, our marrige has become like that of a 70 years old couple, no romance, no communication, the only thing we talk about is weather our daghter has eaten, slept.. etc. sometimes i wonder what we would say to each other if we did not have her in our lives.
    Am dreaming of leaving him and finding my prince, do u think am being naive? i dont want to stay untill am 50 and regret my life. he says that he loves me n will never let me go, but i know he will NEVER change. i believe you are what u r and one cannot change his or her personality. i have tried to give it a try and see if i can love him again but, i cant.. i cant even spend time with him without being so upset...
    has anyone felt like this in your marriage, and how do i deal with this, is divorce the only answer?
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  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2011 at 10:44 PM

    As salaamu alaykum sister
    I can totally relate, my story is similar but only that I had some pressing reasons to leave. I divorced my husband of 11yrs thru fassigh. Its been 1yr now nd 4 mnths since I left home. Its been very hard my sister. Its not easy to walk out nd think that u r strong enuf to withstand the loss. I too daydreamed about a life without him, one where I would dream about meeting another man my own prince, but it doesnt work that way. For all the reasons in the world that I had left I now find I am going craze. Im now more infatuated with him nd fixated on his everyday activities. U will find that if u seperate u might be more grateful for him. Sister, u dnt have a real reason to leave, in fact u have more reason to stay nd truly give it another chance, but this time to work on it much more. I have a book I can share with u nd will email/upload it for u tomorrow Inshallah. The hardest part of leaving will be when/if he finds someone new, that will devastae u even tho now u might think it will be better if he does. The hardship is not that u wont be able to afford living on ur own, the hardship is that u only know him, u only know life from ur parents home to ur husbands home. Its not easy to meet ppl nd connect with them. U not going to find enuff things to occupy urself with when u alone. U going to find that its easier to go back to ur prev life with him than what it is to go on without him. Sister, the change needs to start with u. U right u cant change him, but u can change urself. Pls take my advise. The book I will send u, keep an open mind to it nd focus on changing urself nd not how u can change him. U havent tried anything yet if u havent started to change within urself. I hope i have shed some light on ur situation Inshallah. May Allah guide u nd make it easy for u stay nd work on ur marriage inshallah Ameen. Wslm
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