Muslim Blogs > Fatima22's blogs > Islam Elevates the Woman's Status??

Islam Elevates the Woman's Status??

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A friend of mine is in a marriage where the husband preaches that in Islam,
1)The husband is the "King" of the household.
2)His duty is solely to provide for the financial needs of the family. ..
3) The wife and children cannot question his decisions or ask where he is going or why he needs to go out...
4) The wife must be obedient to her husband and serve him well...
5) The wife cannot go any where, even to get groceries, without the husband's permission ...
6) the wife cannot answer back her husband in a defiant or reproachful manner..

So every day, my friend is cooped in the house... her husband comes home from work, spends about an hour at home ... then he goes out... and returns very late at night or in the early mornings and this happens every day of the week.. and on weekends he refuses to bring the family out saying he is too tired and just wants to laze at home...
If the wifes questions where he goes or what he does... she will be reproached as being a bad muslim wife...
The wife is highly educated with a U degree.. was holding a top managerial post befor marriage...but now has become subservient when she became a Muslim wife...

Is this correct ???

Whether in a Muslim or non Muslim marriage, I feel RESENTMENT ... is one of the main cause of relationships drifting apart.. ..specially resentment that has been harboured for too long.

It starts as a dissapointment...
If nothing is done about it, it turns to disgust....
Then, if still left unattended, it turns to anger ....
And if no effort is made to discuss or voice the matter out, then it becomes irreversible and by that time the couple would have drifted too far apart to hope for reconciliation... for by then they would have become like strangers to each other...

Happy are the couples who can be frank and open with each other .. who are able to view adverse comments constructively and not let their ego get in the way...

No hope for the couples in a relationship where the husband insists superiority at all times .. and worse still .. when he says that he did not make the rules.. Islam made the rules for the husband !!
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Sounds like lack of love and communication in this relationship.

I recomend both should read Fealing Good book by David Burns,

also needs Marriage counceling
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salaam , it is hard not to have a feeling about this topic because i hear so many stories about this type of behavior coming from the man. the prophet peace be upon him was the best example for men on how to treat their wives . when he was married to aisha he played with her they would have races together . when he was married to khadija he helped her in her business . he was a kind man to his wives . some men not all i feel has taken the head of house hold a bit to far because they abuse this not realizing the impication it has on the women especially if she was once independant. marriage is a partnership where you work together on conflicts that arises . you help each other out you communicate with each other good or bad . why should there be im higher than you i do what i want when i want and dont you question , as if the wife is lower than you .she's a humanbeing . this is not love , or care . How can a wife make the house a peacful enviornment if a husband with a misenterprataion of the sunnah beats it into them . i cant imagine the houshold . being in sheer terror upon his arrival . im sure it's the illusion of happiness. astaghfirullah.

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salams sister

The brother is totally out of order. Your wife needs to talk to someone from his family. If this carries your friends gonna end up depressed.

He needs to realise that his wife and children are the priority. Unfortunately these kind of stories are too common nowadays.

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siste fathima

islam has become one of the highly misunderstood religion.If you go to the teachings of prophet mohammad "women are given best of the rights in islam"
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The first thing that struck me was number two in your list states, "His DUTY is SOLELY to provide for the financial needs of the family". I wonder if that is his SOLE DUTY in a loving islamic marriage? Apart from anything else,it would not harm one to help with the household fact it is recommended!

Sorry for the very brief reply.

My reply(of the 06.12.07) to your blog,(Love-from one male's point of view, of the 17.11.07) seems to go more in depth to the question at hand.I must say that your blog of the 17.11.07 was very readable, THANKYOU.

Take care,

Allah hafiz
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sister fatima,...
Lets not misunderstand the concept and the meaning of Allah's command that a man has a grade over their wife,we should not question Allah WHY?(if ur a true believer!).It does not mean that he should be arrogant or treating her like a slave.Please check Prophet Muhammad's teachings regarding this issue,so that we should not take someone's indecent act and reflectto Islam.You can contact me for more on this issue.