Attraction for another man Romance

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 19, 2007 at 08:15 PM

    My friend is married but is really lonely.... her husband does not spend quality time with her and has not been intimate with her for a long time plus whenever he comes home he just sits on the internet or watches TV and then goes to sleep.does not talk to her....She has started studying MBA and has fallen for her class fellow...Her attraction to him is really strong.I have advised her that this is not right ,she knows that too but she is desperate and canot stop thinking about this guy who is also from her country and is Muslim,is there any surah or any Duaa that anyone of you can precrisve that can help my lovely friend get out of this situation,she is very innocent and I feel very bad for her regarding her situation.
  • 4Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 01, 2014 at 06:20 AM

    (You)She is not innocent and there are no Duas nor Imaginary friends to call upon your own actions! If the foundation is Islam, one needs to know that, you are created with senses and those senses will scream at you each time there is a surge that triggers those emotions. Islam is not a team player, Islam is 1 player on 1. 1on1.


    With that said, it means you are responsible for your own actions and as jazzJaz said " Love is not something that we can buy, it is a gift that is given to us,and how we use it, is what becomes of it." She has immersed her head into another distraction and now she is entertaining that distraction. It is what becomes out of this she sheould be concerned. If she touches that HOT iron she will get burned it is that simple!

    You or, your friend who is attracted to another man, should conunsel yourself and ask yourself a 1001 Question understand the consequences of what you are about to embark on and, then act on it. Enjoy for a day or that 5 second of Oooh and Aaaah! Then reject yourself forever as dirt. Or, find a way and take responsibility of confronting your marriage head on! If he is your husband use your feminity and attract him. find out why is he detached, talk to him in a civilized manner, since raising your voices (both) only means one, is not ready to have a conversation and don't force it. 

    If you find that, your spouse is gung ho into leaving and there is nothing you can do to change that! Immediately seek divorce, stay your prescribed period of abstinence and then go after this other guy like a Bitch in Heat. You will then find out "Grass is not green on the other side of the fence as it appeared"

    You have narrated this story and are already victimizing a guy who comes home and stays on the computer and watches TV. There is no HARAM in that. Yet you demonized him and gave us the sorry ass story of how lonely she is, hence justying the Haram she is about to embark ON! Shaytan...

    No one said it easy. Work on it both of you. Or Get the hell out of it amicably!

  • View author's info Posted on Jun 09, 2011 at 05:35 PM

    Wow ! We have doors that we can walk through to keep us from being like those we wish not to be; but more and more I see that, althought we say we want to be different we are turning out to be the same. Love is not something that we can buy, it is a gift that is given to us,and how we use it, is what becomes of it. I don't know if the male in this movie is a willing player, but he is thought to know better then to act in such a manner, although she should too; yes we are human, and we have faults as humans do, but some things we need not willingly walk into and think it won't leave a stain; 99 is not the same as 100, and we should not think that because they are close that the difference will not be noticed; if things are that bad, one should be willing to fix it or walk yasin and see if you can make this situation work inside of this surah and maybe you can find an answer. this thing is not hard, we just have to make the right choices at the right time.
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 15, 2010 at 11:58 PM

    obviously your friend and her husbands sexual attraction has faded away so all i got to say is go buy a sexy lingerie and spice it up in the bedroom
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 20, 2007 at 03:24 PM

    Hi Pretty,

    The situation u sketch for your friends is not really new, usually in marriage over a period of time stangnency does come in relationship, partners usually feel fedup from each other. I dont know if they have Kids or not. There is a strong need of some one to bring them on a platform to discuss the issue of what his Wife Expect from her and how she want that attention so badly and why or What he want from her wife.

    An Open conversation should be done either by themselves or if they agree u can bring them together for a coffe or dinner or lunch to address the issue.

    ALLAH has given the open option if U two doesnt feel the connection its better to go apart and find some one else instead of cheating and living in sinful life.

    may ALLAH Help U.