End the silence on domestic violence Cultures and Education Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on May 17, 2012 at 11:31 AM

    Salam everyone I would like to open up a new and taboo subject within our muslim community, domestic violence.
    Domestic violence is a serious of mental, physical and emotional abuse afflicted upon people within close and intimate relationships.
    This is most common with a male partner abusing his female wife or girlfriend.
    Also it happens the other way around female to male parents to children, children to parents and amongst siblings.
    I will post as time goes on please feel free to comment.
    I know this is a delicate subject but as a muslimah I feel it is upon me to speak up and bring awarenes on this subject after seeing and hearing many muslim and non muslim women and their kids go through this hell.
    There is very little support out their for muslims and InshAllah I want to make even a small change to improve thet situation.
    Our beloved Muhammed saw said help your brother if he is being oppressed or is the oppresser,
    his companions replied how can we help him if he is the oppresser, He saw said by stopping him oppressing. Masalama

    If there is anyone is reading this and is or knows someone who is going through this , please seek help.
    At least begin to educate yourself on whata buse is and if you are  or have been a victim of it.
    I recommend Pat Cravens freedom programme and the book that comes with the the course  the Dominator.
    Its an amazing book that goes into detail about the different faces and cycle of abuse that the dominataor {the abuser} shows and inflicts upon his or her victim.
    Im gonna put myself out there for the sake of other victims i refuse to feel ashamed about another persons actions and sick behaviour.
    If I speak aboyt my own experience of dv I hope that it will encourage other victms to get help and to stop blaming themselves
    Like I said this is such a taboo amongst muslims, when it shouldnt be.
    I am not here to encourage the break up of marriages ,im only here to stand up and speak out against oppression.
    May Allah help me to help others and to guide me and heal me from my own weakness ameen.
    Here goes, I have been married twice and have kids from both ex husbands,
    My story is way to long and mentally and emotionally exhausting to go into.
    I will tell the things thay would help other victms and the muslims in general on how much sistres are suffering in silence.
    It starts in the begining of the realtionship he would always want to be around me, ask to many questions more than a muslim husband would ask.
    Always take up my time or if he was out with the brothers had to make sure i was home mostly alone.At first this seemed ok, but then when you add it with other behaviour it begins to show sighns of the cycle abuse.
    He woud always find faults with my friends no matter how nice they were,
    he would sulk and make me feel bad for spending time with my family i would invite him to come but he would say no.
    I thought he really loved me thats why he wanted me all to himself, I didnt understand his mind set.
    For him if I had friends and family around they would see the abuse before I would and tell me hang on thats not right,so isolation is a great weapon for an abuser.
    stay tuned i will continue on this blog maslama
    Follow - email me when people comment
  • 1Comment

  • View author's info Posted on Sep 08, 2012 at 03:59 PM

    salam everyone its been a while, well I have come along way and feel great. Im laughing now really laughing til my sides hurt I enjoy life , the sun the sky and all thepostives in my life
    I am in therapy and it has helped me to rid myself of alot of baggage hurt and anger, that physically and m entally was holding me down.
    I know im not the only one to have gone through this so please to hide away the first step to being from abuse is to speak and speak until finally somebody hears. maslama
Follow - email me when people comment