Muslim Blogs > Fatima22's blogs > Women & Men Relate Differently .....

Women & Men Relate Differently .....

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The past few days, I was preoccupied with calls from my girlfriend. She was troubled that her boyfriend seemed to be emotionally distant from her.

I told her many times to just ask him up front what was troubling him but she refused and preferred to do the guessing game.. that he was bored with her, that he may have found someone new..etc, etc, She was afraid that if she were to ask him directly, she won't be able to face the truth and their relationship may have an early termination....

Tired of patronizing her suspicions, I asked the guy directly what was troubling him and disocvered that he actually had some problems with his superior and he was contemplating changing his job. He did not tell his girlfriend about this as he did not want to trouble her. He was unaware that he was subconsiously giving negative signals to his girlfriend and that she was sensing some distance.

Anyway, the air is cleared now & both are happy again.

Lesson learnt ... relying on suspicions and assumptions may just worsen things. Get the truth... it saves unneccessary sorrows. And even if the truth hurts, I feel it is better to know and accept the truth than to embark in a world of pretence..

I realise that men are less prone to express their emotions. They tend to keep things to themselves. Women on the other hand cannot understand why men do not open up easily or voluntarily to them.

Women mistakenly expect men to react and behave the way they do while men continue to misunderstand what women really need...
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Quoting author:
women 90% emotional while men 10%.

so never expect men to understand what women wants....

human wants is unlimited... there comes the terms of choice!!

Hi Nasah011

I did not ever change my blog and delete words and after say i did not say it ????

You wrote: And One thing you are bias on saying Women are 90% emotional while Men are just 10%..

But the above statement WAS NOT SAID BY ME... It was originally posted by another member who was giving her views.

What is not good is you saying somone did something but that person actually did not do it....

Thank you for your doa that hopefully i may never have to face that same situation myself... If i did, i should try to get my facts right first before jumping to conclusions... InsyAllah.
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Dear Nasah011

Firstly, may I highlght that it was not me who wrote that "Women are 90% emotional while Men are just 10%"... it was commented by someone else ... Please check the facts before accusing me of being bias.

I think you mistook the meaning of EMOTIONAL and EMOTIONS.

Emotional is more to describe a tendency to be aroused by emotions. Females are perceived to be more emotional in that they tend to get worked up more easily, e.g. cry over little things like sad movies, scream when afraid, worry more, eager to talk about the day's happenings, etc, while men seldom have outbursts of emotions. This is what i am discussing about...the different reactions from the genders that sometimes cause misunderstandings. Uhibbu may be correct in commenting the varied percentage of emotional tendenies between the 2 genders..

Like in this case, the guy kept his worries to himself while the girl thought he may be unhappy with her. In a reverse situation, the girl would have easily shared her work problems with the guy instead of keeping to herself.

No one here is accusing men of being void of EMOTIONS. It is just a question of how they relate/show their emotions, which usually is diferent from the women. When we make the effort to understand this difference, I feel it would help males & females dispel misconceptions about each other.

For this case, the girl is worried that she is not making him happy enough and that is why he seemed emotionally distant .. Is it correct to say this is a lack of TRUST by the girl?? Or is it LOVE that makes her care too much? To her, if he loves her, would he not turst to share all his sorrows and joys with her?
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Dear Fatima22

Your story about two lovers seems to be just No Trust between them?
She just assumed that he is fallen out of love.on his part trust was there .while he thought its small matter not to bother her coz he didn't want her to worry about it. thats LOVE.. So it proves there she didn't trust him....No friendship or marriage will survive without the Trust. And One thing you are bias on saying Women are 90% emotional while Men are just 10% ..Its not fair, men do have emotions and care for his friends and wife(if there is one) Its just individual situations that makes it different. Tust is the main thing in relationship.

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.....i think it is also because a man's brain is single-focussed, while a women's brain tends to multitask.

When a man is under stress, he can easily forget everything else, even his partner or errands, for a monent and just focuss on his problem... while women tend to want to talk out and share their feelings and problems. I may be wrong, but I noticed a lot of these reations from my friends and colleagues.

I also noticed that often when after seeing a movie or after an outing with friends, women may have lots to say about it while men may have nothing to comment about their happenings.. I don't think it is because they do not want to tell/share... it may be that they are less expressive than women... But they would usually tell when asked ... if only we women will ask them and not assume otherwise...
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dear fatima22 ..
alsalam alaikom ..
atually im agree with your "analayzing" to this simple trouble that's couldn't be "simple" if you are not face it ..
the girl felt negative feels .. what's happened? do i make mistake? do im loseing my boyfriend? & & & ...
in the sametime the boy is also right about not telling her about his trouble in job for the reason you said before ...
but you done the most important factor that make any relaion conteniue .. it was the franck .. fact .. trasfer your feel directly without hide anything.. even it's not important .
finally thanks for you and let's them have fun .. :) samar