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advice needed

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hi i am a man aged 27 from northern england and i am already in a married relationship i wanted to get married again but my first wife is not happy and will not give me permission what advice can anyone here give me in this matter plz
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The problem would be solved so easy, if women would be allowed to have more then one husband, the husband would surely think twice before wanting to have another wife....if you truly love your wife, why would you even want to marry again....if it was an arranged marriage and you dont love her then divorce her and marry again...and she can maybe meet someone that will make her happy and marry again too...I am sure she wants to be happy...really think about why you want a second wife...and think wouldnt agree if i was married to my husband having a second wife. I wish you both happiness and may you make the right decision...Insha Allah.  


                                                Pittsburgh, PA


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Salam nad000

Well the answer is simple, either you give up the idea, if you truly love your wife, or divorce her. In Islam you can only marry another wife if your wife is ok with it.

Allah Hafiz
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I do not know if you made a decision about a second marriage or not. I will try not to repeat what the brothers and sisters shared here. But I would like to shae a story with you about having more than one wife.

Ali Ibn Abi Talib (Prophet Mohammed's cousin) was married to Mohammed's daughter and he wanted to marry for the second time. The duaghter, of course not happy with that. went to her father complaining. Prophet Mohammed didn't talk to Ali about this because, as is known to everyone, it is not forbidden to have more than  a wife. But when the pride-to-be family went to ask for Mohammed's permission (of course out of courtsy), prophet Mohammed said "If Ali wants to marry, he has to divorce Fatima".


The point in this stor is not that you should divorce your wife to marry another one. I just want to put out there how something that Allah himself hates could be accpetable in such situations when a human being's feelings are hurt. Having a second wife does not only make the first wife sad or jealous, it crushes the feeling of appreciation and ends any chances of true love and compassion between her and her husband.

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I think if you let your wife marry another man then it is ok for you to marry another women.this will solve your problem

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you need to think about the reason (WHY) you feel the need to marry again?

you need to think why it is your wife does not want you to marry another while married to you? is she jealous or perhaps loves you very much she can not bear the thought of sharin you with another?

is there children involved with your first wife? how will this affect you children, your family, your freinds, your surroundin?

are you simply lookin for another women because the passion between youa nd your wife has died? is yes think why has it dies? why can you not start again.

at the end of the day it will be your choice but you need to think the reasons out. be careful at the same time because suggessions, words can hurt your wife.

see it from your wife's point of view.

do not neglect her feelings, opinions or thoughts because there is a reason why she is you married her in the first place. what was it that attracted you to marry her and stay with her? go back to the past and work things through....
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Hello, your age is 27 as you mentioned, the question is how mature is your wife how long is your marriage life,if you got love marriage then you don't love her and if it was arranged then she don't love you now sit togather and try to understand each other give her free envoirment of expression also express your self and don't abused her now its upto your ability to agree her or not and take her time without mentioning.

Lhr Pakistan
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thanks for your advice
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Oviously your first wife is not too keen on you marrying another, the reasons well you know best, perhaps if you were in a diff country where an islamic marriage ment something it would be different. I would advise you to treat your wife as you would treat your new wife, Perhaps change the routine and keep the spark, Starting a new relationship is always harder then altering an existing one. And Face the fact mate you living in England how many non-muslims you know have more then one wife?

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The state of your life
is nothing more than a reflection
of your state of mind....

You can either try to convince your 1st wife with valid reasons why you want to marry again, or just proceed despite her objections...

1) If she finally agrees.. then it's well and good for you... but you have to bear the responsibility to keep 2 wives equally happy...

2) If she disagrees but you stil go ahead to marry again without her permission, it will be obvious that your life will be filled with unhappiness in your 1st marriage ... Then you'll be faced with 2 options...Either you divorce the 1st wife or bear the consequences patiently...

If you think you want to dispense with all these problems... that just change your state of mind and concentrate on making your present marriage blissful...

The sad thing in marriage is that couples have a tendency to forget the qualities that first attracted them to their partners before marriage.. During trying times, reflecting on these qualities may help to soften the heart and not just focuss on the present dislikes of each other.....

Of course, it is also necessary that BOTH PARTIES, must be willing to want to put in the effort to make the marriage work, otherwise it would be like clapping with just one hand.. thus producing no effective outcome...
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I would like to advice u not to get married for 2.time, why do u need marrige when u have a wife. U must know that u live in eaurope and this kind of things are not accepted here, u will be forced to divorce one of them in the future if they discover u. and think about the children u might get with the second wife, how will u register them, u take something from them that they dont get somewhere else its family life, a family containing of 1 mother & father.
I dont think its possible for u, u should divorce the first one to get married, but if u want to keep the first one and marry another one, u will get into troubles. that was my meaning, i hope is ok.
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hey whats wrong with first wife?
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i dont know. that sound like an hear question to answer. my grandfather had 3 wife. im still trying to figure out how he did it. i think it because he was a really high e-maum in cambodia for all the cham muslim.

sorry im not sure on how to spell the work.

Seattle, wa